How do you let your significant other know what you want for Christmas?

[cynatnite]

Husband and I have been married 20 years and usually I never say what I want. I wind up with the same perfume I have worn for the last 10 years, candles, and a few other things. There isn't that mega-gift with the wow factor. Well, except one time when I admired a pretty set of dishes. I did get that for Christmas.

So, this year I pulled the middle daughter aside and showed her what I wanted. Her job was to let the husband know what I wanted, but not to tell him I told her to tell him.

Am I being silly?

[femmocrat]

1. We exchange lists. Our whole family does.

Not one of us was born with the mind-reader gene.

[pitohui]

2. i would just tell them, it would be awful to get candles and perfume which nobody likes!

if i want something special i just tell him

however many years there is nothing i want more than just being able to put a little $$ aside and not wasting money -- i would rather get nothing than have $$ wasted on stinky smells -- so some years i get something special (which we have agreed on and budgeted on in advance but it does have that "wow" and some yrs i really get nothing)

i'm at an age where if i don't have it already, then it's because it's too expensive to for anyone to give as a gift, so i don't know what to do about that

if all else fails and neither of us can think of anything, then there's always the option of a nice bottle of wine, champagne, or high end bourbon...

you're not being silly, many couples don't talk abt what they like, and it would be hard to switch gears after 20 years, to tell him, hey honey, for 20 years i've been getting perfume and candles and i'm not your fucking kindergarten teacher, i hate perfume and candles and this rage has just been building up and i'm thinking maybe this year you could buy me a nice uzi instead... :-) honestly, the way you're handling it by using a go between sounds as good as any

when i first met my hubby, i had a funny story abt a guy who gave me a completely inappropriate birthday gift and this allowed us to talk a little more frankly abt gift giving from the very beginning...perfume is for people you don't know very well, it's the desperate gift, run into the drugstore and buy some stupid perfume...but if your husband doesn't know that after 20 yrs it would be real hard to tell him now, because you don't want to make him feel shitty -- it's the orgasm problem...

[Kali]

4. ...

:rofl:


"and it would be hard to switch gears after 20 years, to tell him, hey honey, for 20 years i've been getting perfume and candles and i'm not your fucking kindergarten teacher, i hate perfume and candles and this rage has just been building up and i'm thinking maybe this year you could buy me a nice uzi instead... :-)"
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

the smiley is the perfect puntuation:rofl:

[struggle4progress]

3. One year, I actually went "window-shopping" for a day with a bunch of relatives:

we walked exhaustively through a lot of stores, looked at tons of stuff, and chattered non-stop about what we saw. At the end of the day, I have a pretty good idea what people liked and didn't like, what they already had, what they thought they needed, and what they thought about the pros and cons of this and that

It made shopping the next few days much easier!

[SoxFan]

5. Pretty simple

"Gee, I'd REALLY like a Drew Brees #9 Saints jersey/Siouxie & the Banshees compilation/etc..."

[LeftyMom]

6. I handed the phone to the antique shop owner so she could get his visa number.

He's busy. I'm not going to make him play twenty questions to figure out what I want.

[bigwillq]

7. Tell them.

It's that simple.

[Common Sense Party]

8. My significant other usually buy it and tells me that's what I'm getting for her.

Saves me the hassle.