Feeling so sad...

[laylah]

this is my 26th wedding anniversary. We became legally separated in September 2002 because I had a bi-polar/menopausal moment. It sucks when you cannot correct mistakes.

[demtenjeep]

1. I am sorry

Maybe it is not too late. Can you re-create the magic?

[laylah]

2. What a sweetheart you are...

he never wanted me in the first place. We had kids...you know the rest of the story. I miss him A LOT but will get over it, as I have been striving to do for 8 years.

Don't want to paint him in a bad picture...he was from NYC, me from a cornfield in IL...MAJOR culture shock.

[demtenjeep]

4. You did not paint anyone in a bad picture

but I can tell you regret the end of something you held dear.

I am sending good vibes your way to get you through the day. Things will get better.

[laylah]

5. Thank you...

:hug: Hindsight sucks.

[Swede]

3. Life is hard laylah

Today is tough on the heart.

[laylah]

6. Yes, it is, especially

when you remember all those years ago. I am fine, just being nostalgic :hug:

[demtenjeep]

7. I totally understand that.

Maybe you should watch a good funny movie or take yourself out to a nice dinner!

[Callalily]

8. Days like today always

bring inner reflections. It appears your memories are pleasant ones, and that is good. Hang in there. :hug:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

9. I'm sorry for your pain

and sense of loss. I hope the pain eases with time. :hug:

[demtenjeep]

10. How are you doing today NP.I.G.?

I woke up thinking about you today.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

11. I'll pm you

Don't want to high jack this thread.

[laylah]

12. And yours,

sweetie. My pain cannot compare to yours! :hug:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

14. Loss, grief and sadness

cannot be compared. Both of us have lost a husband to different circumstances and I'm sorry for you are feeling sad. You have my sympathy laylah. :hug:

[laylah]

15. I wish you only

peace. PLEASE, I am here if you need to talk, rant, cry, expound, whatever. Feel free to pm me. My pain now feels so insignificant to yours, and that is okay! I cannot imagine the loss of a love like you have just experienced. I am here...just "call" :hug:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

17. Thank you

laylah. :hug:

[Urban Prairie]

13. I have gone through similar with my wife many times!!

I sense that she is bipolar and when she goes into her PMS stage, her rage multiplies until she becomes sheer hell to live with. I have left to go to stay @ my mother's home several times over the past ten years that we have been married, during the worst episodes until she calms down. There is nothing that I can say or do to help her. She recently half-heartedly tried to commit suicide by downing 25 or so of my remaining amoxicillin Rx as she is allergic to penicillin. I would not have known what she did if she hadn't thrown the empty bottle at me. I had to call 911 and have them take her to the hospital. She has been unemployed for most of the past four years, has no health insurance, and became addicted to roxicodone early last summer. If she put even half the effort to find a job that she has in procuring her monthly Rx and supplementing it with what she can get from her gfs, she would have been employed long ago, IMO.

I am disabled (since '06) and all of my income goes to supporting us. I know that this is going to end badly someday, perhaps sooner rather than later, but at this time I feel powerless to prevent it. The next time that she loses it, she might not be permitted to return from the hospital, that is, if she survives. She also is a binge-drinking alcoholic and heavy smoker.

I have considered separation and divorcing her, but I cannot bring myself to abandon her b/c of her addictions. Most of the time she is stable and normal, but has unpredictable mood swings even when it isn't "that time of the month". I wish that we could afford professional help for her, but that time has come and gone awhile ago.

I don't know the details of the episode that caused your separation from your husband, nor do I know if it was severe enough to be justified on his part, but apparently once was enough for him, He should have perhaps realized that you needed help,and not a cold shoulder.

[laylah]

16. You need to do what is best

for you; however, bi-polar is real! Will she do meds? You need to take care of you BUT take her condition into consideration. What can you do to help? :hug:

[Urban Prairie]

19. I am sorry that I sort of hijacked your thread...

But I am a newbie here and cannot even afford to donate a small sum of money to get a donation star...yet.

I considered starting my own thread about our troubles, but I know that there are so many in our country who are suffering far more than we are, and at least we can get by on my disability income for now. Your post just made me want to vent, since there is no one I know that I can confide in.
My family members want me to dump my wife, and they have said so many times.

I sympathize with you b/c your husband made a vow to you in sickness and in health when you two were married, and he apparently broke it.

[laylah]

24. No actually,

I broke it. Hope things get better for you soon :hug:

[Urban Prairie]

25. Thank you, laylah

It is my wish that you will have another opportunity to love and be loved by someone special soon. I also made a mistake when I broke up with a woman several years prior to meeting my wife. She was divorced with two teens and was ten years older than me. We lived together for two of the eight years of our relationship. She wanted to get married to me, and we got along very well, and rarely got into fights w/each other. I know that leaving her broke her heart, but I had never been married and no kids, and the fact that we would not have been able to have children of our own b/c of her hysterectomy, and I was concerned about our age difference, esp when we became much older.

[Skittles]

27. aw Urban

you're a decent guy who deserves better

[Lorien]

28. She may actually have hypothyroid, Addison's disease or a severe

drop in Progesterone (often all three are related). It's an epidemic in America due to the toxins in our environment that block iodine absorption and cause hormonal imbalances, plus the determination of many doctors to use pituitary gland tests to test thyroid function (gives a false negative) or giving the patient T4 only meds if they do test positive.

Here's a list of low cortisol (adrenal fatigue or Addison's disease) symptoms: http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/adrenal-info/symptoms-low-cortisol/

and hypothyroid symptoms: http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/long-and-pathetic/

Big Pharma encourages the coverup because treatments for the above are natural and cheap, while treatments for the symptoms are not.

[GreenPartyVoter]

18. *hugs* I hate being haunted by those moments.

[LeftyFingerPop]

20. I'm sorry that you are sad today, laylah...

:hug: :hug:

[laylah]

21. Thank you.

You are a dear. And how are you today? :hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

23. Grieving for Lily, but hanging in there laylah...

Thank you for asking. :hug:

[Odin2005]

22. Damn, I'm sorry.

:hug:

[mwooldri]

26. All I can give you are virtual hugs...

... I know it hurts and some things cannot be undone.

I know this because I am bipolar too. I am truly blessed to be with a wife who is very understanding of my illness and is there for me, through thick and thin.

I don't know if there is any chance of any reconciliation, some kind of counselling, some kind of therapy, medical or otherwise ??? I know a lot of bipolar people get into relationships and hope for it to last forever and ever but their partner doesn't fully understand them and things go haywire with the individual who has bipolar and the other partner doesn't understand and throws their arms up and says "I'm outta here, I can't take this". It's hard work being the spouse to someone with a mental illness and it takes sometimes the patience of a saint to work with someone with MI. How my wife puts up with me sometimes I don't know but I am truly blessed by her every day.

I'm sorry it didn't work out with your partner.

*hugs* again, Mark.