so i've started dating again (instead of paying hookers)

[datasuspect]

but these women spend the night and then don't want to leave.

i'm like, 'jeez, NO coffee, NO eggs, JUST go!" i think to myself.

i think i've been single for too long.

or at least maybe i should try and do this shit sober.

because when you have fun the night before and you're tanked, i sure as fuck cannot deal with ANYTHING or ANYBODY the next day.

oh well.

[Moondog]

1. I have heard it said

that the money one pays to hookers is not for the sex. It is for them to leave quietly after the sex. I wouldn't know anything about any of this, of course, but just offer it up for discussion.

[datasuspect]

2. it's true

[Skittles]

15. I cannot even begin to imagine why women would even WANT to stay around you

I'd probably leave in shame; luckily I have great instincts and was always able to weed out the asswipes

[LoZoccolo]

3. !

:popcorn:

[rcrush]

4. I agree 10000%

Please continue.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. start sleeping with men. they leave quicker,

:)

[kayakjohnny]

6. Hahahahaha....

That was the funniest thing I've seen in a month!!!!

Good for you!

Cheers...

[undeterred]

12. They're all farmers...

have to get up and start the day before dawn.

[UndertheOcean]

7. The worst is your hand , it is not like you can cut it off.

[Urban Prairie]

8. That is why in my prime, I did the deed mostly at HER place

Less soiled sheets and wet towels to launder, stale snacks to throw away, ashtrays to dump, dirty glasses and dishes to wash, and my stash of booze would not become depleted. A girl I dated one winter had at LEAST a half-dozen blankets and a heavy bedspread on her bed, not including sheets and pillowcases and would wash all of them the next day every time after I spent the night....sheesh!!!

;)

[nomorenomore08]

9. Do you think her laundering practices had anything to do with your hygiene?

:hide:

[Urban Prairie]

10. I knew that was coming...LOL!!

Nah, she was apparently just too OC about clean bedding, I could understand the sheets but our lovemaking "scent" didn't penetrate 6+ layers of blankets, and it is usually pretty hard to attract the opposite sex if you smell like a wet bear.

[mitchum]

11. I have never paid hookers; what are they gonna do...go to the cops?

[MiddleFingerMom]

13. True confession time.

.
OK. Hookers. But just once.
.
My buddy and I were both 17 years old -- innocent rosy-cheeked boys raised in smalltown
Midwest. Got a weekend pass from basic training and headed into Louisville, KY where we
got a room in a highrise Howard Johnson's hotel near the center of town.
.
We weren't ALLOWED to have civilian clothes, so we were in our dress green uniforms and
decided to walk downtown. We had gone no more than 2-3 blocks when this fastback Mustang
pulls over to the corner and two attractive 30-something women jump out and ask us if we
want a date.
.
Duh.
.
Of COURSE we did.
.
They waited until we were in the back seat of the car before hitting us with any financial
discussion.
.
My buddy and I both admitted to each other much later that we BOTH thought we looked so
sharp in our uniforms that these women couldn't HELP but be YANKED by their hormones over
to the side of the road , where they were compelled to ask us out for dinner and a movie.
We were both too EMBARRASSED to admit that we hadn't known what was going on from the start.
.
We were right about the powerful hormones -- we just didn't spell them right.
.
That's where I learned that being with a hooker was almost exactly like being by yourself --
except it cost $20 (this was a while back).
.
So... ... ... yes -- a hooker.
.
But it was an accident.
.
I SWEAR
.
Talk about your balance -- we ENDED the weekend on Easter Sunday... having been seduced
by two very cute young women into coming to dinner at what turned out to be a Christian
gathering. GREAT dinner -- and the only "preaching" came from a very funny traveling
young minister with a ventriloquist dummy.
.
A fascinating yin and yang weekend, for sure.
.

[naaman fletcher]

14. Dude, go to their place.

Then just get up and GTFO as soon as you can. Always works for me!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. you need

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdl5_3HX8bU

[MilesColtrane]

17. With charm like that, no wonder they don't leave.