CNN BREAKING: Minority Leader John Boehner steps down, to be replaced by stripe-assed baboon

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Above: New Minority Leader Chuck The Stripe-Assed Baboon, who replaced outgoing John Boehner on Friday.

CNN WASHINGTON DC - Minority Leader John Boehner, in a tear-filled speech delivered this morning, announced his immediate retirement from politics, telling reporters "Now that we are on the verge of meaningful health care reform, I feel that my job here is done. I plan to spend more time with my family and get an affordable full physical at my doctor's office next week."

Some present did not realize that Boehner had left the room when his successor, Chuck The Stripe Assed Baboon, began to shriek loudly and hurl his feces at those present. One politician commented "Looks like John is in a good mood today," to which another replied "That's not John," prompting the reply "How do you know," to which the second politician responded "His ass isn't striped. Well, not THAT striped, anyway."

Republican leaders are negotiating with Chuck on the issue of his wearing pants and / or a diaper when in session. Chuck's initial reaction was to hurl his feces at the person who asked the question.

MORE: Boehner Steps Down, Replaced By Stripe-Assed Baboon

[Beetwasher]

1. That Happened Last Year, It's Just No One Noticed Until Now

n/t

[guitar man]

2. LOL

you assnugget!

:rofl:

[arbusto_baboso]

3. At least the baboon has a more natural skin tone.

[sarge43]

4. Better dental care too. n/t

[HopeHoops]

5. That isn't the Boner. Chuck doesn't have a Kraft Mac&Cheese chemical Oompa-Loompa orange face.

Otherwise, I can see where people would confuse them.