Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

cover letter for resume opinion

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
bobmorr1 Donating Member (228 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 06:47 AM
Original message
cover letter for resume opinion
This is what a job counselor gave me for a cover letter. I have to change job industries because of an injury. I've been in the work force for over 35 years. I think the 2 weeks free comment is ridiculous. What are your opinions?

Dear Hiring Executive:

Enclosed is my resume for your review and consideration. I have always been a dedicated employee and I am eager to explore a challenging position within your organization. I wish to become a team player where I may work with you toward goals and accomplishments for the overall growth of the company.

Evidence of my work ethic and character can be seen in my responsibilities and longevity in my previous career path. I also have over 15 years of serving in various leadership positions where I have developed effective communication skills and the trusted ability to make efficient decisions.

I will come in and work for free for the first two weeks to demonstrate my skills and abilities. If not satisfied with my abilities and skills, you lose nothing. I am a positive and upbeat individual who is capable of getting the job done.

I realize that this is only a summary statement of my abilities and professional aspirations. I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to further discuss how I can contribute to your company now and in the future.


Sincerely,
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 07:01 AM
Response to Original message
1. a bunch of tired catch-phrases guaranteed to put the reader to sleep.
and nobody get my work for free.

hope you're not paying for this job counseling. :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LeftyFingerPop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 07:23 AM
Response to Original message
2. bob...
The letter runs on and is too generic.

It needs some unusual and shorter sentences that will hold the reader.

Also, the working for free thing...that might involve some legalities that the employer does not wish to research or deal with.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 08:56 AM
Response to Original message
3. I would not use it.
I thought cover letters were supposed to be written to the specific company. This is generic from the very start. Just my opinion. Good luck in your job search.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 09:36 AM
Response to Original message
4. Dang, I hit Buzzword Bingo before I got half the way through it!
Fuck the two weeks thing.

That so called "cover letter" doesn't say anything significant about you other than you spent 15 years in various leadership positions. The rest is mindless generic blather. Sit down with a clean piece of paper and write down your tangible strengths and achievements as they relate to the SPECIFIC job you are applying for. Each cover letter should be unique to the position and concisely state how your qualifications fit those in the advertisement or posting for the position.

You should also start with a statement of WHAT position you are applying for and where you saw it advertised or posted. The "enclosed resume" line is best left for the closing paragraph, which may be as simple as "I have enclosed my resume for your review and would appreciate the opportunity to discuss this position with you in person."

Keep in mind that the cover letter is not meant as a summary of your resume. That's what the resume is for. The cover letter has to grab the reader's attention so that they want to continue reading and want to look at the resume. When you've got a hundred or so of these to go through, the reject pile fills up quickly. You have to make the reader see how you would fit in that position so that they will review the resume to confirm that you actually do. Similarly, the resume isn't an autobiography. Save the minutia for questions you are asked in the interview.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Amerigo Vespucci Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 09:44 AM
Response to Original message
5. I used to work in H.R...I added some stuff in red so you could see what employers would actually see
Dear Hiring Executive:

Enclosed is my resume for your review and consideration. I have always been a dedicated employee I call in sick a lot, show up late, leave early, and steal company pens and I am eager My girlfriend told me she's going to leave me if I don't pay my half of the rent to explore a challenging position within your organization What's the least amount of work I can possibly get away with for the most amount of money?. I wish to become a team player In addition to my many on the job romantic affairs, I also undermine my fellow employees by talking trash about them and stealing their ideas where I may work with you toward goals and accomplishments for the overall growth of the company Since I don't work for you now, I have no idea what those goals and accomplishmemnts might possibly be, but for now, since I'm desperate for a job, let's pretend I'm interested.

Evidence of my work ethic and character I don't consider marijuana to be a "drug," and the kid isn't mine, because I took a DNA test that said he wasn't can be seen in my responsibilities and longevity in my previous career path Things were going great in Dad's company until he fired me for calling in sick a lot, showing up late, leaving early, and stealing company pens. I also have over 15 years of serving in various leadership positions I taught my dog to sit, beg, and fetch where I have developed effective communication skills and the trusted ability to make efficient decisions I promise that if you give me a funnel and 30 minutes I can find my own ass..

I will come in and work for free for the first two weeks to demonstrate my skills and abilities And don't mind the big red "L" on my forehead. Life painted that there, and I'm desperate.. If not satisfied with my abilities and skills, you lose nothing Except for a few boxes of company pens. I am a positive and upbeat individual who is capable of getting the job done I call in sick a lot, show up late, leave early, and steal company pens.

I realize that this is only a summary statement of my abilities and professional aspirations And I know you really, really care about my professional aspirations. I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to further discuss how I can contribute to your company now and in the future I call in sick a lot, show up late, leave early, and steal company pens.


Sincerely,
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 10:20 AM
Response to Original message
6. The job counselor has no idea what they are doing. Get rid of the person.
That letter will get your resume deposited directly into the circular file.

The cover letter should actually say something about your actual background and experience and how it is related to the job you are looking for.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MrCoffee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 10:31 AM
Response to Original message
7. I'm trying to think of a nice comment about that letter
The author seems to have spell-checked it. That's a good thing.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LeftyFingerPop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
8. You need something closer to this.
Dear (name of specific person):

I am searching for the right words that will encourage you to interview me for Position X. My resume is attached, and I will tell you here a little more about myself and how I will be a benefit to your company.

* Bottom line driven and cost conscious: I saved Company X over $3 million per year (30 % of the annual operating budget) by researching, recommending and implementing a new purchasing system. This system, in addition to providing a substantial direct monetary savings, improved procurement productivity by 20%, allowing the company to provide additional vacation days to our employees.

* Motivational Supervisor: As a supervisor of over 30 direct reports, I was able to almost completely eliminate a serious morale problem by adjusting work shift times to better meet the needs of my specific employees. This in turn resulted in a 50% productivity improvement for my department.

* Excellent health and dependable employee: I took 3 sick days over a 15 year period. This can be verified with my employment references.

* I can think on my feet, and do a million things at once...with a smile.

I hope that I have piqued your interest enough to call me for an interview.

Blah blah....letter closing.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-28-10 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
9. God no...
Edited on Wed Apr-28-10 11:09 AM by redqueen
I would do a little research on the company, mention how your background ties in with the position you want & why you want to work there.

And... what HopeHoops said, basically. No need to retype it. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Wed May 01st 2024, 08:50 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC