Yay! Nurses Week is finally over!

[tavalon]

Yes, I'm a nurse and I hate Nurses Week. Would that be because I'm a burnt out nurse? Actually, no, not really. Well, except for during Nurses Week, for that is the week set aside for our managers to recognize us as valuable people rather than staffing problems to be fixed. Sounds, reasonable, right? Yeah, no, not so much. For these managers always seem to decide that we, their loyal nurses are a cross between angels, Florence Nightingale, and a Precious Moments figurine - in other words, they think we're six and that we will just love the useless Hallmark tchotchkes they wish to bestow upon us. Our expected role is to be thankful for such, um, fake adoration. Twenty years I've suffered through Nurses Week and of those twenty gifts in lieu of a bonus, none am I even able to bring back to my memory. They weren't memorable.

This year's little cutesy gift would have gone the way of all the others had it not been for the stellar wit of my husband. But I get ahead of myself.Let us take a tour of the little gifty, with all of it's unintentional denigration. The items are wrapped in a pink little cloth bag, and include such unusual items as a crayon, a cotton ball, two pennies (yes, pennies). But of course, such a heartfelt gift wouldn't be complete without a cute little saying:

Bandage: To mend hurt feelings
Crayon: To color everyday cheerful and bright
Lifesaver: Because you are always there
Starburst: An added burst of energy for those double shifts
Fireball: For when you're feeling burnt out
Cottonball: To help soften disappointments
2 Pennies: So you'll always have the "CENTS" to know how important you are

The only blessing I can think of is that she left these in the break room for us to pick up so I didn't have to pretend to be anything but wryly amused. But I thought, why keep this all to myself. I will take it home to my family so they can see how much my manager values me. So, I pour it out in front of hubby and as he gets a quizzical look on his face, I tell him to read the note and it will all make sense. After we finish laughing, he says, "But, hon, it's missing something." "Really?", I say. "Yeah, it needs a stamp for when you go postal."

[Wapsie B]

1. All I can say is just think of how those in "invisible" departments like respiratory or lab

are treated. At the very least you're part of a department with a fair amount of political clout. When Nurses have grievances people will listen. Lab Techs, Sleep Techs barely get the time of day.

[tavalon]

2. I totally agree with you on that

We all act pretty collegial with one another and all share a certain disdain for the management who have disdain for all of us except during Nurses Week!

[Wapsie B]

3. Disdain for the management ..........music to my ears!

As my years in healthcare go on that disdain has only increased. Thank you for what you do!

[mitchum]

4. I received that same bag of swag as a "teacher's magic amulet collection"

[ismnotwasm]

5. I always loudly request my $1000.00 bonus check

Haven't see one yet. We were offered a carry-all lunch bag with the name of the hospital on it. They did have pleasant little lunches during the week, so they do try.

I tell people if you enjoyed untying knots as a kid, you'll probably like being a nurse. That one is hard to explain.

Right now, they've implemented a "Patient Care Model" which is more work and less time in which to do it and was sold as a patient safety model. I refuse, absolutely refuse to be an apologist for this travesty. So I'm enjoying myself, as one can do when you call bullshit on bullshit (politely, using a bit of my own bullshit and dazzle) and nobody can tell you you're wrong.

[tavalon]

12. Spoken like an actual nurse, rather than a Precious Moments figurine

Yeah, I keep waiting for that bonus too (not!). Patients almost always get that we are their actual caregivers and they are grateful in small and large ways. If Nurses Week was really about the patients celebrating nurses, it would be nice but redundant. That isn't what it's about and that's why it sticks in my craw. If my managers treated me (and my fellow hospital workers) with something more akin to respect the rest of the year, this wouldn't seem so hypocritical and I might not suffer from a weeks worth of annoyance. Luckily my hospital can't be bothered to do any of those extra things so I only have to put up with the silly gifts, this year being especially silly.

Don't you hate when they roll out some new "idea" which actually means less time with your patients and call it a "patient safety measure"? People often ask me why I don't work days now that I have the seniority to. It's funny, I have no difficulty keeping my cool with difficult, angry and frustrated patients - they're sick and they're appropriately stressed, but when I'm around managers and they start spouting their manager speak, I have the hardest time keeping my mouth shut about what an asinine idea their new buzzword laden idea really is.

Untying knots! Exceptional! I would add, untying knots using creativity, intelligence and the occasional use of unsanctioned but perfectly reasonable methods. I don't know if you've seen any of Nurse Jackie but while there are many things I hate about that show, they do show certain aspects of nursing better than I've ever seen.

[ismnotwasm]

16. I haven't watched Nurse Jackie

Although I weakening. I worked long term care for quite a while and witnessed the results of several nurse 'diverters' so the drug use part put me off. But I hear it's great, so I think I will start watching it.

And yes I hate the ridiculous way they promote "new ideas" which adds up to stressed out nurses and increased patient complaints. They used 'studies' for this particular care model, with more NAC's trained to be 'patient care technicians' which means they may or may not have time to do your blood sugars for you, provided it's not an unstable patient on an insulin drip--or just an unstable patient; empty drains for you, provided they themselves aren't so busy they don't quite get to it, or the drains need IV replacement; take all vital signs for you, which is great as long as you don't check the computer and find a BP of 78/40 charted without anyone notifying you. We have great PCT's but all of the above and more happens and will continue to happen. Plus, we do on-unit dialysis, both acute and outpatient. Obviously, I can go on and on, as can we all.

So, I'm looking up my own damn studies. I told my nurse manager from the studies I find if we staff the RN to pt ratio is any lower it increases deaths. We won't talk about injuries-- straight to dead.

When I'm charge I staff as liberally as the numbers can stretch. I'm a team player, sure. I cut my teeth in a nursing home. I know how to play, but I do try to fight back. Politely. Managers love polite. I'm gritting my teeth a lot as well.

[rainbow4321]

6. Gross, prepackaged gross cookies were our little treats

Along with them not even bothering to think how many in the 9,000 employees might be vegetarians when they sent prepacked-in-styrofoam-containers barbeque sandwich with a bag of chips and a cookie (advertised ahead of time with "buy your own drink"). I only started vegetarianism several months ago but the 9,000 employees are a very, very diverse group from every culture around the world so it got me thinking could they not have served up something where the "main" part of the meal is not meat? Granted they did get pizza delivered to everyone's unit a few days before BBQ deal but it just showed how little thought they put into the diverse population. Especially stupid since the beginning of the week they had a fair that was to show how diverse we are and let employees set up booths representing their cultures.
We didn't have an official Nurses Week, they didn't even utter the word Nurse, it was a no-no word for the past week. Instead, they turned it into a "celebration" of employees.

By the end of the week, everyone was mumbling "could they have kept the money for the stale cookie, the BBQ, the pizza, and the lunch cooler bags and just given us all a small hourly raise with the money?". Take the money spent and divvy it up by 9,000?

[tavalon]

13. That would never occur to them

But then, when have you noticed a hospital administration that had a lick of sense?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

7. Lunch from Guess Where ....

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
wait for it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Olive Garden!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Captain Hilts]

8. Kind of like International Women's Day. 364 are for men and one day & a ratty bouquet make it even.

[tavalon]

14. Or International Brotherhood Week

I love Tom Lehrer. Here's the lyrics to that fine song: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/National-Brotherhood-Week-lyrics-Tom-Lehrer/625DBDA1F04F231148256A7D0025A2FC

[Captain Hilts]

17. I'd never heard this - thanks!

[marzipanni]

9. .

;)

[Flying Dream Blues]

10. wow...

That package seems full of subtle chastisement to me. Sort of a list of "what not to do" because you're SO appreciated. Don't have your feelings hurt, don't get burnt out, don't be disappointed. Sheesh. Maybe it's just me, because I hate all those posters that are trying to tell you what to do in the guise of being morale boosters. You know, like
"ACHIEVE" with the rowing team all pulling together, etc. Bleccch. But let me just say, many a kind, good nurse has made my day at some of the lowest points in my life, so here's to you!
:toast:

[tavalon]

15. Thank you!

The patients always get it, the managers never seem to.

[MicaelS]

11. It is sooooo much cheaper to buy a bunch of crap

Rather than hire enough human beings to actually do the job, doncha know? :sarcasm:

The only thing worse than that is some title bump that means more responsibilities with no increase in pay.

[Texasgal]

18. We were not even recognized...

Surgical nurses are all about bringing the money in...:(

[Hawkeye-X]

19. I'm grateful for our nurses this week, especially our post-op nurse

She had my wife under her watch, and would come in and wake her up if her pulsometer was under 90.

She had gallbladder surgery and is in uncomfortable pain.