Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths

[Blue_Tires]

SCHAUMBURG, IL—In an ultimately futile act some have described as courageous and others have called a mere postponing of the inevitable, existentialist firefighter James Farber delayed three deaths Monday.
"I'm no hero," Farber said after rescuing the family from a house fire on the 2500 block of West Thacker Street, and prolonging for the time being their slow march toward oblivion. "Like any other man, I am thrown into this world, alone and terrified, to play a meaningless role in an empty life. In my case, that role happens to involve charging through towering blazes to pull helpless individuals from a sea of flames before they suffocate or are burnt alive."
Added Farber, "That hardly makes me a paragon of virtue."
At 2:30 a.m. Monday, the alarm sounded at Farber's station house, causing the despondent firefighter to emerge from a deep malaise and, though still absorbed by the sense of dread that has preoccupied him since youth, respond promptly to the request for assistance at the home of Stanley and Joyce Morgenstern.
According to department officials, Farber, a 13-year veteran of Ladder Company 8, climbed through a kitchen window and, despite carrying with him a heavy burden of alienation, managed to see all three members of the family to safety.
"He came out the front door with a body slung over each shoulder, and seconds later there was this big fireball and beams started falling and the whole thing caved in," neighbor Judy Neal said. "When it was all over, he just sort of stood there emotionless and silent, as if nothing had happened at all."
"I think I even saw him shrug," she added.
While acknowledging that the Morgenstern family no longer has a home, authorities said it really makes no sense to bemoan this fact, as things like this happen every day, and it's no use trying to pretend that, in and of itself, existence is anything but a provisional circumstance over which we exert limited control.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/existentialist-firefighter-delays-3-deaths,17500/

[kayakjohnny]

1. That is funny!

Thanks for it Blue_Tires.

:toast: