If you had to make a living based on your looks, would you be able to do so?

[Ikonoklast]

I'm fairly certain I would easily



















...starve to death in a very short time.

[HipChick]

1. yes...I still get carded...

and they say"Oh, I don't look that old"..

[Ikonoklast]

9. Yeah, that happens to me, too.

Just to verify that I qualify for the senior discount.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Sure. I could be the "Before" model for just about any makeup,

plastic surgery, etc.

[Ikonoklast]

7. I dunno, I've seen some hideous 'after' pics.

Some of the 'before' pics were actually attractive.

[nolabear]

3. Depends on what they wanted me to look at.

I can spot fires and I do a pretty good come hither.

[Ikonoklast]

10. So, lemme get this straight...

You lure people to their death in a fire?

[auntAgonist]

4. hell no.

[Ikonoklast]

12. All the pretty girls say that.

I never believe them.

[Inchworm]

5. Civil War re-enactor

:smoke:

[Ikonoklast]

13. Army Of The Potomac, 33rd Stoner Division??

I heard they were late for everything, and ate up all the corn fritters.

[Blue-Jay]

6. I'm not a CHUD, but I doubt anyone would hire me to be pretty.

[Ikonoklast]

15. Ah, a character actor.

A Paul Giamatti type, perhaps?

[Blue-Jay]

23. Oh, I'm not as CHUD-like as Giamatti.

(by my own estimation, 'natch.)

[Ikonoklast]

31. You do yourself a disservice, I'm sure.

You're every bit as CHUD-like as Giamatti.









Oh, wait, you mean you're better looking than he is.

Got it.

[hobbit709]

8. Sure

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Ikonoklast]

16. Go ahead, rub it in.

The rest of us plain-looking people are jealous.

[Tailormyst]

11. No- I would probably just drop dead in minutes

[Ikonoklast]

17. The flame that burns brightest

seldom lasts.

Like a meteor flashing across the night sky; so beautiful, so fleeting.

[Dr Morbius]

14. Sure. Consider the careers of Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, the elephant man...

...I could always join the circus. People are always willing to pay to be frightened.

[Ikonoklast]

18. Bela Lugosi was cast as a leading man in his native Hungary.

And Boris Karloff looked exactly like the distinguished English actor he actually was.

[HopeHoops]

19. Yeah, probably. If I got parts in movies as a mass-murderer or aging stoner - or both.

[Ikonoklast]

20. Soo, if there was a movie being made about a crazed hippy that killed

people by making them eat Twinkies, Hollywood calls you first?

[HopeHoops]

119. I turned down the last one. I don't like Twinkies and they wouldn't switch to Doritos.

Go figure!

[Richard Steele]

21. I spent a decade doing that once. It wasn't as great as I had expected. nm

[Ikonoklast]

24. Is anything ever as great as one's expectations?

Excepting cold beer, that is.


Nothing is as great as cold beer.

[Richard Steele]

26. Sex with a genuine red-haired woman. Everything you've heard is TRUE!

I've preferred to take my beer at room temperature
ever since.

Not kidding. Not even a little bit.

[Ikonoklast]

32. Never in my life would I believe

a word said by a man that drinks warm beer.



Refrigeration was created to solve that little problem, yanno.

[Richard Steele]

40. Refrigeration was invented by a guy who had a lot of free time...

He had that free time because he DIDN'T
spend his aftenoons finding his way home
after regaining consciouisness in a strange alley
bruised and dizzy from an evening of "mattres mambo"
with a REDHEAD.

I've never invented anything that changed the world like refrigration did,
but I have had sex with a redhead.

I regret NOTHING.

[Ikonoklast]

43. Just because a red-haired Jezebel knocked the sense out of your head

in a session of lusty abandon, doesn't mean that warm beer is a good thing.



The only reason that the British drink warm beer is that Lucas Electrics used to make refrigerators.

(Old biker joke)

[Richard Steele]

60. Knocked? Wrong verb, my friend....very very wrong verb.

:evilgrin:

[Ikonoklast]

62. Beat? Smacked? Pounded?

Give some help here, I'm kinda lost.


Maybe the battering you took affected your memory; if you can't remember how it happened, how am I supposed to know?


I sure hope you pressed charges.

[Richard Steele]

73. Bwahaha! Very nicely done.

Well-responded! :thumbsup:
You hold your own pretty well, for a guy
who has never had any hot naked RedHead relations.


I bet you think all those "Penthouse Letters" are FICTION, don't you?
Yeah, I used to think they were fiction, too. I really did.
But that was a long time ago, in a USA far, far away.

[Ikonoklast]

77. Really sorry to burst your bubble, but since you mentioned it...

I'm the guy that gets paid to write all those letters.



Family business kinda thing, I took over for Mom when she retired.

My dear old mother really knew how to write a dirty letter, lemme tell you.

[Captain Hilts]

36. I guess that's one career option for me based on my looks.....nt

[Ikonoklast]

44. You're looking for employment as a red-haired floozy?

Not how I pictured you, but, whatever floats your boat.

[Captain Hilts]

64. I have to practice the 'floozy' part.

I guess I should start with the shoes...

[Ikonoklast]

65. Foot fetish, eh?

Otherwise, a funny place to start, but what do I know?

[Captain Hilts]

67. I don't think I can be a floozy wearing these:

[Ikonoklast]

68. It's more a state of mind thing, than an appearance thing.

And there's a difference between 'floozy', and, uh, ummm, 'professional'.


If you get my meaning.

[Captain Hilts]

70. Hi there, big boy!

[Ikonoklast]

72. I can see that you will need to pay for lessons.

For many, it comes naturally.



Sadly, in your case, well...I guess you could always apply for a grant.

[nuxvomica]

22. I already do

But then that's the IT business. It's all about looks.

[Ikonoklast]

25. And here I always thought the IT biz was all about smoke and mirrors.

Learn something new every day.

[azmouse]

27. Maybe if Disney was hiring a new mouse...

[Ikonoklast]

29. Well, Mickey is getting a little long in the tooth.

You could 'help him along' towards uh, umm, retirement.

Yeah, retirement. That's the ticket.

[old mark]

28. I would certainly be a lot thinner....maybe this could be a new diet program....nt

[Ikonoklast]

30. Now you're thinking.

Turn that negative into a positive.


Try the new "Too Ugly To Eat" Diet Program! Call for details!

[old mark]

113. Have to get some skinny ugly celebrity to do the ads.....What's Lohan doing after her sentence is up

[nolabear]

33. I once made someone ELSE a lot of money from my looks.

Okay, total True Confession time. LOTS of years ago I lost a ton of weight with Richard Simmons. I actually did some infomercials for him, and a stint on QVC. I didn't get any money but the attention was spectacular. He is, by the way, a really good guy.

[Ikonoklast]

46. I find this completely unbelievable.

Oh, not that you lost weight, and did infomercials and all that, that's pretty cool stuff right there.

That, I believe.





It's what you said about Richard Simmons being 'a really good guy'.

He isn't.

Not even close.




He's The Prince of Darkness.

[nolabear]

51. You know, if I didn't know him, I'd think the same.

Not that I KNOW him know him. I'm not entirely sure anyone does. He's an odd duck, but he was, when I hung out with him, the first to admit that. He also made no bones about the fact that he makes a TON of money from what he does and he's the object of obsession for a lot of people. But I never, never, never knew him to be anything but himself, and what he sells is healthy and realistic, not a quick or cheap or easy way to tackle a hard problem. Richard's just Richard, insta-crying, clownish persona-wearing, and, often, I kid you not, the smartest one in the room. He know exactly what he's doing all the time.

I haven't talked to him in years and note he's finally looking old, and wonder how that's going. I can only wish him the best.

[Ikonoklast]

56. You misunderstood me, I'm afraid.

I wasn't being flippant.


Richard Simmons is Beelzebub, The Lord Of Flies, Ruler Of Hades, The Prince Of Hell, The Fallen Angel, Mephistopheles, Lucifer, The Deciever, Lord Of All Lies...




You get the picture.

Oh, he seems charming to us gullible humans, who are so easily fooled by his appearance.



You were lucky to escape his clutches.

[nolabear]

105. Ohhhhh... well you should have said so.

I thought that contract looked a little all-encompassing. And of course there's this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTxkxG3DF4k

[bikebloke]

34. I have a future in monster movies.

[Ikonoklast]

47. You could always be 'that guy' in the Godzilla movies.

You know, the one that is running away, suddenly stops and turns, screaming, with his hands in front of his face just as that enormous green foot stomps him flat.




Ah, Show Business! Gotta love it.

[bikebloke]

100. I was thinking of the monster.

They'd save a fortune in make-up. ;)

[Ikonoklast]

102. No, they wouldn't, I disagree.

Oops, that didn't come out quite as I thought it would.

[Captain Hilts]

35. No, I could not. nt

[Ikonoklast]

58. Please explain.

There are plenty of people that make a living off their physical appearance that are far from what anyone would consider 'handsome] or 'beautiful', even when cultural differences are taken into consideration.

[hippywife]

37. If they do a remake of The Holy Grail

I could play the part of an ugly troll-looking woman from one of the villages.

[Ikonoklast]

48. That's just make-up, anyway, those parts were all played by men.

Mostly.


But, you would be employed based on your looks, so, I guess that is a 'yes'.






Although you could probably play Zoot, in the remake.


Bad, naughty Zoot.

[yurbud]

38. if Jason Alexander ever needed a stunt double, yes.

[Ikonoklast]

49. I hope Mr. Alexander decides to do an action flick.

That way, when a dangerous scene comes up on screen, and they use a stuntman, I can yell out, "Hey, I know that guy!"

[SoxFan]

39. Not unless Jim Rose is looking for help

[Ikonoklast]

50. Hey, it's work, right?

I suppose there are worse things, like being odd-looking and just walking around and everyone pointing at you for free.


At least those people have worked it into being a paying gig.

[dawg]

41. Who can say yes to a question like that?

Unless you're a model or an exotic dancer (or sideshow freak), it's nearly impossible to make a living just off of your looks. Even good-looking actors need talent and/or connections in order to succeed.

So for me, the answer is no. And, in a way, I'm glad of that.

[Ikonoklast]

97. Some conceited idiot.

Think: Spencer Pratt.

[dawg]

120. Sometimes I think I'd be better off if I were a conceited idiot.

At least I'd have that "confidence" thing going for me. :crazy:

[pink-o]

42. Do they still have carnival side shows?

Cuz I could compete as the World's Tallest Woman, if there were an age group like for Marathon runners... (55 years old and 6'1")

[dawg]

45. Oh, that's not that tall.

There are plenty of ladies that tall.

[pink-o]

54. Well, when I reached that height in 1969, no other human I knew was that tall.

Always been a geeky ectomorph. Maybe the career based on my looks should be starring in a reality show where I go clothes shopping and come out of the fitting rooms for a few good laughs. If they ever bring back Belly Shirts, I have it made :7

[Ikonoklast]

52. You could bill yourself as The World's Tallest Female

Midget.

[pink-o]

55. Hmmm...interesting possibility.

Not sure midget is PC anymore, but if this career pays better than my actual career (not too difficult) you can call me anything you want!

[lunatica]

53. No.

[Ikonoklast]

61. Okay.

[proteus_lives]

57. Hell no.

I'm a goofy-looking bastard.

[Ikonoklast]

59. I'm not sure about his parentage, but Goofy seems to make a decent living

even with his looks.


Of course, you would have to work for Disney, maybe as a stand-in.

No free-lancing.


Copyrights and all that.

[proteus_lives]

63. Disney?

No thanks.

Uncle Goofy can keep it.

I'd keep my soul intact.

[datasuspect]

66. i already do

that's how i inspire confidence.

IRL, people WANT to be around me. then they pay for my products and services.

it's fuck or walk, you gotta have the gift of gab.

a handsome mug never hurts.

[Ikonoklast]

71. How does the nice coffee cup figure into things?

And there was that one time a mug hurt me when I dropped it on my bare foot early one morning.


So there goes that cockamamie theory of yours.

[datasuspect]

124. it's a tough business, sweetcheeks

only the strong survive.

[applegrove]

69. I'm too big to even be a plus sized model. Seriously they are like size 12 or size 14.

At that size I would be almost underweight (I'm big boned).

[Ikonoklast]

74. Those are some pretty big feet for a girl.

I only wear size 11 1/2.



You're talking about shoes, right?

This women's size thing always mystified me.

[applegrove]

75. LOL!

[WCGreen]

76. i was once told that i had a great face for radio....

[Bucky]

78. ... and then they proceeded to hit you in the face with a radio?

I hate it when that happens.

[Ikonoklast]

81. Gary Dee told you that, didn't he?

That would be a true insult, coming from that funny-looking jerk.

[av8rdave]

79. Nope.

[Ikonoklast]

82. False modesty will get you nothing.

Tell the truth.


Rumor has it otherwise.

[av8rdave]

87. Trust me...I tell the truth

I can try to make money with education, false pretenses, etc...but not looks!

[Ikonoklast]

93. OK, but don't lie about those other things, either.

Makes you look a bit silly.


Making money with education, that's a good one!

This is America!

We like 'em stupid!

[av8rdave]

96. Good point

Reminds me of Carlin's famous rant: "they call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."

[Joey Liberal]

80. I'd be in big trouble

But I do workout a lot:)..........

[Ikonoklast]

83. I used to be in big trouble.

Until I met her younger sister, Little Trouble.



Big Trouble was the reason why I worked out, too.

Had to keep up, and all.



Girl sure could work it.

[Joey Liberal]

84. Are either one available now?

LOL

[Ikonoklast]

85. You can have both of them, and good riddance.

I've got a new main squeeze, Bad Attitude.

She's a real sweetheart.

Mean as a rattlesnake, but in a very endearing way.



If you want, I can hook you up with her friend, Loose Morals.

I hear she's lots of fun.

[Joey Liberal]

89. Sounds good to me

Sounds better than my last squeeze, Psycho Boobs.

[wickerwoman]

86. If I got a personal trainer, a personal chef, a personal stylist and shopper

and unlimited money for clothes, make-up, etc. then I might do OK.

[Ikonoklast]

91. I didn't ask what you would do if you won the lottery.

Like no one would do those things if they had the dough.


Everyone 'might do OK' if that was the case.





Sheesh.

[wickerwoman]

111. Er, yes.

I answered your question. I could probably make a living off my looks if I had as much money as Angelina Jolie to spend on them.

Not sure why it's necessary to be insulting to me or to other people on this thread.

[MrScorpio]

88. Not very well.

[Ikonoklast]

94. Ha! You had me for a moment!

That false modesty trick gets me all the time.



There is evidence to the contrary, good sir. The females of The Lounge would beg to differ with you.

[MrScorpio]

99. You are much too kind.

[Ikonoklast]

101. Oh, I've noticed that *they* have noticed.

I can almost hear them sighing over the Intrwebs over your pic.


You know what you're doing, you cheeky devil, you.

[KamaAina]

90. Of course!

Minimum wage out here is around $8/hr. :P

[Ikonoklast]

95. So, you're saying...huh?

That is probably the greatest non-sequitor ever posted on DU.





Me: "How is the weather today?"


KamaAina: "My dog has no nose."

[KamaAina]

123. Actually, my nose has no dog

and I'm saying that my looks probably merit about eight bucks an hour. :-)

[WinkyDink]

92. I'd be DOING it, if that were true! :-)

[Ikonoklast]

98. Truth is Beauty; Beauty, Truth.

More ten-cent aphorisms to follow.


Keats always was pedantic.

[Kablooie]

103. If Barnum was around I might have a shot at it.

[Ikonoklast]

104. Why would you try to shoot Barnum?

Guy steal your wife or something?

Pretty drastic measure, don't you think?

I say talk it out with him first, like two adults.


Violence is never the answer, and I'll smack anyone that disagrees with me on that.

[Kablooie]

109. You're right. Wouldn't do any good to shoot him. He's been dead already for 120 years.

[TorchTheWitch]

106. I do - but realistically, it's not really much to do with looks

Other factors are far more important but without the looks there's no way to even get a foot in the door.

[carlyhippy]

107. 20 years ago, most definitely

today, older and fatter, nope I would not be able to make a living...

[Tobin S.]

114. sorry carly. Posted in the wrong spot.

[Common Sense Party]

108. Hey, if Marty Feldman could, I could as well.

[Ikonoklast]

116. That's the spirit!

What hump?

[Common Sense Party]

122. Walk this way.

[MilesColtrane]

110. Live Scarecrow

[BreweryYardRat]

112. Ahahahah, HELL no.

I'm not hideous, but I'm not handsome enough to be a male model. Not by a long shot.

[Tobin S.]

115. If I could I'd be doing it :)

Reminds me of a time me and a couple of buddies were sitting around watching porn. One buddy says to me, "What would you do if you had one like that, Tobe?" I replied, "I'd be in the movies." :D

[Chan790]

117. I have...

back when I wasn't balding and fat.

I have one of those faces that looks virile: big grin, wide strong chin, good cheekbones, slate-blue/grey eyes and hair that ranges from light brown to dirty blonde depending on how much sun I've gotten recently. Also, I'm 30 and one of my favorite games is "How old do you think I am?" Consensus answer is about 23-25 and has been since I was 17. I seem to have stopped aging right as I looked old enough to drink; a break of luck.

If I can find a picture in which I'm not hungover or sloppy, picture forthcoming.

[Heidi]

118. Definitely, no. There are so many younger and prettier women around

that it's strategically wiser for me compete with my character and abilities. :hi:

[nickinSTL]

121. heh. only if someone's in the market

for a short, hairy, overweight, balding guy :evilgrin:

[lillypaddle]

125. Well, not NOW, goddammit!

but 30 years ago? nah, probably not then either.