PETOL - People for the Ethical Treatment of Oompa Loompas

[underpants]

At first he presents himself as God's gift to the Oompa Loompa people, giving them the opportunity to escape their war-ravaged and overly dangerous homeland for "greener pastures". Little did the Oompa Loompas realize that in Wonka talk, "greener pastures" translates directly into "slave labor". William Wonka had the Oompa Loompas' collective testicles in a vice grip.

Charlie, a full grown adult, still carried with him the horrible, violent memories of the factory. The ever-lasting gobstopper peaked my interest, so I decided to examine the facts further...and discovered the terrible, terrible truth about the product.



In truth, the "ever-lasting gobstopper" wasn't candy. It was, in fact, a MIND CONTROLLING IMPLANT. Wonka planned to use the brain implant, dubbed the OLC Unit, to further bend the Oompa Loompas to his will and ensure their loyalty. It should have been obvious to us all along. I mean, honestly...we know that Wonka is evil, so there's no way he would have sympathy for all the impoverished candy consumers of the world. So scratch the theory that this "gobstopper" was a means of providing candy to those who could not afford to buy one right after another. Since we know he's pure evil, from a business standpoint the gobstopper would not be economically effecient or beneficial. Why create a product where demand is almost non-existant after the initial purchase? The "ever-lasting gobstopper" was a cover for the mind controlling device that Wonka had created.

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