Help! I'm a new Dad and I need parenting advice (and I'm sleep deprived)

[NightWatcher]

Little Izzy's 9 days old today and I need all the advice I can get. So far, I've got:


Never put them in the dishwasher because it strips them of their oils and then you'll have to re-season them with lard.

and

When the bag of diapers says 8-12 pounds that's really all they can hold and therefore need to be changed every few days.


What else am I missing?

[Throckmorton]

1. Sleep in shifts

and never ask your spouse to change the baby, without a crash helmet on at least (you, not the baby or the spouse).

[nolabear]

2. Pay careful attention to what she's like at age two.

She will be exactly the same when she's a teenager but she'll have a sex drive and access to the car.

[betharina]

37. oh shit...nt

[Throd]

3. Newborns NEVER listen!

They are rude.

[siligut]

4. Talk to your MD, get a prescription for some Ambien

Get the 10 mg tabs, cut them in half and crush that into her milk, she will sleep like a baby .:evilgrin: :P

[seabeyond]

6. bah hahaha. thinking ya ya ya parent out and not hear baby

but noooooooo,

knock the baby out

that is one way to do it

[seabeyond]

5. be gentle on self, gentle on wife, all the little stuff goes to the wayside

love that baby.....

cheers

walking zombie for a while, that is true

[shanti]

7. say to yourself, "this too shall pass"

and you will survive! ;-) because, really, it does.

[Kali]

8. ha!

some good ones! you arent sleep deprived, you still have a sense of humor - when that goes you are getting there.

don't worry about anything - the house, visitors, well-meaning busybodies. Just sleep when baby does.


DO NOT LOOK AT SLEEPING BABY AND THINK "NOW I CAN GET X DONE" - GO TO SLEEP YOURSELF!!!


trust me

[vanlassie]

35. +1,000,000

[Ptah]

9. I know it is a very busy time, but I suggest a photo every week.

[Lyric]

10. The New Dad Survival Guide

7. Don't lie on your back and hold the baby above your head facing you. They puke. It's the infant equivalent of the Funny Home Video guy pitching to the kid with the baseball bat and getting squared in the pills. All guys seem to like lying on their backs, hold the baby in the air and fly them over their face. Babies LOVE this and this joy often sends a surge of yak right into your who's-daddy's-airplane-open-mouth. They give no warning. They are vomit grenades.

MORE!: http://pregnantchicken.squarespace.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/6/7/new-dad-survival-guide-8-essential-tips.html

:rofl:

[Lars39]

11. As Ptah suggested, a photo every week, but also a pic of mum and dad, too.

Kids love to see what their parents look like during that time period. Also pictures of the grands holding them, etc. :)

[alphafemale]

12. The diaper that says "up to 12 lbs" is referring to the baby not the weight of poo it can hold.

:hide:

[applegrove]

13. You have another three weeks until they learn to smile. Them smiling will recharge your

batteries like nothing you've ever felt before. You'll still be sleep deprived but you will be all giddy about it.

[Arugula Latte]

15. Boy, ain't that the truth!

That first smile lifted me like nothing else. I felt sort of "accepted," like, wow, the little fella really likes me! :loveya:

[alphafemale]

14. In serious though. Dr Suess.

There's something about maybe the rhythm of it that always seemed to sooth mine at least a little.

The same story every night at this age. You'll probably notice a difference within a week or two.

[givemebackmycountry]

16. It's gonna get worse...

I have two guys that work for me, that have infants at home.
These guys get to go to work.
They get to interact with other adult people, and they get to have some laughs.

When they get home, they discover the wife resents their ability to leave the house, and go to work.

I love it.
It's great fun for me.

[kimi]

17. As someone else said

you still have a sense of humor. That's crucial in this time, you will need it. In times to come, this will be a fading memory, and you'll chuckle about it. Really.

I've raised 5 boys. The first years can be brutal, yeah. But the rewards are beyond awesome.

Advice? Swaddling helped mine settle, and I was an OB nurse, and noticed that it soothed babies in the nursery as well. Keep em fed, warm, and dry, was my motto. Hold often, get a rocking chair, or baby swing. Soft music. Talk or sing low, often. Baby slings, the ones that hold the kid in front, can be helpful.

And sleep! As someone else said, the instinct is to try to catch up on stuff when the baby is finally asleep. NO! That's the time to catch up on YOUR sleep.

Oh, and spend time with your spouse, without the baby around - it sounds like such a little thing, but believe me, it makes one heckuva difference.

Good luck. You have the best years of your life ahead. :)

[Manifestor_of_Light]

20. I agree with this poster.

I did not know anything about kids when I brought my one home. I had never changed a diaper before.

Keep 'em fed, warm and dry. Excelllent advice. They are a ton of work and a great joy. I wouldn't trade my now grownup Baby Girl for a million bucks.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

18. Sleep with the kid for the psychological security.

Lots of people think sleeping with your infant is bad. I disagree.

Mom, at least, needs to sleep with the baby.
I breastfed my kid for a long time and we all got lots more sleep with my being able to instantly put the baby at the breast in the middle of the night.


I don't know if mom is doing breast or formula, or if you have to fix bottles, but anyway, you can put the kid in a crib later.
I can't tell you when that will be.

[blueamy66]

19. use a condom...

wait, use 2

[krispos42]

21. Diaper rash can easily be removed with sandpaper.

Use at least 220 grit to avoid ruining the finish of you kid's skin, and don't use a belt sander, as it will gouge. Use only an orbital.

[Inchworm]

22. Let em run

no harm ;)

[XemaSab]

23. Advice I heard a mom of 5 give to a new mom:

Don't try to be quiet when the baby is sleeping. Put the baby in the sling and vacuum or mow the lawn.

Get the little booger used to sleeping when there's a racket and that way you don't have to walk around on tiptoes for years.

[HardWorkingDem]

24. Seriously, after four children, here's what I learned...

Enjoy newborns every day; they grow up so fast.

Take plenty of pictures and video (also, if you have more, be aware it is common to put the cameras down more and more with more children - you tell yourself that you have all ready seen one child cutely sleep in a swing and it's not as cute anymore - but later, having those images of your children and being able to see their progression is desirable).

As for diaper rash - one of the best kept secrets is AIR. Plenty of air. Desitin is great, too, but at some point a baby is likely to get diaper rash and letting a baby's bottom air out and dry will quickly help out the rash.

Baby's cry for just a few things - hungry and wet diaper. And if you feel you have good instincts, follow your instincts. Figure out what your baby likes and dislikes - not every "expert" can tell you for certain all the time about your baby.


Oh, be sure to burp well, too. One of the biggest causes of projectile spit ups is not burping well.

The little chairs that vibrate are wonderful, too.

Don't be afraid to swaddle your baby, too. Newborns are recently from a cramped, small area and swaddling them properly will stop them from jerking awake and some say remind them of the womb.

Finding a great pediatrician is also a tremendous help. Be choosy. Ask friends who they like and don't settle on one for the wrong reasons.

Be careful about sleeping with your newborn in the same bed.

And lastly, when you feel your self sleep deprived and possibly losing your cool, take a deep breath and find a way to give yourself some time.

Best wishes and enjoy your newborn!

[MilesColtrane]

25. Begin indoctrinating her.

Use the phrase, "Ask your mother" around her early and often.

[progressoid]

26. Velcro!

Comes in handy a lot.

[LynneSin]

27. Nyquil in their juice cup will do wonders for that sleep issue you have

:D

[Monique1]

28. I am a grandma

my suggestion you have an infant swing. My grand daughter had colic and the infant time swing was a positive, she loved it. My daughter and SO had it near the TV - she would watch hockey on TV and it would put her to sleep. She would cry a little at the music that is attached but oh how she loved the hockey. Her daddy is a hockey player.

[surrealAmerican]

29. Listen to your child.

Babies are not all the same. Some go right to sleep when they're in their car seat; others will scream the whole time. Some kids love those baby swings; some hate them. If your baby clearly doesn't like something, it doesn't matter if most babies like it: you still won't be able to make them do it.

[davsand]

30. That first few weeks are like living in a Dali painting.

It is one walking hallucination because you are so freaking tired...

I think my biggest (and most serious, really) advice is do not let anybody guilt you about how you deal with your kid. As long as you and the baby are good with it, then it is probably ok. They are a hell of a lot tougher than we think they are, and everybody and their little dog has some half baked idea of how you are supposed to raise YOUR child.

Some of it you have already seen for yourselves. The nursing nazis will tell you that the kid has GOT to be nursed (from the boob only, mind you...) in the approved position for exactly ten years, and the birth nazis will tell you that you are all some kind of failure if the kid was not squeezed out with maximum pain for all. No drugs, no foods other than natural ones, and no assistance--natural all the way. You are a couple weeks into it already, now, and you know up close and personal that if that baby is nursing it works fine no matter what position mom and baby are in, and if that kid is eating out of a bottle it is not a death sentence. You know by now that if mom got a spinal, that baby is doing just fine and mom was probably a lot happier with the process. If mom went natural, then good for her, and good for your baby.

We all have an abundance of advice for new parents, but the bottom line is that this is YOUR kid, and you guys know better than anybody what is working for you all. If the kid is thriving then you are probably doing it right. Peace to you, this parenthood thing is creepy as hell, and it is exactly like computer work--third party documentation is not usually worth a shit.



Laura


PS, in my opinion you are doing it exactly right because you are still able to laugh. That sense of humor may be the one thing that keeps you all alive some days. If you are still laughing it means you probably are not homicidal yet.

:evilgrin:

[EFerrari]

31. Don't leave your wallet out.

[Lilyhoney]

32. Pass this along to the Mom.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Mompetition#p/u

You can watch the short videos as well to gain a perspective of what Mom will go through over the next few years.

As a new Mom, I truly enjoy the real yet exaggerated scenarios presented in the videos.

I am typing this as my 10 month old is dream-feeding on me, kicked back in the recliner.

Enjoy your little one!!!


Lilyhoney

[dixiegrrrrl]

33. "Nursing mothers cannot get pg" is a LIE.

That is all.

[LiberalEsto]

34. If he won't sleep, take him for a short car ride

My late mother-in-law, who raised 8 kids, said a car ride around the block usually got the most wakeful baby right to sleep. We found it fairly helpful.

[vanlassie]

36. Here, this should help.

[Old Troop]

38. Could you explain a little more about that dishwasher thing?? It

may explain a lot about the condition of my now adult children.

[lunatica]

39. These are the good ol days so relax. It gets worse

[ThomWV]

40. About poking them with forks

If you get a wet one you have to poke it with a fork before putting it in the microwave to dry it. If you don't they'll explode.

[retread]

41. Car rides are wonderful ways to put a baby to sleep. Problem was always

getting back into house and bed.

[txwhitedove]

42. Be good to yourself, be gentle with baby but don't worry too much cause

they actually bounce pretty good.


;-)