Okay, I own a thermonuclear device. NOW what?

[ohiosmith]

[Ptah]

1. Please be careful out there.

[Dr. Strange]

2. Step 1: Get your g-string on and start waxing.

No, wait, other way around.

[sarge43]

3. Get a rad badge

Don't let a kid take it to school for show and tell.

Counters always stopping at 001 only happens in movies.

Don't start pressing buttons to see "what this one does".

Not a good idea to use it as a night light.

Nukes can have a ZTD (zone of total destruction) anywhere from a half mile to two miles. So if you're planning to use it as a garden center piece, have a really, really big yard.

[charlie and algernon]

4. Time to play Global Thermonuclear War?

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. There's only one obvious answer - take out as much of Illinois as you can.

[Bucky]

26. Is there any reason why we need TWO Dakotas?

[TheCentepedeShoes]

6. I live near some

is that Teller?
Met him ages ago, kinda look like

[bluesbassman]

7. No, that's Penn. This is Teller.

:)

[struggle4progress]

8. What operating system do you use? I've heard bad things about Windows with thermonuclear devices

[MilesColtrane]

9. Make sure you keep it in a Ziploc.

Those things can go bad on you real quick.

[hunter]

10. It would be an awesome centerpiece at Burning Man

http://www.burningman.com

You could wire it to a slot machine. Spin three :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: and set it off.

Anyone can pull the handle.

[Fire Walk With Me]

11. Now you can ask for that raise at work.

[Incitatus]

12. I guess I better go buy some duct tape.

[Duer 157099]

13. Now what? I'll tell you what.

Use it to generate a whole thread full of DUzy's, that's what. :thumbsup:

[MilesColtrane]

14. At last! Now we can kill the thread that never dies!

Harsh?

Perhaps.

But, it's the only way.

[Call Me Wesley]

15. Talk to it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjGRySVyTDk

[derby378]

16. This video contains content from Content Lizenz Agentur...

...who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

D'ya suppose the nuke got to it first?

[Call Me Wesley]

17. Really?

I thought it's only outside the US where youtube videos are censored ... It's the scene from 'Dark Star' where they talk to the bomb to not explode.

[derby378]

18. I figured a little phenomenology was being used

Has a tendency to backfire, though. :evilgrin:

[Call Me Wesley]

20. And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness.

And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9-Niv2Xh7w&feature=related

More Husserl and Heidegger, and the bomb itself might have disarmed, crawled into the storage place and wept ... :)

[derby378]

21. You had to mention Heidegger, didn't you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQycQ8DABvc

[Call Me Wesley]

22. LOL!

Well, yes ... At least I didn't bring Wittgenstein into it. Or Hegel, but he's busy arguing.

Not to bring Beckenbauer into it ... :hide:

[derby378]

23. Heee!

[freshwest]

24. Thanks, I never saw that before!

:rofl:

[dixiegrrrrl]

19. Yell "Rapture!!!!" and toss it at your fundie neighbors.?

[freshwest]

25. You be wicked! LOL!

[dixiegrrrrl]

31. I be surrounded by fundies.

Very polite ones, tho.
All that squeaky clean gets on one's nerves after a fashion.

[backwoodsbob]

27. are you sure it's a nucular device?

people have been spam selling fake nucular devices lately..they are just dirty bombs

[dems_rightnow]

28. The 4th of July

It's going to be so awesome in your neighborhood. And surrounding counties.

[Old Troop]

29. You just got yours? Most of us got ours last October.

[Gormy Cuss]

30. Flush. Twice. n/t

[jmowreader]

32. Now you have a decision to make

Pull the pin and stick it under either Rick Scott, Scott Walker or Chris Christie's desk.