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Suggest ways that the final two films of the "Atlas Shrugged" trilogy could be improved.

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Chan790 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-11 11:26 PM
Original message
Suggest ways that the final two films of the "Atlas Shrugged" trilogy could be improved.
Apparently, the first installment of Atlas Shrugged was released in a limited release on April 15 and was (quite beyond the awful source material) quite very bad. In the spirit of helpfulness, I feel that it is the place of the DU Lounge to make suggestions on how the final two films could be improved. Below are my suggestions.

1.)Addition of compelling new characters not in the book. It is quite true that to have a successful summer blockbuster release now, your movie must contain at-least one character who appeals to children and offers promotional tie-in opportunities. Atlas Shrugged simply does not offer such a character...until now. Meet Jar Jar Galt, John Galt's idiot half-brother: He's cute, he's cuddly, he's filled with catch phrases like "Isa love I"

2.) Cameos Nothing ropes an audience in like an unexpected film cameo. Atlas offers many such opportunities with its' large cast of characters. Imagine Newt Gingrich in a walk-on as "That Asshole" and Paul Ryan as "That other asshole". We could even squeeze in Mitt Romney as "A different asshole" and Sarah Palin as "That asshole's annoying wife." Instant attention-grabber.

3.) More action Let's be honest, the book...kinda one hell of a snoozer. Nothing happens, then nothing happens, then some douchenozzle gives a 115pg. speech. Let's add something to keep the audience awake. Something like 2 minutes into his speech, a laser bullet screams through the air and rends John Galt's head from his neck! Oh no, the alien invasion has begun. Oh oh fucking no! They've got time machines and they've brought the entire Mongol horde with them. Cut to a shot of two of the Khan's men manhandling Dagny Taggert. Now, with a cry of "One for all and every man for himself" a counter assault by the Objectivist Marines: they're shoving each other into the paths of the enemy fire to save their own skins! Oh, how glorious. Suddenly, a Bollywood dance number breaks out. Then, a dance-off between Rearden and Genghis for the fate of the planet! Now, nude ballet dancers (covering the entirety of the gender identity spectrum, full frontal). We close by breaking the 4th wall as everybody stops suddenly and turns in silence to face the camera with Jazz Hands! Tell me that's not action-filled enough for you...I can totally add CGI orcs and a narration voiceover by James Earl Jones.

4.) An experienced hand in the director's chair One of the main criticisms of Atlas, Part I is that the production values are outright terrible. The continuity is off, the cinematography seems more interested in the rented furniture than the characters, the actors seem to be mailing it in and they seem to have done the staging on the cheap; every scene, setting looks the same, they clearly rented one limo, etc. A more experienced crew is the only solution to these sorts of problems and proper crew begins in the director's chair. Hiring an experienced director like Uwe Boll or M. Night Shyamalan used to getting the most out of crap and still managing to make a crappy film that would appeal to objectivists and assorted other idiots would be a great fit. Boll brings the added benefit of being able to write Nazi Zombies into anything...that would totally up the action in one fell swoop.

So how about you, how would you improve the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged? (Parts 2 & 3)
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-11 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. Hand it over to George Lucas?
It couldn't make it worse...
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Incitatus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-11 11:31 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Perhaps Tarantino could spice it up a bit.
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-11 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. But he wouldn't recast Jar Jar as John Galt...
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cemaphonic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-11 11:42 PM
Response to Original message
4. Make "Sewer, Gas & Electric" instead
Entertaining and fun deconstruction of Randian themes Plus, one of the characters is a holographic simulacrum of Ayn Rand herself that is completely dependent on a bunch of liberals, and is constantly seething with indignation as a result (and regularly called out on her hypocrisy). It's kinda like the Illuminatus trilogy, only with better writing and less acid-casualty weirdness, although it is still plenty weird.

Here's the description from Amazon:
High above Manhattan android and human steelworkers are constructing a new Tower of Babel for billionaire Harry Gant, as a monument to humanity's power to dream. In the festering sewers below a darker game is afoot: a Wall Street takeover artist has been murdered, and Gant's crusading ex-wife, Joan Fine, has been hired to find out why. The year is 2023, and Ayn Rand has been resurrected and bottled in a hurricane lamp to serve as Joan's assistant; an eco-terrorist named Philo Dufrense travels in a pink-and-green submarine designed by Howard Hughes; a Volkswagen Beetle is possessed by the spirit of Abbie Hoffman; Meisterbrau, a mutant great white shark, is running loose in the sewers beneath Times Square; and a one-armed 181-year-old Civil War veteran joins Joan and Ayn in their quest for the truth. All of whom, and many more besides, are caught up in a vast conspiracy involving Walt Disney, J. Edgar Hoover, and a mob of homicidal robots.
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-11 11:46 PM
Response to Original message
5. The underlying concept of Atlas Shrugged is great! Love it to bits! Just gotta make
a few small changes to turn it into a blockbuster!

Part II should emphasize the proletarian point of view: their communitarian and altruistic idealism, their willingness to love and sacrifice, their shitty working conditions. Then toss in a revolution and add a beautiful feisty union-maid/earth-goddess type to lead it
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chollybocker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 01:39 AM
Response to Original message
6. Two words: Moar Mothra.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 03:22 AM
Response to Original message
7. Dagny and Galt go to hook up
And... HOLY SHIT!

Crying Game redux!
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Paradoxical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 03:41 AM
Response to Original message
8. John Galt is hit and killed by a train. The other movies are about space travel.
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 05:07 AM
Response to Original message
9. Replace the footage with 2 hours of a test pattern.
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wickerwoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 05:43 AM
Response to Original message
10. Hannibal Lecter shows up and takes objectivism to it's natural conclusion.
Then a cut scene of bunnies getting busy.
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LeftinOH Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 07:17 AM
Response to Original message
11. Part 2: Zombie apocalypse breaks out, people learn that they have to work together for survival;
Part 3: People fail to work together, each preferring the Ayn Randian view of fending for themselves.. humanity is finally exterminated.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 07:54 AM
Response to Original message
12. Burn them. nt
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eppur_se_muova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 07:53 PM
Response to Reply #12
23. GMTA! nt
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CBGLuthier Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 09:04 AM
Response to Original message
13. Make it a live action anime, dress Dagny as Sailor Moon, Then have Tom Hanks play all
Edited on Thu Apr-21-11 09:05 AM by CBGLuthier
three of her lovers, kind of like a reverse Joe vs. the Volcano.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 09:43 AM
Response to Original message
14. Have George Lucas write the scripts.
Has to be better than Part 1.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 11:00 AM
Response to Original message
15. In the first scene Mao Tse Tung comes back to life
and mows everyone down Jackie Chan style.
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PVnRT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
16. Two words: donkey show
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
17. How about not filming them
Could only be an improvement
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nolabear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
18. Muppets. Definitely muppets.
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geardaddy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 02:15 PM
Response to Original message
19. Cast Tyler Perry playing Madea as Dagny Taggert
And Tracy Morgan as John Galt
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
20. Replace most of the dialogue with Neil Peart drum solos
He likes Ayn Rand he would be willing to help out I bet! :rofl:
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meegbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 02:45 PM
Response to Original message
21. Car chases, explosions, shots of large female breasts ...
and a hip, mod, now, in, with-it soundtrack.

And a uncredited cameo by a shirtless David Hasselhoff.
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geardaddy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 02:59 PM
Response to Original message
22. Have Pixar make 'em.
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lifesbeautifulmagic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-21-11 07:56 PM
Response to Original message
24. 3-D!
and perhaps, midgets. Maybe some slow mo bullets and sweat drops flying about.

other than that, I got nothing.
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