Please try not to feel like a fool, because YOU ARE NOT!!!
You have a good heart with good intentions which is probably why YOU were appointed the Executor!
Here is a link which you may want to try:
http://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/can-my-sister-executor-of--father-s-estate--bypass-151386.htmlThough the topic doesn't address your concern, perhaps you can do a free search there to find out where you (and your other brother who is in declining health) might stand legally.
At least, it might be a good starting point.
It maybe that the monies already spent would have to be paid back to the estate if there are clear indications of any wrong-doing on BOTH your younger brothers' part and maybe even this particular probate attorney as well.
http://www.lawyerratingz.com/ShowThingCats.jspI've never used the link above personally, but I have used something similar: vimo.com to research a questionable physician and found his license to have been revoked in 2 other states!
It maybe that you might want to make a decision right now on just how much time, money and effort you are willing to invest beforehand in this situation and then let it go...(knowing full well in your heart of hearts that you did the absolute best you could under these circumstances which seem largely out of your control due to not only the logistics but to the character of your brother - which you have no control over!) Otherwise, it might start to consume you and if you aren't careful - could really take a toll on your own well-being., and I don't think that is something your parents would have wanted either!
However this turns out, please DO take solace in the fact that you can sleep well at night....and in the end - that's worth more than any amount of money that you have not compromised your values or ethics for the sake of greed!!!!
Be well.