Molly Ivins parody, March 2004

[sandnsea]

By Joe Melloy.

Here is the Molly Ivins column next mid-March about her apologizing for making such a silly endorsement:

What was I thinkin'?

AUSTIN, Texas -- A while back last year in December, I got on my high horse and went along for the ride and said Howard Dean was a winner. Well, as you can see, I was wronger than a flatbush armadillo stuck inside Grandma's blueberry pie.

My dear daddy always told me to never squat with your spurs on. I should have listened to him when I wrote that infamous column waving my arms like a crazed banshee like the Dean fans I witnessed at a couple shindigs.

I had gone down that dark road to supporting Dean when I saw him at a seminar in New Hampshire. Face it, this Texan was a little out of place but never felt so alive. I felt so young again. No one knew why we felt so good; we just hated Bush so much that we got caught up in the tornado and forgot to see how the dust will settle later. Howard was meaner than a skilletful of rattlesnakes. And we seemed to like it.

My dear momma told me that when you throw dirt, you lose ground. As days went by, I started seeing flaws and realized Howard has a ten-gallon mouth. I started noticing how Howard would throw dirt at the other candidates and not like it when they would throw dirt back. He started lookin’ greasy as fried lard. He was as full of wind as a corn-eating horse. He started seeming like a guy who would break his arm trying to pat himself on the back.

I’ve started to come to my senses. Thinking Dean was a winner, I must have been a couple sandwiches shy of a picnic. Now I’m as scared as a sinner in a cyclone thinking that I lead so many astray with my endorsement of the little man from Vermont. I could worry the warts off a frog thinking that I helped poor Shrub win by a landslide and I helped.

Doctor Dean is riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels and I’m getting off that train pronto.

[liberalnurse]

1. Have you shared this with Molly?

[liberalnurse]

2. And I thought......

only Rove and *bush could mis-lead......with such obnoxious passion and hate.....

Maybe Move-On should know about you.