Kerry To Pac Man Ghosts: Bring It On!

[Pez]

Kerry To Pac Man Ghosts: Bring It On!



<snip>

John Kerry never brags about his talent at video games. He doesn’t say much about his ability to dodge ghosts and speed down the pellet-lined lanes of a Pac Man screen. No, he prefers to let his play speak for itself. But when a member of the national media (who will remain anonymous) gets a little cocky and throws down the gauntlet at the Pac Man machine, John Kerry must and will respond.

Here’s the play by play. The reporter, who we will call “Jane MSNBC” had beaten another reporter, let’s call him “Joe Boston Globe,” at the Pac Man machine earlier, and she was feeling pretty good about herself. Drunk with victory, she confidently challenged our hero to a game. John Kerry has always been ready to accept any challenge, and this time was no exception. We were, of course, already an hour late getting to our hotel (our national scheduler Kaaren should stop reading here . . . and not call me), so Trip Director Setti Warren looked bewildered and betrayed when another advance staffer jumped forward to give Kerry eight (yes eight) quarters. But Senator Kerry said, “Fear not, Setti, this won’t take a minute.” Ok. That isn’t true. But Setti did think for a minute we’d be there all night, and, in fact, Kerry made short work of Jane MSNBC.

John Kerry won the first game easily enough. Jane MSNBC did not even pass the strawberry level, and anyone who ever owned an Atari 5200 knows just how embarrassing that is. Kerry employed the cat and mouse tactic of speeding across the screen gobbling up pellets and leaving the ghosts until the end. Then he’d duck behind a power pellet (I know too much about this game) until he could see the whites of the ghosts’ eyes. That’s when he’d throw back a power pellet and unleash a furious attack on Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde (those are the ghosts). I knew then why a full third of all elected Democrats in the Iowa Statehouse enthusiastically support John Kerry.

The second game was closer. Jane MSNBC, like all reporters, has a nose for candidate strategy. She tried to adjust. But in the end, Kerry’s experience was just too much. He swept the series two games to nil. Never has this campaign staffer been more proud. When John Kerry stands at the Capitol being sworn in as leader of the free world, you can bet I’ll be proudly humming Pac Man fever to myself.

------------------------------------------------

impressive strategizing by the k-man. the duck-behind-the-pellet technique is the sign of a hard-core pacman fan.

[sujan]

1. yep

with his campaign in shambles, that's all he's good for, playing stupid video games.

Go kerry!

[Catch22Dem]

2. That was just a shitty thing to say

And completely uncalled for.

[Pez]

3. i thought it was pretty cool

i'm going to set up a LAN party and invite kerry. i wonder if he's any good at halo?

and define "shambles".

[NewYorkerfromMass]

10. Kick

[w4rma]

11. C'mon, sujan.

A) Promote positive threads like this. Don't trash them.

B) I thought this story was pretty neat.

C) Sen. Kerry is and has always been, in general, an honorable, ethical and all around great guy.

[Monte Carlo]

4. Oh yeah? Kerry hasn't played ME yet.

Let him take the REAL challenge, then we'll see what's what.

[Pez]

6. bring it on, beeyatch!

i see the other option on that machine is galaxian... wonder if kerry's only got pacman chops?!

prepare for battle, senator!

i bet people are going to make him play video games all the time now. i know i will if i get the chance >:-)

[Monte Carlo]

5. Oh bitch, bitch, bitch.

God forbid someone should take 15 minutes to showcase their video game skills.

[Sagan]

7. I'm not a huge Kerry supporter

I like him fine. I'm ABB all the way.

I thought this story was funny and even humanizing.

Lighten up, Francises.

:)

[MrBadExample]

8. Heh.

I'm not a big Kerry fan either, but I liked this story. I propose that Dean and Kerry settle their differences with a Street Fighter II tournament. I'm even willing to let one of them call no Guile. ;-)

(Ah, Guile...SONIC BOOM!)

[Scott Lee]

12. Make that a QUAKE deathmatch and I agree!

God power on, full invisibility, unlimited arms.

Gentlemen, man your joysticks.

[NewYorkerfromMass]

9. Hey! It's the new combined Pac-Man/Galaga machine!!!

wonder if he can do "Missile Command" too? Damn I love Kerry!

[DrFunkenstein]

13. I Missed This Thread Somehow

I love it!!!