Could Someone Explain Larry King To Me?

[Stevendsmith]

North Korea could be launching nukes and this guy would have Lawrence Welk on his show. And CNN wonders why it's losing out to FAUX? What the hell? Is the Larry King show targetting the senior demographic now? Just curious.

[terrya]

1. Whenever there's a major crime story...

Be it Kobe or Laci Peterson...

Larry King is there to relentlesssly obsess about it.

I'm sorry for the victims of these crimes, of course. But Larry King does nothing but sensationalize these stories.

[Goldmund]

2. I've been wondering that myself

What are they thinking with this pickled mummy of a host? A few weeks ago at the height of the initial stages of Treasongate he had some dude who claimed to be talking to dead people. Then came Dr. Phil a few days later. Then Nancy Grace, a lawyerly incarnation of the BPSF (the Blond Puke Super Female, the most famous incarnations of which are Man Coulter, Laura Ingraham, etc), who shows up there every few days to bitch about the fact that defendants are getting defended. That show blows.

[lcordero]

3. I saw him on TV a couple of times

He seems to be a really strange bird. There is no telling on what is running thru his mind. I saw him take a kick at Ann Coulter on his show...kind of unexpected for me because I thought that he was RW.

[catzies]

4. Here is everything you need to know about Larry King

courtesy The Onion (from the archives)

I AM FUCKING INSANE
by Larry King

Hello, friends, just a few random thoughts from yours truly.... Five minutes with Walter Matthau is like 10 years in an Ivy League school.... It's a shame what's happening in Sarajevo.... There is nothing more pleasurable than spreading butter all over your chest and watching TV.... Don't count out Olympia Dukakis in the 1953 Oscar race.... If you see my good friend Harry, tell him to give me a call.... Kudos to those fine folks who make Bugles so consistently delicious.... I just thought of a great question to ask Jan Michael Vincent.... Boy, do I hate this shirt.... What's that guy over there doing?.... The Amish make fine houses.... I wish Freddie Prinze was alive today so we could both laugh.... Some of the most beautiful women in the world work in diners.... Sex after 60 may be a challenge, but I like challenges.... If I had four awards to give, I would give them all to the Golden Girls.... I cannot wait to see what the producers of Logan's Run are up to next.... Teach a poor city kid how to love and you've made the world slightly better.... Help, I'm stuck on a ledge!.... Get out of my house!.... Please don't ever leave me again.... What in God's name am I talking about here, anyway?.... Look up "inventive" in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of Shields & Yarnell.... I don't give a fuck who you are; I paid the goddamn bill.... The difference between top-shelf vodka and bottom-shelf vodka is only a few dollars.... Kudos to the Jews and all the ways they entertain us.... I am always amazed at the depth of TV's Angie, Donna Pescow.... My earwax is impacted.... Shoes make the man, but it takes men and women working together to make a pair of shoes.... Cutting down on sugar is a great way to lower gastrointestinal discomfort.... There's a nice food restaurant on the corner of Belmont and Shanks.... Betrayal can bring about the coldest season of the human heart.... I disapprove of anyone who might cheat on a test.... Check out the rack on that Bernadette Peters.... Will someone help me get these curlers out of my hair?.... I am afraid of scary bats.... Hey, there's pears in this Jell-O!.... All the people who were ever important to me are dead.... Lord Jesus, how I wish I was Robert Wagner.... Always carry a hammer with you.... I forgot to refrigerate the butter.... The brown bananas taste very, very different.... Are you famous? If so, I love you!.... Where's my Bromo-Seltzer?.... There's nothing like breathable black dress socks on a sunny day.... Somehow I got all wet again.... If you look up marmosets in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of a small furry mammal.... Christ, my freakin' head is spinning!.... What was I talking about again? Oh yeah.... Charles Kuralt has worn some of the finest sweaters known to man.... How in God's name did this M.A.S.H. show get cancelled?.... Those armchairs with the swing-out foot rests are a true godsend.... My brown belt. Where the hell did I put that damn thing?.... Not so tight.... Have you ever noticed you park in the driveway but you drive to the movies in your car?.... That Ellen Burstyn has still got it.... If I could be any nationality in the world, I'd be Flemish.... Milton Berle is hung like an ox.... Of all the major religions, Buddhism has the best outfits.... If I was God for a day, I would eliminate the terrible scourge of rickets.... These scabs are not healing as quickly as I would have hoped.... That Eartha Kitt is one dynamite lady—and a class act to boot.


http://www.theonion.com/onion3120/iminsane.html

[Stevendsmith]

6. Well, that explains it!

Hilarious!

[DuctapeFatwa]

5. The regime's decree to CrusadeNewsNet is clear. Praise the Regime

Upbeat, positive. You are with us, or you are with the terrorists

[JitterbugPerfume]

7. Targeting the senior audience?

not this damn senior !!! I cant stand him He looks like a spider

[DuctapeFatwa]

9. Mr King does not look like a spider

He looks like a lizard.

[E Pluribus Unum]

8. Larry King is soooooooooo......

boring. You talk about lobbing softballs. He is the king of it.