Warpy
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Sat Sep-20-08 03:34 PM
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New definitions for troubled times |
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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
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Eurobabe
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Sat Sep-20-08 03:46 PM
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1. So sad, and yet funny. |
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I hear the band playing 'Nearer, My God, To Thee' on the deck of the USA Titantic. Iceberg Alert too late.
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jwirr
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Sat Sep-20-08 04:11 PM
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2. One more courtesy of JH Kuntsler: GOP - the party the destroyed our |
raccoon
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Mon Sep-22-08 02:30 PM
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3. I'd rec this if it wasn't past the time limit! nt |
DU
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Sun May 05th 2024, 10:32 AM
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