21 January 2048 - Foxx Nooze Radio Returns To Flooded NYC With Clinton Sex Scandal Anniversary Show

[hatrack]

FOXX NOOZE ANNOUNCES RETURN OF RADIO TO MANHATTAN WITH NEW 100-WATT STATION – GALA KICKOFF WILL COMMEMORATE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF CLINTON-LEWINSKY DISCLOSURE

(21 January 2048) – Foxx Nooz today announced the return of broadcasting to flooded lower Manhattan. The new station, which will use the call letters of the long-vanished WNYC, will broadcast at 91.3 on the FM band and will be the first broadcast facility to operate south of Harlem Heights in nearly 15 years. Powered by a substantial solar array, the 100-watt station will be located in the former Federal Reserve Bank on Liberty Street. It will be audible as far north as Rye and New Rochelle, in much of Brooklyn and Queens, and across the river in Jersey City and Hoboken. Though 24-hour broadcasting is still out of reach for the new WNYC, the station’s planned 13-hour schedule of 7:00 AM – 8:00 PM will reach more than 100,000 people daily starting tomorrow.

Patrick Hannity, who’ll be commuting by boat from his house in Brooklyn Heights, will kick off today’s broadcast at 12:00 noon, and is promising programming which will provide “a no-holds-barred romp through all that’s wrong with liberals and the liberal agenda.” Hannity will wear two hats at WNYC –general manager and one of the main on-air talents powering the station’s all-talk, largely political format. Other talkers on tap at the station include Ann Coulter II, Laura Boortz and Derek Schlessinger, although Schlessinger may not be able to do his show live for some weeks yet. He apparently is experiencing difficulties in gaining a work visa from the Confederation of New England and is at least temporarily tangled in immigration paperwork. However, he will be sending digitally recorded shows to WNYC from his current home in New Miami for the time being.

“We’re tremendously excited by this lineup, and it’s not just the new station. It’s the fact that finally we can tell Americans the truth about feminazis, abortionists, so-called environmentalists, climate radicals and a Democrat Party that just won’t roll over and die”, Hannity noted. He was also pleased with the exclusive commercial access the new station will offer to the large New York market. “There are only so many hemorrhagic dengue alerts and boil orders New Yorkers are willing to listen to on the Confederation’s official low-power network. What we’re offering is something completely new, something entertaining and something informative. We think people are going to enjoy it, and they’re going to listen in large numbers.”

WNYC’s grand opening today promises a slice of politics, current affairs and above all, history. This is, as Foxx Nooz has emphasized in broadcasts elsewhere, the 50th anniversary of revelations that Bill Clinton, then 42nd President of the United States, had a sexual relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky and lied about it. A special program designed to celebrate the return of Manhattan radio and commemorate the scandal, “Klintoon Klassix” will run from 12:00 to 3:00. The special will include new comedy routines featuring a dance mix version of Clinton’s world-famous statement that he “did not have sexual relations with that woman – Ms. Lewinsky”, audio testimony of Vince Foster digitally interspersed with gunshots and a special guest appearance with Stuart North, in support of his book “The Highest Crimes: How The Clintons’ Lesbianism, Murder, Drug Trafficking and Real Estate Fraud Destroyed America”. On the personal finance side, Jenna Bush is also on the agenda. She’ll be promoting her own latest publishing effort, “Big Time – Making Money In The Coming Real Estate Boom”.

The station’s celebratory gala will be in keeping with the anniversary. Those with boats or rafts are invited to drop by Liberty Street, where newly repaired cofferdams are keeping water out of the restored Fed building. From 2:00 PM until curfew warning, visitors will be able to avail themselves of complimentary “50 Years of Shame” t-shirts, free cigars courtesy of Vermont Tobacco and a buffet lunch which may include real roast chicken, though station management was still awaiting catering confirmation. Those attending must present Confederation photo ID and complete vaccination certificates to enter the venue. Armed security will be present to prevent any possible disturbances. Mooring for visitors is first-come first-served, though the newly expanded Foxx Doxx have enough space for about 300 boats.

[liberalhistorian]

1. Great, I love it!

Quite creative. I especially like the "Confederation of New England". Although I do remember after the '04 election, the talk was the division of blue states and red states into "the United States of Canada" and "Jesusland."

Unfortunately, the environmental and political situations described sound all too plausible. And I have no doubt that that's exactly what Fox Snooze would be yammering about, while people suffered and died all around them.

[madrchsod]

2. ...a bit of dark humor today...