Devious Rabbit Tricks Bush into Signing Gun Ban - ROLFMAO!

[Pert_UK]

"WASHINGTON, DC—The nation's sweeping new gun-control legislation is the result of a confidence trick pulled on President Bush by a devious rabbit, White House sources said Tuesday. The "Coney Act," which Bush signed into law Monday, prohibits the sale or ownership of handguns and semi-automatic weapons and enacts harsh penalties for the hunting of small game, most notably rabbits.

"The gun ban is not the result of a change in the Republican Party's position on gun ownership," Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) said. "It is the product of a fraud perpetrated by a conniving rabbit, perhaps as an elaborate ruse to avoid being eaten by the president, who is much bigger and stronger than he. Through the use of quick wits and cunning, not physical strength, that dang rabbit got the best of the president." "

Full "article":

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4027&n=1

[MrBenchley]

1. LOL!!

"Rumors that the FBI is constructing a tar baby to catch the rabbit could not be confirmed at press time. "

[TX-RAT]

2. That dastardly wabbit

[MrBenchley]

3. If it had been Bugs Bunny

we would have got health care and workers' rights out of the unelected drunk too....

[Wickerman]

4. Wow, a thread in the gungeon criticizing Bush

and I thought I would have to fight to get a post in.

[MrBenchley]

5. LOL!

[Wickerman]

6. kick

[FatSlob]

7. Quite amusing.

What is a "tar baby"?

[Liberal Classic]

8. Uncle Remus Tales

Especially as told by black southerners in the nineteenth century. Though the tradition of telling fables like these certianly goes back a lot farther than Aesop, Uncle Remus Tales are thought to be a synthesis of African folklore and European folklore, with some social message adressing bondage and some entertainment value thrown in. They were first published as "Uncle Remus: His Songs and Sayings" Or "Uncle Remus and his Legends of the Old Plantation" by Joel Chandler Harris in 1881. Searching for those terms should answer all your questions.

Joel Chandler Harris, a white man, was born in 1848 and grew up in Georgia during the reconstruction period. He became an editorial writer for the Atlanta Constitution and often wrote on reconstruction issues, but he used the pseudonym of Uncle Remus to publish the tales he had collected. Though there was no real science of cultural anthropology at the time and some of Mr. Harris' opinions are likely a bit dated by today's standards, the fables themselves are generally considered to be a good reflection of the vernacular and folklore of the freedmen of his day. In the decades since, many generations of children black and white have grown up on Uncle Remus, myself included.

Uncle Remus Tales are told from the point of view of an old man relating a story to a young child. Specifically, the tale of the tar baby is about the conflict between the fox and the rabbit. To catch Brer Rabbit (Brother Rabbit), Brer Fox makes a baby out of tar and puts it on the road. Brer Rabbit is arrogant and quick to anger, but Brer Fox is patient. Walking by, Brer Rabbit says 'hi' to the tar baby, but the baby (being made from tar) doesn't respond. Brer Rabbit tries to get a response from the tar baby, until in frustration takes a swing and gets a hand stuck in the tar. Brer Fox waits patiently in the bushes. Now in anger Brer Rabbit swings and kicks until he is all gummed up, at which time Brer Fox jumps out of the bushes with a hungry look on his face.

My favorite was always the briar patch story. :)

[FatSlob]

9. I have been enlightened. Thank you!

[Liberal Classic]

11. Oh and yes

In case there is any question as to the Onion article, I am busting a gut.

[FatSlob]

12. Sure you are! I bet you are really a Bush interloper!

Just kidding. Once again, thanks for the info on the Tar Baby, I was pretty damn confused.

[FeebMaster]

10. I'd barely call that parody.

Other than the whole rabbit thing it reads like a conversation with a Republican about all the gun control Republicans have passed. I don't think Republicans need to be tricked into passing gun control, of course, I think they're just a bunch of gun grabbers.


"The gun ban is not the result of a change in the Republican Party's position on gun ownership," Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) said.

The Republicans should have the Onion guys write for them. This could be an actual quote. I could see a Republican saying that if they renew the AWB or after any of the other gun control they've passed. I could see a Republican voter believing it too.



the rabbit is also believed to have tricked U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) into thinking that the sun was still down so that the animal could swipe vegetables from his refrigerator in May. The rabbit is also the prime suspect in the infamous April incident in which U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) lodged her head in the knot of a persimmon tree.

Oh my, senseless Democrat bashing. I mean senseless bashing of Democrats not bashing of senseless Democrats or senseless bashing of senseless Democrats.

[Wickerman]

13. yep

what FM said