evesdropping on a right-wing interview. GET A LOAD OF THIS WHACKO!!

[ztn]

Sandy Slokum, the executive director of Defend Our Marriages, participated in the gathering, called "Confronting the Judicial War on Faith." In this exclusive Q and A, Slokum describes how she and her fellow anti-judicial activism activists plan to take America back—to a Judeo-Christian future.

What to do about conservative judicial appointees gone wild.

Swift: Talk about an all-star line-up! Who was the conservative Christian that you most enjoyed spending time with this weekend?

Slokum: Well obviously we were all really disappointed that Tom Delay was called to Rome for the Pope's funeral. He's an inspiration to us all.

<snip>

Swift: Other than banning adultery, vacating controversial judicial rulings and eliminating the separation between church and state, are there other issues that are key here?

Slokum: We felt really strongly that this needed to be a gathering about action, not just ideas. <snip> And people finally seem ready to make the campaign against adultery the centerpiece of our legislative agenda. As you know, there's a lot of anger and resentment right now towards politicians who were elected by the faithful and seem to have turned their backs on us. We're going to start by singling out a group of adulterous legislators and making examples of them—we call them FINO's—faithful in name only.

Swift: These cultural issues are all very important, but what about the economy? Was there any talk of economics at the conference?

Slokum: Interesting that you should ask that, Deanna. In the past, our main focus has been on explosive cultural matters as we really think that these are more important to voters than how much they earn and whether they have health insurance or not. But there was a very interesting session this weekend on the Rapture as a jobs creation act. Basically, when the faithful are saved, and I assume that you and I will be among them, there are going to be a lot of job vacancies, including some fairly high-ranking positions. And while I don't want to underplay the seriousness of the Tribulation here, you could see some great opportunities for career advancement.

fullarticle:
http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/04/activists_say_a.html

---------------------------------------------

YIKES!!

[On the Road]

1. A Campaign Against "FINOs"

I can't wait to watch this. They have plenty of material.

:popcorn:

[warrens]

2. HAHAHAHA, the Rapture as a jobs creation act

Hey Slokum, can I have your car, house and bank account to? Why not give them to me now, since the Rapture is on the way. You know, show a little faith, baby.

I like the idea of going after adulterous religious hypocrites. I got a list of Republican scumbags you can start with.

[ET Awful]

3. Rapture as a jobs creation act. . . .

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:ROFL: Hurry up and get raptured, I need a promotion :)

LMFAO

[gratuitous]

10. You'd only get a promotion

If the folks above you got raptured. And we know what a bunch of gravy-sucking pigs THEY are. Sorry, ET Awful, you're stuck where you are.

[BeHereNow]

4. Okay- cue up the twilight zone music....

The tribulation will create job vacancies and career advancement?
Is this interview for REAL? Or is it satire?
BHN

"But there was a very interesting session this weekend on the Rapture as a jobs creation act. Basically, when the faithful are saved, and I assume that you and I will be among them, there are going to be a lot of job vacancies, including some fairly high-ranking positions. And while I don't want to underplay the seriousness of the Tribulation here, you could see some great opportunities for career advancement."

[ztn]

8. LMFAO, It's real!! That's the point! It IS real.

follow the link and check it out.

I wish level headed and misguided republicans...especially those from blue states who simply complain and welfare and taxes...could read this and see who they support with their votes! Psychos!!!

[BeHereNow]

16. No, I think it is VERY good satire...

Scary because it hits a little too close to the truth.
but there is NO way it is real-
Please? Someone tell me it IS satire?
BHN

[yellowcanine]

25. Has to be satire - Rapture creating jobs? LOL Besides no republican

is going to seriously want to ban adultery. All of their bright stars would get caught in that one.

[RaleighNCDUer]

29. Definitely satire. Check the links from there. Hilarious. nt

[yellowcanine]

30. No kidding! Click on the "Back to School Christian Fashions" and

check out the "Jesus Starter Kit" and the "Fetal Attractions" -Unborn Baby Ornament - U.S. Troop Model.

[LiberalVoice]

5. Oh my god. Shes fucking looney.

Maybe once the rapture comes we'll have peace on earth.

[NoPasaran]

6. Ummmm

You do realize this is a satirical site, right?

[BeHereNow]

17. PLEASE confirm that it is satire-

It is looney enough to be real, but
scary enough to be satire
Please confirm...I am really NOT sure.
BHN

[NoPasaran]

26. The site is named after famed satirist Jonathan Swift

[ztn]

19. I didn't get that impression.

I checked out the site. It seemed real to me.

[comsymp]

27. Definitely a satire site

Their stories have made their way here before. Better than the Onion, IMO.

You'll get a kick out of the Inaugural Menu story if you find it.

[unblock]

7. um, it's a farce. or is it satire? i never can tell the difference.

some of the "news" articles are hilarious.

e.g., there's an article about a promising new drug therapy to "treat deeply-held personal beliefs"

:rofl:

[ztn]

12. It's not a joke. Look at the whole website. these loons are real.

I thought it was a joke too but it's not. This is a real rapture-right fundamentalist Q and A.

[unblock]

18. you really think these stories are not satire? :

http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/04/fox_news_poll_s.html#more

April 29, 2005
Fox News Poll Says DeLay Not Most Unpopular Man in US
A new poll by the Fox News Channel has found that embattled House Majority Leader Tom DeLay wins the title 'most popular' in a head to head match up with United Nations head Kofi Annan. While the fair and balanced poll gives the Texas representative cause to celebrate, the good news is tempered by the fact that few Americans seem to have heard of Mr. Annan.

Continue reading "Fox News Poll Says DeLay Not Most Unpopular Man in US"

http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/05/paula_abdul_voi.html#more

Paula Abdul Voicemails Not Linked to Terrorism, Feds Say
Federal agents reportedly recorded the messages that American Idol judge Paula Abdul left for Idol wannabe Corey Clark as part of a terrorist sting operation. The agents, who were monitoring Clark's phone calls under a provision of the Patriot Act, were after suspected Jordanian terrorist Buelah Abdul.

Continue reading "Paula Abdul Voicemails Not Linked to Terrorism, Feds Say"

http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/05/drug_companies_.html#more

Drug Companies Say Promising New Therapies Could Treat 'Deeply Held Personal Beliefs'
A team of scientists has announced a breakthrough in therapies that could someday be used to treat so-called deeply held personal beliefs. The therapies, known as VOX III inhibitors, target the area of the brain responsible for generating strong opinions and have already shown promising results when tested upon lab rats and on human subjects at either end of the political spectrum.

Continue reading "Drug Companies Say Promising New Therapies Could Treat 'Deeply Held Personal Beliefs'"

[BeHereNow]

20. Well heck- who knows these days?

We DO know that the x-tians are clinically insane.
I think the real point is that we even have to ask
if it is a satire or not...

Think about it!
BHN

[ztn]

23. agreed.

It kinda reminds of a comment made by the not-so-liberal Andrew Sullivan last week on Bill Maher:

He commented on Bush saying that people of faith and those who are not are equally patriotic.

Sullivan was appalled and said it's horrible that that even needs to be said on TV these days! I couldn't agree more.

[ztn]

22. yeah, I see your point. I started reading a a bit more

some of the headlines are a bit too wacky...even for a right-winger fundamentalists.

hhmmmm...

[politicaholic]

9. She is one sick puppy...

What a friggin' jobs plan. She's about as sane as a kitten on acid.

God...please bring the rapture so that we can release ourselves from people like her and go back to normal...thank you.

[Career Prole]

11. "Basically, when the faithful are saved... " Honey, how much savin'

do you people need? You run around yelling "I'm saved! I'm saved!" and everyone you bump into gets "I'm saved! Do YOU want to be saved? I'm saved!".

Now you're saying the Rupture's gonna save you again?!

What sees more savin', I wonder...Baywatch reruns, freakin' airlines, or you fundies?

[FreedomAngel82]

13. DeLay an inspiration?

That's laughable!!! I guess they should know about his sex trades eh?

[A HERETIC I AM]

14. Yes. Of course. We should all plan our future employment

prospects around a supernatural event. Sounds logical to me.

I wanna be an Airline pilot. As a trucker, i think i'll fit right in.

[dogday]

15. Constitutional Ban on Adultry?

What?

[bvar22]

21. OK. I ABSOLUTELY agree. Where can I send a donation????

The Fristians NEED to purge their party of the ADULTERERS!!!!!PLEASE!!
I can give them a list!

[Sequoia]

24. So, get Raptured already crazy loons. We need jobs, we don't

need the likes of your fundieness. Yes, and illegal immigrants are welcomed.

[MadisonProgressive]

28. This part is priceless!

"I think I can speak for everyone in saying that we came away from the weekend newly committed to fighting for legislation that we call 'Terri's Law,' that would guarantee all Americans food, water and shelter."

Does that only include the brain-dead???