You Might Be a Freeper If....

[Sparkly]

(I know lists like this have been done before, but let's come up with some new ones in honor of recent events.)

You might be a Freeper if:

-You think Cindy Sheehan is firing up terrorism, but Bush's war is spreading peace.

-You think Cindy Sheehan's cause is based on forgeries, but Rush Limbaugh's assboil makes him a hero.

- You think Bush is smart, David Horowitz is sane, Dick Cheney's healthy, and/or Karl Rove is honest.

- You think soldiers are "padding their resumes," but don't think Halliburton is padding their profits.

- You thought gas at $1.15 a gallon was an outrage under Clinton, but you're okay with Bush's $2.79 (since he'll start "jawboning opec" any day now, plus it's still cheaper than milk!).

- You think Chandra, Terri, Natalee, and the runaway bride are newsworthy for months at a time, but complain when the media reports too much about violence in Iraq.

- You think the war in Iraq is just, noble, and effective, but the military just "isn't for you."

C'mon DUers -- add your own.

[shaniqua6392]

1. Goodness! Your list is perfect.

I would have to think about that one since you covered much of the problems with this crooked administration and those idiots who voted for him.

[Saphire]

2. as a mother of 3...milk is outragously priced. Saying gas is cheaper

is no consolation to me. Gas is also cheaper than a ranch in Crawford, but it don't help me much.

[Momgonepostal]

8. Gas is more expensive in CA

I just paid 2.25 for a gallon of milk today and I think $2.79 for gas yesterday, the lowest grade of unleaded, self-serve.

[Sparkly]

9. Uh-oh, they're gonna need a new comparison.

"It's cheaper than French wine."

[YOY]

3. Here's a couple

-You actually believe that Fox is "Fair and Balanced"

-You consider Bush to be a 'uniter'

-You've never travelled outside of the United States yet consider yourself an expert on foreign relations

-You consider Islam evil, but have not read one word of the Koran, don't know one Muslim, and know nothing about the actual religion

[bliss_eternal]

4. ...you believe in the existence of welfare queens

and that everything said by reagan was the gospel truth.

[ET Awful]

5. You think it's impossible to support the troops but not the president

unless that president is Bill Clinton.

[Montauk6]

6. You might be a Freeper if...

- You think accidentally spilling your seed on an intern's dress is a hanging offense, but deliberately spilling the blood of innocents is all in a day's work for the new messiah.

- You find it morally reprehensible for poor folks to use food stamps to buy a bag of chips but see nothing wrong with rich folks writing off the same bag of chips as a business expense.

[Career Prole]

7. You wonder why a box fan or an open window doesn't cool you off

like it once did while changing the channel because some librul whacko is once again trying to claim greenhouse gas emissions matter.

[Richard Steele]

13. Lol, that pic is dead brill!

[LeftLibra]

10. You might be a freeper if

You Don't Care!

[FuzzyDicePHL]

11. You might be a freeper if

you think that sissy man who does your hair does a fabulous job but it makes you queasy to think of him settling down, happily married to his boyfriend.

[Parche]

12. You might be an ignorant right wing hypocrite if.........

1. You think GW Bush is a Unificator

2. You think War is Peace, and Peace is War

3. You vote against welfare/homeless/hungry people, but you think
that the new energy bill,(by giving $billions to the oil companies)
is not corporate welfare.

4. You think Ann Coulter is good looking

5. You think that the song "Proud to be an American" is our national anthem

6. You try to uphold the US Constitution, but dont mind that
the illegal invasion of Iraq was against Article6 of that same Constitution.

7.

[KarenS]

14. Unificator !!!

:rofl:

I like it!!!

[mapleboard]

16. You might be a freeper if........

You might be a freeper if...you run over crosses representing fallen American soldiers,in front of the mother of a fallen American soldier..............IN A PICKUP TRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Name removed]

15. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[nookiemonster]

17. You believe that "chickenhawk" has nothing to do with miliary service

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4380790&mesg_id=4380790

[footinmouth]

18. You might be a freeper if ...

- You thought Jesus on a trailer hitch, Randall Terry & Congressional intervention were perfectly acceptable for weeks on end down in Florida because you "respect life".

- But, one mother, grieving for her son has been co-opted by the left for political gain and she's disturbing the peace.

[knitter4democracy]

19. If you believe all those leftist wackos protesting the war

are paid to do it, you might be a Freeper.

If you consider it a sacred duty to get all your talking points and news for the day from Rush Limbaugh, you might be a Freeper.

If you really think that you can't be anti-semitic when you want Israel to rebuild the Temple so you can be Raptured, you might be a Freeper.

[flaminbats]

20. "You Might Be a Freeper If...."

-You think Bush is just as sexy as Clinton, but Clinton only had less self-control.

-You think supporting the troops and winning the war on terrorism means staying in Iraq.

-You believe gases prices would be five dollars more a gallon if not for Bush.

-You think Roe v Wade only violates our civil rights.

-You think if not for the 700 club, Christians would all be in jail now.

-You believe a republic is always better than democracy.

-You believe Bush is a compassionate conservative, Zell is a moderate, and Joe Biden is a flaming liberal.

-You think 9/11 resulted from Clinton's military cuts and because of no Department of Homeland Security.

-You think that privatizing Social Security is the only way to save it, but that creating it was a huge mistake to begin with.

-You believe the reason more and more people are uninsured and healthcare has become so expensive is because of all those trial lawyers and frivolous lawsuits.

-You blame illegal immigration on the minimum wage and trade restrictions, but think CAFTA will only provide a needed boost for the economy.

[Contrary1]

21. You definitely would be a Freeper if

you are reading this thread and think...
What in the hell are those Leftist Liberals talking about?"

[SledDriver]

22. You might be a Freeper if...

- You think Ann Coulter is a female :puke:

- You go out sportin' your "Factor Gear" :freak:

- You think sticking magnetic yellow ribbons on your SUV qualifies as "supporting the troops" :patriot:

- You actually think W landed that plane on the carrier :dunce:
- You've stood guard in front of porta-potties marked "Patriots Only" :hurts:

- You actually voted for Bush :wtf:

[photuris]

23. Too harsh.

Edit: Never Mind.

[one_true_leroy]

24. you 'support the troops' by fighting the culture war at home.

[nickinSTL]

25. if...

-you think that Saddam Hussain was behind 9/11

-you believe we haven't been attacked since 9/11 because we're winning the 'War on Terror'

[The Sleeper]

26. You might be a freeper if...

You think:

The UN wants to tell you what to do.

The first amendment goes too far....way too far.

The 2nd amendment doesn't go far enough.

Trading freedom for "security" is a good thing.

There should be camps or something for those traitors.

America was doing just fine until those crazy Liberals showed up.

The Corporations are my friend.

The Free market is fair, so with hard work I can get rich too.

Questioning authority is UnAmerican.

No, you dumb egghead liberal, it's spelled M-O-R-A-N !

[Catchawave]

27. You believe raising the minimum wage will destroy the economy

and run everyone out of business.

[marc_the_dem]

28. if...

-you believe that leadership by example is not a required quality
-your brain and or soul have been replace by armadillo excrement
-your IQ does not exceed 100

[Coexist]

29. you think proceeds from those yellow magnets actually go to the troops

[Mark E. Smith]

30. You might be a freeper if ...

... your neglected wife is sleeping around, your ignored kids are doing drugs, you haven't made it to church since God knows when, and you spend 50 hours a week on the internet bloviating about the decline of values and morality in America.

[raccoon]

31. You think "liberals" and "liberalism" are responsible for

all the social problems the US has.

You claim to be "saved," and "loved Jesus," but you think the Civil Rights movement and the women's movement were the "ruination" of the US.