Novak's $595 scam

[donsu]

http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/24528/

Hear Novak Tell All!

Robert Novak, whose "confidential" sources helped him light the match that set off the Plamegate wildfire, is now on the Internet blithely hawking "confidential" sessions with Washington's power elite. He's only asking $595 a person. The invitation says: "This meeting is 100% off the record." The e-mail letter goes on to explain that the secrecy is necessary so that the speakers can speak candidly and tell the truth. The truth, in the nation's capital--that's certainly worth $595.

Actually, the truth-dedicated Novak has been running these one-day conferences for decades. Sources believe it's an effort to supplement the paltry income from his syndicated column, his political talk shows on television, and other entrepreneurial sidelines. You've all heard of cottage industries. Novak's conglomerate is more of the gated-community variety. You've probably guessed: He's very much in favor of reducing taxes on the rich.

I had heard of his multinational enterprise, but I'd never been invited before. Then suddenly, about a month ago, among other spam-like mass mailings that land in my "bulk mail" folder, came the invitation by e-mail. It arrived via the conservative website of Human Events, which is apparently helping Bob--that's what his friends call him--with his retirement plan. Anyway, the invitation said I better hurry up and send in my $595 right away. "Seats are filling up," it went on, explaining that "to help allow enough interaction with each of our attendees, only 70 people are allowed to attend the Forum."

-snip-

Suspense, too, hovered over the invitation. You see, Novak doesn't tell you in advance who the "confidential" speakers are going to be. "To get the absolute best, most interesting speakers at every Forum," the letter explained, "Bob Novak waits until the last possible moment to invite many of the speakers. He wants to make sure his guests benefit from the most current topics possible." The letter, though, did provide a list of some past speakers. Karl Rove, a regular Novak informant, was one of them. I hope he comes this year. It would be good to hear what Rove has to say--since he's also involved in the Plame scandal--before the indictments are handed up by the grand jury. A special prosecutor is just now finishing up an investigation into whether someone broke the federal laws against releasing classified information and putting people such as CIA agents at risk.
-snip-
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Novak can go down in the annuals of successful con men in history along with Robertson.

[Neocondriac]

1. Yeah !

...but will I have to buy the audio tape set afterwards and have product partys at my home every Wednesday night.

[rodeodance]

2. His conversation to Catholicism a few years ago was given coverage

on one of the cable stations a few months ago. I was shocked that he would warrent this coverage. It was a big segment.

[gratuitous]

3. Bob waits until the last possible moment

And then, like Ralph Edwards from the old "This Is Your Life" program, surprises folks into being speakers at his Forum. Or, more likely, just as the barbary pirates of old shanghaied their crew the night before setting sail, Bob regularly slips roofies to his drinking buddies who come to, groggy and disoriented, just in time to participate in his little Forums, and to implicate them as accessories after the fact to Bob's many crimes.

[Supersedeas]

4. access has a price, ya know

[Skidmore]

5. Exactly what earned Novak his fame initially?

Woodward became famous through Watergate. George Will because he was in political circles. But what got Novak there?

[Ron Mexico]

6. Proficiency in administration,

or more specifically, proficiency in administering blowjobs. That's my guess.