Lyrics to my new protest song called Stop The War

[vickitulsa]

Thought I'd offer them up for DUers' opinions.

The tune is reminiscent of the way Richie Havens sang "Freedom" at Woodstock, with a lot of hard driving guitar strumming and repetition. I've heard that Richie was filling time while the organizers at Woodstock got another act ready to go onstage, but the song he did became a classic in its own right. I wasn't trying to copy it when I wrote this, but the inspiration that came to me with the words just ended up being a bit similar in style.

Here are the lyrics.


STOP THIS WAR

We are standing on the rock
We've got to bring the killing to a stop

Sooner rather than later
We are late already alligator

We've got to stop this insane nightmare war
Like we did when they had one like it before

The pointless slaughter of brown-skinned children
Makes the blood boil hot, no more senseless killin'!

So let's get the attention of the man with the key
To the war machine, turn it OFF, let them be!

STOP -- THIS -- WAR!
FOR -- EVER -- MORE!

BRING OUR SOLDIERS BACK!
LEAVE IRAQ, LEAVE IRAQ!

We have ravaged their land
For the oil buried deep in their sand

Our troops are compelled to kill
Based on lies from the Big Lie Mill

It's way past time for us to come awake
We can't just steal what we want to take

My brothers and sisters didn't sign up for this
They hoped to help at home when a need exists

If a hurricane washed out the Florida coast
We'd have no National Guard when we need them most

Because they're all toting guns in faraway Iraq
We want them HOME, bring them back, bring our soldiers BACK!

STOP -- THIS -- WAR!
FOR -- EVER -- MORE!

BRING OUR SOLDIERS BACK!
LEAVE IRAQ, LEAVE IRAQ!

So Mr. Bush, get the key to your killing machine
And turn the damned war OFF, make your conscience clean

You have done us wrong and you've wronged them too
There are some things that a president just should not do

So we are standing on the rock
We're gonna make this killing stop

There is so much on the line
And we don't have much more time

STOP -- THIS -- WAR!
FOR -- EVER -- MORE!

BRING OUR SOLDIERS BACK!
LEAVE IRAQ, LEAVE IRAQ!

I'm trying to find a way to record it besides on my computer, which doesn't exactly give high-quality sound recordings.

Just thought some of you might like to read the lyrics meanwhile. :)

~VV

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[cleveramerican]

1. Edit it down and you're on to something

The hardest thing for a songwriter to do is throw out the mediocre and leave only the bits that are the best.

When I'm writing I usually throw out the entire fist draft and start again, then merge the two keeping only whats ABSOLUTELY necessary.I usually end up with the best bits from each version.


There is beauty in simplicity and when it comes to lyrics that goes double.


good luck and keep working on it, it'll come together.

[vickitulsa]

2. You're so right!

Can you help me with these?

The nice thing about paring out some of the "non-essentials" is that you can keep them in your pocket in case the song ever goes anywhere and the people demand more verses.

Also, some of the greatest protest songs, folk songs from as far back as wars go, have been very long. I recall the many anti-war songs Joan Baez recorded and I listened to endlessly on vinyl on my little home stereo back in the last Quagmire War we were in. Apparently, when it comes to objecting to having their sons and daughters killed, their countrymen and women, some songwriters have a LOT to say -- and some listeners want to hear it all, too.

But you ARE right, and I'll work on it. Never hurts to have a "short version" to offer up, especially initially. And I mean it about the help -- any suggestions would be welcome!

THANKS, very much! :hi:

~VV

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[meganmonkey]

3. Lovely!

Kick and nom

:yourock:

[vickitulsa]

4. Thanks, Meganmonkey!

I've taken out a few verses, as cleveramerican suggested, and it's now a little leaner. What's nice is that I can hang onto those verses in case anyone ever wants to hear them later.

And I have changed a small bit of one of those edited verses, too. Instead of the part about the National Guard not being there if a hurricane takes out the "Florida" coast, now it is "the whole Gulf Coast," seeing as how it looks like this is exactly the circumstance we're going to be looking at soon.

I had thought of that when I penned it, but Florida came to mind first because of the last season-and-a-half of hurricanes that have hit it most. I saw in another thread where someone mentioned this problem of having very few National Guard troops remaining in those southern states where the storm is headed, too. I believe Mary Landrieu (is that her name?) said something about the problem. I've been worried for some time about something LIKE this coming up, with so many NG troops in Iraq that we would need here but not have them.

And I wonder also how those very same troops must feel right now, as such a monstrous storm approaches their HOME states and THEIR FAMILIES, but they are not able to be there to help protect them!

It's outrageous, and I think the blowback on the prez about this issue once the storm has passed through is going to be tremendous -- as it should be!

So here's the latest version of my song. Still welcoming any input about it ... it's new, and therefore it's a work in progress.


STOP THIS WAR

We are standing on the rock
We've got to bring the killing to a stop

Sooner rather than later
We are late already alligator

We've got to stop this insane nightmare war
Like we did when they had one like it before

So let's get the attention of the man with the key
To the war machine, turn it OFF, let them be!

STOP -- THIS -- WAR!
FOR -- EVER -- MORE!

BRING OUR SOLDIERS BACK!
LEAVE IRAQ, LEAVE IRAQ!

We have ravaged their land
For the oil buried deep in their sand

Our troops are compelled to kill
Based on lies from the Big Lie Mill

It's way past time for us to come awake
We can't just steal what we want to take

My brothers and sisters didn't sign up for this
They hoped to help at home when a need exists

STOP -- THIS -- WAR!
FOR -- EVER -- MORE!

BRING OUR SOLDIERS BACK!
LEAVE IRAQ, LEAVE IRAQ!

So we are standing on the rock
We're gonna make this killing stop

There is so much on the line
And we don't have much more time

So Mr. Bush, get the key to your killing machine
And turn the damned war OFF, make your conscience clean

You have done us wrong and you've wronged them too
There are some things that a president just should not do

STOP -- THIS -- WAR!
FOR -- EVER -- MORE!

BRING OUR SOLDIERS BACK!
LEAVE IRAQ, LEAVE IRAQ!

~*~*~*~*~

Oh, and I wanted to say about the tune, the way I sing it, FYI.

It starts out kind of quiet and not exactly up-tempo ... the idea is that the volume and tempo increase slowly with each verse and the refrain can therefore be expected to be almost a shout, as indicated by the caps and exclamation points.

Also, the song is sung in a sort of chant style altogether. Not quite, but almost, like a cadence.

The key is flexible, and in fact within the song it changes -- starting in whatever key one wishes to begin with, and then every two verses and before the chorus, the key changes, moving up one half-tone step. This flows very naturally and jives with the softer then louder volume of the song. That volume change goes from softer to louder from the first of each "section" through the refrain, then back to softer again to start the next group of verses and building to the refrain each time.

I'm trying to get at least a Webcam with audio AVI file of me singing the song recorded, as I've done this with tunes before and it worked fairly well, though of course no one should expect high quality in this kind of format! I used to play piano and guitar, but now have hand pain that won't allow for those instruments; but I do still play the autoharp and I'll try for a recording using that as accompaniment. :D

Wish me luck! I'll share the avi file with anyone who wants to hear it when I have it done.

The fun thing about this song, for me, is that the refrain works beautifully as a protest CHANT. I could easily imagine hearing it from the mouths of fellow anti-war activists protesting in a march. The meter and rhyme of this song work for it, and the refrain especially is suited for such a use.

And lastly, whether I get much encouragement here at DU or not (and again I thank both of you who have posted for your supportive remarks, and especially the vote, Megan), I plan to keep working on this song until it is polished. Even if I don't get to hear it sung far and wide in a major anti-war movement, it's one I want to finish and sing to friends. It's a message I feel VERY strongly about ... in case ya couldn't tell! :headbang: :woohoo: :patriot:

And it gives me the opportunity to spread the word even just among my friends and a few other folks I might bump into locally.

~VV

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[cleveramerican]

5. you could do it as a rap too

even as a Marvin Gaye "whats going on" sorta feel

I like the idea of the tempo building to a crescendo, but that puts a lot of pressure on the bridge, have you decided how you'll break the tension of the building tempo?

I never feel any song is finished until I've done several rewrites.
Sometimes when you're pushing for that 1000th verse another idea will come along and change the whole thing into something new(and better)

don't wait for too much encouragement do it for yourself.


"To believe your own heart, to know whats true for you is true for everyman, that is genius" Ralph Waldo Emerson

" No man has ever been led astray by following his own genius, and mine is a very crooked one" H.D. Thoreau

[vickitulsa]

6. Right again on all counts, clever

And thanks. Yep, I'm doing it for myself, and it's coming along nicely. The "what's goin' on" feel is something I haven't thought of, but I've found most songs lend themselves rsdily to various interpretive styles. I never mind when someone takes one of mind and does something entirely different with it!

The crescendo and building tempo through each verse breaks up real well with the emphatic refrains, then cools back smoothely before the next verse, which requires a listener to lean in to catch what's next. Only my vocal ability remains unaffected by the pain in my joints, so I can't strum very energetically on the autoharp but I can sure do what I want to vocally. :)

I've been distracted quite a bit worrying about friends going through Katrina's powerful effects, but I won't be dropping this song for long, if at all. When I have a recording made, I'll pop back in on DU and see if others might be interested in hearing it.

Timing is everything!

Oh, and I can't do rap worth a damn, but I see what you mean about the lyrics possibly working for that style as well.

We'll see what happens ... I rewrite and rework a lot, too, but with really inspired stuff (like this one), it seems to take on a life of its own and just "grow" into what it was meant to be. That's happening, and I'm lovin' it. :D

~VV

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