6 easy steps for any Democrats that want to run for President in 2008

[zulchzulu]

OK, so you're thinking of running for President in 2008. In order to get your message out CLEANLY, you will need to follow these simple steps.

1. The audience who is going to see the speech will be completely checked for any records or other information where they might not like the candidate or have not chosen a specific candidate at that time. All clothing will be checked for any possible problems regarding candidate loyalty, including any electronic devices that could record or pieces of paper and writing materials.

2. When giving a speech, you will have a podium where you will speak that is in a hermetically sealed, sound-proof clear box. No one will actually be able to hear you as you speak. They would just see you. A holographic 3D visual movie of a previously recorded and carefully edited speech is the best recommendation.

3. There will be a 2-minute delay in the speech so that a team of lawyers and media relations specialists can scrutinize the speech for ANY possible degrees of misrepresentation in a nearby room. A video production editor will then be given proper edits before the speech is fed out to the audience.

4. The optimal way of really have a clean message is to have a professional spokesperson read the edited, scrutinized speech after Step 3 has occurred.

5. Absolutely NO recording devices will be allowed within a mile from the venue. Once the event has been concluded, an edited DVD will be issued to the media. Printed materials will be signed out to media to report on. All media graphics will be prepared prior to the event to be used in television media markets. Soundbites of the speech will be carefully edited and made available to radion media markets. Electronic and printed photographs (screened by team of lawyers and media relations specialists) will be made available to the media.

6. Absolutely no live question and answer period except for pre-screened prepared questions authored by the candidate staff and team of lawyers and media relations specialists. These will be edited by team of lawyers and media relations specialists for any discrepancies or possible misinterpretations.

This is the only way to beat the mainstream media at the Gotcha Game.