JOB MARKET SET TO IMPROVE ON NOVEMBER 8TH

[NanceGreggs]

JOB MARKET SET TO IMPROVE ON NOVEMBER 8TH!
By Nancy Greggs

GOP EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES
$$$$$ WE WILL PAY CA$H!!! $$$$$

Are you down on your luck? Has the present robust economy not yet trickled down to you? Do you need CA$H – fast? We can help!


PAPER SHREDDERS NEEDED!
If you can shred documents at a good, steady pace, WE NEED YOU. Please call White House ASAP!

COMPUTER TECHNICIANS PLEASE CALL!
If you have the ability to delete email correspondence from a computer so as to render it permanently irretrievable, we will pay BIG BUCKS! Please call White House ASAP!

RECENTLY CALLED TO THE BAR AND LOOKING FOR IMMEDIATE FULL-TIME EMPLOYMENT?
We need lawyers NOW. Experience preferred but not necessary. Many high-powered Republicans will require your services and have $$$ to spend! Please call RNC now – and use our handy toll-free number!

ATTENTION PHOTOSHOPPERS!!!
Here’s a chance to convert your talent into CASH MONEY! If you can retouch photos to eliminate certain 'undesirable individuals' from group shots (stills and/or video footage), we can put you to work TODAY! Please call White House ASAP!

MSM DISTRACTIONS NEEDED: Immediate openings now waiting to be filled:

Are you about to be married within the next few weeks? Are you willing to board a Greyhound and claim you’ve been kidnapped? We will pay TOP dollar to all runaway brides, plus cover meals and traveling expenses. Please call ASAP!

Do you have a teenage daughter who longs for a getaway in the Bahamas? First class plane tickets available to the right applicant, plus luxuriously-appointed ‘hideaway’ cabin for use during the media “she’s-gone-missing” frenzy. Must hold valid passport and be available for immediate travel!

If you can plausibly connect yourself to a major crime from the past, your financial worries may well be over.

Could YOU have kidnapped the Lindbergh baby? Could YOU have been responsible for Amelia Earhart’s sudden disappearance?

If you are willing to (temporarily) confess to ANYTHING that will capture the headlines for a two to three-week period, you’re our man/woman! NO reasonable ‘cold case’ refused!

The job market may be picking up on November 8, 2006!

[Joe for Clark]

1. Funny.

Joe

[NanceGreggs]

2. Thanks.

Nance.

[JeffR]

3. This may offset the dozens of newly-unemployed Republicans...

:spray: