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Halliburtion/K.B.R. Corporation Bill for Hanging Services Provided...
Special "Hanging Rope........... $50,000/ft (per foot)(x200,000 ft)
(excess rope used for practice, testing, spare in case of failure and advance preparation for future hangings; price includes charges for development project to design such a special, superior, hair/beard resistant rope)
--Total Rope Cost...............$10,000,000,000
Book on tying knots............. $12,332
Video on tying Hangman Knot..... $22,110
Rubber Handled Hammer........... $5,999
Stainless Steel Nails........... $7,728
Imported U.S. Lumber............ $25,550
Instructions to Build Gallows... $93,000
Video on Building Gallows....... $144,441
Book of Hanging Jokes........... $1,200
Translation of Hanging Jokes.... $119,900
Self-Help Psychology Books...... $9,706ea (x48)
(for involved U.S. personnel: psychologists, materiel transport drivers, gallows builder/contractors, knot tying personnel, joke translators and anyone who had anything to do with assisting the IRAQI personnel in performance of hanging associated duties)
--Total Self-Help Cost.......... $465,888
Shipping........................ $750,000
Contract Labor/Construction..... $881,998
Transportation.................. $95,799
Service Fee..................... $220,000
Export Licensing................ $75,000
Import Tariff................... $111,111
(collected on behalf of the government of IRAQ (wink, wink, nod, nod))
Black Woolen Hood............... $3,212
Grey/Black Striped Pant/Shirt... $9,051
Leather House Shoes............. $1,909
Grey Socks...................... $880ea (x2)
--Total Sock Cost............... $1,760
Grey Carbon-Fiber Boxer Shorts.. $18,221/pair (x1 pair)
(Carbon-Fiber/Carbon Impregnated = Soil Resistant/Odor Reducing)
Special "Hanging" Video Camera.. $7,222,299,303
(Capable of videotaping in color through 6ft of concrete/rock; corporate developmental costs included--except rush development fee. Required because the hanging will be performed in a small blast-bunker with 5 foot thick concrete walls, and there was insufficient room for proper camera placement (and it's against IRAQI tradition and Muslim religious laws to videotape a hanging-execution, but GWB wanted a video of the event))
Copies of Videos................ $5,000ea (x200)
--Total Copies Cost............. $1,000,000
Mailing Fees.................... $50ea (x200)
--Total Mailing Cost............ $10,000
Handling Fees................... $10ea (x200)
--Total Handling Cost........... $2,000
"Rush" Camera Development Fee... $2,000,000,000
Miscellaneous Costs/Charges.....$76,180,800,002
Note: According to U.S. Contractual Agreement With K.B.R. Inc., K.B.R. Inc. is not legally required to provide any evidence of the actual costs, materials, charges or fee schedules used, either at the time of service or in perpetuity, while the U.S. Treasury is required by law to indemnify K.B.R. Inc. immediately upon receipt of itemized (to K.B.R.'s satisfaction) Bill. All such payments or indemnifications shall be considered final and non-refundable. K.B.R. Inc. makes no guarantee, either express or written of, for or about any of it's provided products or services. Further, no witholdings may be made by the Treasure for any purpose, including obtaining Federal Tax obligations or any other claim as this has been expressly forbidden and written into U.S. Tax Law by Congress on behalf of K.B.R. Inc.
Bill Preparation Fee............ $154,303
Postage Costs................... $19
Total: Well Over $96 BILLION DOLLARS... Just to assist the IRAQI's in hanging Saddam (and get private home movies for GWB).
Oops. I forgot food, clothing, housing, recreation, party favors and supplies, video transmission costs, expert technical specialist contractor fees... and on, and on, and on.
Somehow, I doubt that I'm exaggerating... much.
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