Colbert in Florida: " America's Got Peninsula Envy"

[seafan]

Colbert: America's Got Peninsula Envy

November 17, 2006

Political satirist Stephen Colbert rocked Leon County Civic Center Friday night as the headliner for Florida State University's PowWow, dubbing it "Stephen Colbert's Trail of Cheers." Highlights of his other Florida-specific material:

As he led the crowd in the Tomahawk Chop: "It's not for me to tell you how to do your racist chant....I wish there was a wagon train we could burn down."

On FSU Offensive Coordinator Jeff Bowden's departure: "Before a booster offers the job to me...let me just say I'm willing to NOT do the job for $100,000 a year."

On Gov.-elect Charlie Crist: "Crist is only one letter away from Christ and we know God picks our leaders. President Bush has made that clear!"

The rest of America (Colbert said in a special edition of his "The Word" feature from his nightly show) has "Peninsula Envy" of Florida for its endless slew of insane stories; and if it wasn't for Florida, George Bush wouldn't have been elected President, "He Wasn't."

He suggested cutting Florida clean from the continential United States: "This state would be much happier floating around like some pirate ship terrorizing its neighbors."

And of Tallahassee, as he looked at a projected image of the state, "Some people say it's in the armpit of Florida...I say it's where America's balls would be if America still had balls."