CNN's Glenn Beck - Keepin' America Safe From Fanatics

NanceGreggs

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Wed Nov-22-06 08:29 PM
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CNN's Glenn Beck - Keepin' America Safe From Fanatics

Mr. Glenn Beck
C/o CNN Headline News

My Dear Mr. Beck:

Well, here I am writing to one of my favorite TV actors, and I wouldn’t take up your valuable time if it weren’t for something of major national security importance.

I guess I should start by telling you how much I enjoy every episode of the Glenn Beck Show. Not only are you fair and balanced, you also give me the nightly heads-up on who to be terrified of on a regular basis, for which I am truly grateful.

(Ain’t nothing more pitiful than being afraid of Osama Bin Laden when everybody else is now all scared of that Iranian president – I DO like to keep up, so as I don’t look the fool in that kind of happenstance.)

Now, ordinarily I wouldn’t ask the question I am about to ask. But being as you set the stage yourself, I feel comfortable with just putting this right out there in plain language.

A couple of weeks ago, you had that Keith Ellison fella on your program – you know, that man what just won the Congressional race in Minnesota – and being as he’s one of ‘them’ (if you get my drift), you come right and asked him THE question what all of America had on its mind.

After pointing out to Mr. Ellison that he was a Muslim (which I think he already knew, but it was kindly of you to remind him), you said:

“You are a Democrat. You are saying, "Let’s cut and run." And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, ‘Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.’”

Now, a lot of folks apparently took offence to your being so blunt, but I for one applauded your being so overboard (or is that aboveboard?) These are questions that MUST be asked, when we see certain people of certain ‘religious persuasions’, if you will, infiltrating our government.

In keeping with that, I know you won’t mind me bringing up this whole Warren Jeffs thing I see on the CNN every night now. He’s a Mormon (as you probably know, being one yourself and all) and it looks like he’s been doing some really un-American stuff. There’s this multiple marriage thing, which is bad enough but not the worst of it.

There’s kids involved, what with girls as young as fourteen being forced to marry first cousins and old men, and whatnot. There’s also the issue of child labor, little kids working all day and having to turn their earnings over to none other than Mr. Jeffs himself, who ain’t exactly hurting for money.

So, if you don’t mind, Mr. Beck, I’d like – as you put it yourself with that duly-elected Ellison fella – “to have five minutes here where we’re just politically incorrect, and I play the cards face up on the table” – and ask you straight up: "Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies."

That may seem a bit brash, but as you said to that Ellison man: “I’m not accusing you of being an enemy, but that’s the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way.”

It’s not that I am anti-Mormon, Mr. Beck, but as you keep reminding us – day in and day out – we live in dangerous times, and we have to be vigilant against people who share a religious background with our country’s sworn enemies, like this here Mr. Jeffs.

It’s like you said about the Muslims: “No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I`ve been to mosques. I really don`t believe that Islam is a religion of evil.” Well, sir, it’s like that with me when it comes to the Mormons. I’ve seen their TV commercials, which makes them seem like regular people – and the Good Lord knows they have one heck of a choir.

But I just need to be assured, as do the rest of your viewers, that you are not one of these unpatriotic types that defies our country’s “marriage is between one man and one woman” laws. I need to know for a fact that you and your kind are not ALL pro-child rape and child labor. I think American citizens everywhere need you to come right out and prove that you are not “one of THEM”.

Maybe you could have Orrin Hatch on your show sometime soon, and that Romney fella from out east. Then you could ALL prove, once and for all, that this Mormon thing isn’t an attempt by religious fanatics to take over our country for their own evil purposes.

It’s like you said on that same program, “I saw a recent poll that showed 25 percent of Muslims in America will not report a terrorist plot if they see it.”

Well, ain’t that a fine how-do-you-do? I know you must have got that information from a good, reliable source – so I’m wondering if you could go back and find out what percentage of Mormons wouldn’t report a Latter Day Saints plot if they would see it? Good Lord, it just chills the blood thinking about it, don’t it?

It’s bad enough I have to look under my bed every night to make sure there ain’t no Muslim under there who’s looking to kill me, first chance he gets – I don’t want to have to be looking for no crazy Mormons under there, too. A body can only stand so much terrorism at a time.

Well, I will leave this in your more than capable hands, Mr. Beck. I just KNOW you’ll do the right thing by me, and your fellow citizens, by coming clean on whatever you know about this Mormon plot to defile our young women and our enslave our children, contrary to God’s plan and the Constitution of the United States of America.

Yours Most Truly,
An Avid Fan

P.S. Just wanted to add that Timothy McVeigh, the one what blew up that building in Oklahoma, was a Catholic. Maybe you should start looking into the Papist conspiracies too, just while you’re at it. In these troubled times, you just can’t be TOO careful.