Nothing To Fear But Bush's Fear, Itself

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This week's hot blog topics and notable DU quotes: Amway gets Google-bombed, big time; Hannity's making a list of enemies of the state (stop laughing!); Michele Malkin should be served on toast; the Anti-Rights Nazi says, "No divorce for you, Heteros!"; Stewart-Colbert campaign denies dirty tricks; Bush smells like fear; and Saddam was to Iraq as the butt plug is to the hibernating bear. All this and much more. Enjoy! Really. I'm not kidding about the butt plug analogy. Just read it, damn it. You'll be glad you did.

Let's face it: Our pResident is afraid. If you caught the surge speech this week, you no doubt noticed the fear in his eyes. If you stayed for the media aftermath, you no doubt noticed the fear in their eyes, too. Conspiracy of Happiness sums up the surge speech:

Bush Whacked!
January 11th, 2007

He's at it again! Click here for a transcript of last night's speech... that way you don't have to hear it with his idiotic drawl that sounds like he was hardly educated in a prestigious Ivy League school:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/01/10/bush.transcript/index.html

What we're seeing here is an increase in troops to a region that has clearly devolved into sectarian violence, i.e. civil war without any clear understanding of how this is different from our original plan of "stay the course". This is "stay the course" with more troops. I feel sorry for the 21,500 people who are now going to have to be deployed to fuel a civil war in a country that is hardly democratic. They should just start calling it the People's Democratic Republic of Iraq. Because everybody knows that any country that calls itself democratic has to be (North Korea, Congo, East Timor).

Anyway, most of the rest is just rhetoric about how he's made mistakes and accepts the blame, but he swears that this time will be different because the Iraqi PM promises that things will get better with a zero tolerance policy for sectarian outlaws. Hooey, I say.

See you in the funny papers!

Hooey, indeed. Other notable surge speech blog posts: Monkeyfister (not for the squeamish); Take That, Right Wing Nut Scum!; and The Blue Herald.

Remember when Dems had to hold pseudo-hearings in basement closets on Capitol Hill? Remember when Republican'ts laughed at the Dems' Minority Party Rights proposal? Remember when Republican'ts whined that the mean old Democrats were obstructing America's progress, even though the Dems had no power? Well, they're still whining to high heaven. They're also still acting like they're in charge and that the vast majority of Americans support their fascist asses.

Who was holding a gun to the heads of Republicans and insisting that they ignore the minority party... before the Republicans became the minority party? Vaguely Logical wants to know. And Vaguely has also compiled a list of whiners and quotes in a must-read post called, "republicans speak up, to my amusement." Damn. They sure are speaking up, aren't they? Suddenly, they're all for bipartisanship, minority party rights, and guaranteed input into proposed legislation. And people in hell want ice water too, don't they? Speaking of hell...

If you missed the dumb-assed Michele Maklinization of a bona fide Associated Press source in Iraq, Bob Geiger has the dirty details, along with these words of wisdom:

This is the last I will speak of this episode because, to a large extent, discovering that a bunch of conservative bloggers and their pathetic readers have been smearing a person or organization based on total fiction is hardly news. This is what these people do -- it's part of their lifestyle. To push that issue is like asking a Republican Congressman to use a computer with his pants on.

Next month, it will be something else and, once the presidential campaign heats up, get ready for a tsunami of unsubstantiated slime. I'm guessing it will be that Hillary Clinton is carrying Jamil Hussein's love child, but who knows what they'll come up with next time? John Edwards' mind controlled by space aliens, anyone?

Rest assured, y'all. Rudy Giuliani will get tons of positive press as we approach the 2008 presidential election. Why, this week, the Stewart-Colbert campaign is already denying that they stole Rudolph's campaign playbook. Political Cortex reports from the early campaign trail:

Stewart/Colbert '08 Campaign Denies Releasing Giuliani Playbook

By Dood Abides

Oops! Wrong photo. Wait a minute, y'all. What's Bush* doing with disgraced and convicted lobbyist, Jack Abramoff? Weren't we assured by the White house that Bush didn't know Jack about Jack? Hmm. The People's Republic of Seabrook wants to know what else they're lying about.

We now return you to the Stewart-Colbert/ Rudy's Campaign Playbook scandal:

Washington, DC (UPSI) - Aides to 2008 presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani today leveled accusations at the fledgling bipartisan Stewart/Colbert '08 Campaign in regards to the recent theft and publication of Giuliani's 140 page 2008 presidential campaign playbook. Initially they had proposed that the document was covertly stolen by airport baggage handlers and photocopied by tricksters for another campaign, but they today produced photographic evidence showing Jon Stewart in possession of the disputed documents at a Giuliani press conference in New York, hours before the former mayor had left for the airport. The playbook in its entirety was subsequently released anonymously to the press, with many feeling that the revelations might ultimately be proven fatal to Giuliani's run for the presidency.

The Stewart/Colbert '08 campaign arranged for an exclusive interview for UPSI with the two candidates, in which they vehemently denied culpability.

"We're standing there for a photo op," stated presidential hopeful Jon Stewart, "and then Rudy suddenly hands me this bag, and says "Here, hold this while I straighten my tie.". What am I supposed to do? Here's the former mayor of New York City asking for a little favor... I guess he just forgot about the bag after a few pictures and some more talking. That sucker was heavy... and I got tired of holding it after a few minutes. I remember thinking, what in the heck does he have in here, a dictionary... or maybe his entire plans for capturing the presidency...? Nah... Stephen was standing there so I just gave it to him and followed Rudy over to the wet bar for another gin and tonic."

Um, Rudy? Dude, you might want to read the next few paragraphs carefully. You and your multiple-marriage cohorts could be in big trouble.

No More Divorce. Ever.

Fitting. The woman behind Virginia's "End No-Fault Divorce" drive is named Victoria Cobb (insert "from Upper Buttcrack" here). Pam at Pam's House Blend writes:

Yeah, we told you it was coming, folks. After the bible-thumping goons who successfully passed an amendment barring gays and lesbians from marrying (as well as civil unions and tossing private DP arrangements into legal jeopardy), it was only a matter of time before they went after hets. Misery loves company -- welcome aboard.

Hmm. That law would make Nancy Reagan a common whore and her children all bastards. Add McCain and current family to that list of multi-married 2008 contenders. Oh, well. No problem for Republican'ts. Just in time to save their day... Exhume Goldwater 08. So far, it's just one post and some hilarious merchandise for sale, but this blog has promise. Hey! If their only viable '08 candidate is... um, deceased, then...

Just Who's In Charge Around Here?

L'Etat, C'est... Hannity? Sean (Bean Face) Hannity embraces his inner Stalin. Election Central has the scoop and the video. "Enemy Of The State," my ass.

L'Etat, C'est... Fox News? Fox & Friends had a fun time thwacking Speaker of the House, Nacy Pelosi, as well as Rep. Jane Harmon. News Hounds notes:

Fox News displayed a banner reading "Congress Catfight." The term "catfight" is a belittling term often used to ridicule disagreements among women, casting them as fights among animals (especially an animal that is often seen as fickle and hard to understand like a cat). Saying a disagreement among women is a "catfight" is akin to saying that the women are less than human and their disagreement is based on something other than rationallity, intellect or principle. Men do battle. Women have catfights.

This subtle swipe was not the end of Fox News' efforts to belittle the new speaker.

L'Etat, C'est... Amway? Scoobie Davis' google bomb of Amway/Quixtar has been a huge success so far, bumping up sites critical of the billionaire Bushbot donors into the top ten on Google searches of "Amway" and or "Amway/Quixtar." Congrats, Scoobie! One of the sites in Google's top ten uses the word "cult." As for cults, is there a better word to describe Bush* and his inner circle? Oops. Is the inner circle shrinking?

Where's Condi Going?

Rumor has it that failed National Security Advisor/ Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, is on her way... either up or out. War and Piece writes that even Al Kamen is speculating on Condi's future. Of course, there's always the problem of whether or not to believe what you read in the newspaper...

When Is A Newspaper Not A News Paper?

When it's a Gannet "Information Center." Not kidding. Paul V at Brainshrub.com explains the whole dirty deal beautifully. "Money for nothing and plagiarized blog posts for free" must be Gannet's new motto.

Calling All Bloggers!

Shakespeare's Sister is hosting the next Carnival Of The Liberals on Jan. 17th. Submit your best stuff and consider hosting a future carnival. If you missed the last edition, check it out at Daylight Atheism.

Thank A DUer!

Thanks to AZ for explaining the fecal-icious consequences of invading Iraq and... er, eliminating Saddam:

The bear buttplug analogy

Just before bears begin to hibernate they eat a lot of grass and leaves. Substances that don't digest easily. This forms a pulpy mass that lodges in their sphincter in order to prevent them from soiling themselves and their nest during the long months of hibernation. In the spring the plug is removed and .... a disgusting part of nature takes its course.

Saddam Hussein was Iraq's buttplug. He was an ugly disgusting thing holding back something even worse. But some people decided that the plug needed to be removed because it was a disgusting thing. And now America has bear shit all over it. With Saddam gone we suddenly found ourselves trying to cram our own soldiers into the breech to stem the flow of excrement. But that's not the way it works. So we sit there trying to cram our soldiers into the hole all the while being covered in more and more effluence.

Nasty visual, excellent analysis.

To Feles Mala, who points out a fact that bears (cough) repeating:

What about the Republicans opposed to the Prez?

And many thanks to Aviation Pro for the best response to Bush*'s Madhatter-esque "troop surge" speech:

You know what this is?

This is the face of fear, which, apparently, 70% of Americans don't have:


On the other hand, we do have the face of anger and it's pointed squarely in the direction of the face of fear.

Madam Speaker, Leader Hoyer, Leader Conyers, Leader Leahy, Leader Reid, it's time to do the will of the people.

It feels like the mid-terms never happened, doesn't it? Same old Republican't dirty tricks and "be afraid!" warnings. However, it looks like the media is waking up from hibernation mode. It never fails, does it? The media ignores Democrats until they're in power, then suddenly starts doing its job when Republican'ts scream bloody murder as the minority party.

Let's put some real fear into these fear-of-their-legacy losers this year. We can make sure that they go down in history as the custardy cowards and hate-everyone-but-their-own-kind, "now watch this drive" flying monkeys that they are.

History always starts today, y'all. Let's get busy!

-- Delilah Boyd