http://www.openleft.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=2750I want to also explain why deciding to vote for Edwards, at least now, doesn't mean I'm excited enough to conduct activism on his behalf. The truth is, leaving all of these intellectual, process-of-elimination arguments aside, in my gut I always wanted to support Barack Obama.
. . .
I have written far longer posts about Obama than any other Democratic candidate. I did this because he interests me more than the other candidates, and I was always looking for an intellectual argument that worked for me enough to support him in the primaries. It just didn't happen, however. Over the past four years, I have consistently worked to try and build progressive power, and to stop Democratic tendency to distance itself from the left. As such, in a contested primary where other candidates are either equal or superior on policy, I'm not going to work for the candidate who does more to distance himself from the left than all the other candidates in the field. That conflicts with my sense of pride, my political goals and with simple intellectual consistency. In short, it is a predominantly emotional response that cancels out my predominantly emotional, gut-level excitement for Obama..
And so, without a prevailing gut-level preference, I'm left with intellectual process of elimination. It is enough for me to favor Edwards both in theory and in the voting booth, but it isn't enough for me to spend time conducting activism on his behalf. In order for that to happen, I need my gut and my mind to work in concert. I'm not as excited about Edwards, but I'm not as disturbed by him, either. I know that isn't the most rousing endorsement of a candidate I can muster, but I'm not in the rousing endorsement mood this primary season. Hell, if I was in Iowa, I might even start the evening of January 3rd by caucusing with Richardson, because he did such a great service with the residual force argument and because he was willing to bring bloggers into the decision-making process on that issue (it really felt to me like a huge step forward for blogging when that happened). And then, once the second round of the caucus begins, I'd shift to Edwards whether Richardson was viable or not.
I wish my gut and my mind were working in conjunction this time around, as they did for Howard Dean in 2003-4, but it just never happened. It leaves a profoundly unsatisfying feeling, but after a full year of watching this campaign I don't think that will change now. That is the way it goes sometimes, I guess.