What do YOU Want for Christmas - 2010?

[NanceGreggs]

Here’s some headlines I’m wishing for in December 2010 – please add your own!

“Hague Steps Up Security Measures as Bush/Cheney War Crimes Trial Begins”

“Cigna Joins Long List of Insurance Companies to Declare Bankruptcy Due to Lawsuit Payouts”

“Dumpster-Diving Homeless Woman Positively Identified as Barbara 'Babs' Bush”

“Diebold Stock Hits .00002-Cents-Per-Share”

“Country Marks First Anniversary of Last US Troop to Leave Iraq”

“Halliburton Execs Plead No Contest in Latest Trial”

“Bill O’Reilly – Ann Coulter – Rush Limbaugh: A Look at the ‘Where are they NOW’ files”

“Karl Rove – The Untold Story of Federal Prisoner No. 3489763”

“Former US Embassy in Baghdad Re-opens as Hospital/Educational Center under Iraqi Rule”

“FOX-News – A Retrospective Look at the Collapse of a Network”

“FCC Chair Keith Olbermann To Hold Presser Today”

“Stewart/Colbert Launch New Cable-News Network”

“Ava Lowry – Will Recent Oscar and Emmy Wins Lead to Becoming Youngest Nobel Peace Prize Recipient?”

“Dixie Chicks Celebrate Their 30th Platinum CD in a Row!”

“Kerik Sings Like a Canary – AG Fitzpatrick Sets Giuliani Trial Date for September 11th”

“Fred Thompson STILL ALIVE – ‘Was Only Sleeping’ says Stunned Coroner”

“First Fatality of Homosexual Right-to-Marry Law: Larry Craig Divorces Gay Partner”

“NOLA Declared ‘Model City’ as Latest Low-Income Housing Complex Nears Completion”

“Valerie Plame and Sibel Edmonds share TIME Magazine’s ‘Man Women of the Year’ Cover”

“Gitmo – Donald Rumsfeld First Prisonser Sent to New Home for Condemned Torturers”

“Big Oil & Big Pharma Forced to Pay Billions in Back Taxes After Recent Audit”

“US Universal Health Care – The Success Story of the Century”

“DemocraticUnderground Admins Accept Best Website of the 21st Century Award”

And your most-wished-for December 2010 headline is …

[Sparkly]

1. I'm too preoccupied laughing to think of one myself!

‘Was Only Sleeping’ says Stunned Coroner :rofl:

[marmar]

2. "African Union and Latin American state-run banks forgive US and European debts."

:)

[TomInTib]

3. Does "All of the Above" count, Nance? nt

[onehandle]

4. "Flying Cars Aplenty!"

2000 came and went and I still didn't have my flying car they promised me when I was a kid.

[Catchawave]

5. To be President Edwards'

"Betty Currie" but better :D

[waiting for hope]

6. Alberto Gonzalas -

Getting good behavior for giving legal advice to fellow inmates.

[NanceGreggs]

8. GREAT ADDITION!!!

As an alternative: "Gonzo Recovers Memory - Former BushCo Cabinet Members Face Additional Charges"

:rofl:

[waiting for hope]

10. I like yours better!

:rofl:

[Faygo Kid]

7. "Ex-President Bush Jailed for War Crimes, Corruption"

I thought about a nice one about health care or the environment or an end to war because it's Christmas, but the hell with it.

[babylonsister]

9. "Bush family flees to Argentina to escape collective American wrath" nt

[Kucinich4America]

11. "Clintons Retire from Politics for Good"

After an embarassing primary loss in early 2008, Senator Hillary Clinton has announced that she will retire permanently from politics, after her current term in the Senate ends in 2012. Her husband, former President Bill Clinton has not been seen in public since the 2008 Iowa primary, and has privately told friends that he will never be involved in an election again.

[Beacool]

22. You're too funny, dream on!!!!!

More likely, the guy in your avatar will retire from politics.

[pepperbear]

12. Here's a REAL fantasy for ya.....

Evidence of election fraud in 2000 and 2004 comes to light.

meanwhile....

Canadian inventor stumbles upon energy source powerful enough to turn back time.

U.S votes for "do-over" of years 2000-2009.

[NanceGreggs]

13. LOVE IT!!! n/t

[mac2]

14. Great list...

In this world we can be anything we want. There are many possibilities. A better world and peace for the twenty first century is what I wish. If we don't get that we're in big trouble...all the animals (including humans).

[tbyg52]

15. I knew there was a reason I was still up!

I get to be #10 for a Nance thread!

Edited to say:
:woohoo:

[Liberty Belle]

16. "Surgeon General Howard Dean Praises Signing of Universal Single-Payer Healthcare Bill for All"

"Congress Repeals Patriot Act, Restores Habeus Corpus"



"President Edwards Cuts Ribbon on Rebuilt 9th Ward in New Orleans;
Hecukva-Job Brownie Spotted in Unemployment Line"

[Liberty Belle]

17. National Enquirer: "Sinkhole Swallows Ex-VP Dick Cheney; Witnesses Report Odor of Brimstone"

[NanceGreggs]

18. ...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[tomreedtoon]

19. "Fusion Energy Ends Oil Use: Middle East Walled Off"

Rolla, MO: It was ten years ago that scientists at the University of Missouri - Rolla discovered safe, clean, fusion energy could be made in small enough packages to operate automobiles, motorcycles, and the newly-improved two-passenger "trike" cars imported from Great Britain.

"Being able to make clean, safe and plentiful energy from human waste was once considered disgusting," said Dr. Philo Benderdender. "But it's become the greatest benefit to the human race since the invention of the bidet."

Because the byproduct of the fusion reaction is lubricant to assure the free running of any machinery, there is no longer a need to import oil. With this plan, U.S. President Miley Cyrus has implemented Operation Pink Tupperware, which effectively seals off the entire Middle East from the rest of the planet. The entire subcontinent is a no-fly zone, immigration from the area requires a stringent one-year process and is limited to 500 people a year. Anyone entering the area is warned that they will have lost their citizenship in their native land and will have to apply for re-entry like any other immigrant.

"It pains me to say that they have not yet learned that outright killing of anyone who doesn't like a particular belief or creed is not a way to live in the 21st Century," President Cyrus said. "But all attempts to teach this lesson have failed."

General Harvey Fierstein will be in charge of the cordon, and has placed ninety percent of NATO's heavy armor and troops around the borders. "It's actually light duty," Fierstein confirmed. "The greatest threat our troops face is loss of income in poker games."

U.N. Secretary General Masi Oka has praised this decision, as well as Russia's agreement to enforce the same restriction on its borders. "At last, the greatest threat to world peace - the battle for petroleum - has been rendered moot. Now, with the unlimited energy coming to the Rolla Reactor, we can apply our energies to improving life on Earth for the poor and frightened - and to the exploration of our solar system and perhaps worlds beyond. It would be wonderful if the people of the Middle East could share in our bountiful future...but hell, they pissed off the rest of us a long time ago. OPEC, my ass."

[sailor65]

20. We have a winner!!! n/t

[sailor65]

21. Germany, Italy, and France

finally pay war debt.

United States now richest country in Milky Way.

[tavalon]

27. I don't know

I'm not sure this empire needs to get any richer.

[JeffR]

23. Free Republic shuts its doors

leaving only a dummy page with the simple message: Nance, yew peepul wre rite, wee wer rong. Whe givup, nevver minde.

[Mother Of Four]

24. "For the first time in America, No child went hungry tonight"

"The American Dollar at an all time high"

"Hydroelectronics grant successful! Mainstream cars that can run on Sea Water"

"Cure for paralysis found, along with cure for HIV/AIDS"

"Monogamy at all time high, Divorce at all time low"

"Health Today: STD's cut by more than 50% in the last 2 years"

"Taking back the midwest: The rise of the Family Farm"

"Natural alternative to pesticides found, and its cheap!"

[tavalon]

28. Um, I'm a polyamorist.

I suppose it's okay if monogamy is at an all time high but could we also have some love for the people who don't want to just pair off, but prefer the triad or the quad or........

[Mother Of Four]

29. Monogamy might be a bad word...how about this..

Solidarity and faithfulness to ones 'Partners' however many may be in the agreed relationship following the personal beliefs of that relationship as well.

(Wow thats a mouthful)

To me ...Monogomay (Although Mono means one) is more being faithful than anything else. Another way to say it is this ..."Adultery and/or broken homes at an all time low"


Is that better?


(Also FYI, Unca Vic and Unca Frank were life partners for more than 27 years...so broken homes and adultery to me don't just mean "one man one woman" its any committed relationship, even one with multiple partners)

[tavalon]

30. Yes, thank you!

Absolutely agree! The other phrase we use instead of polyamory is responsible non-monogamy. It's more than possible to cheat even in poly and I've seen crap that is no different from the infidelity that happens too often in monogamy. "Adultery and/or broken homes at an all time low" is a worthy headline.

And, again, thank you! My wife and my husband and his girlfriend and my boyfriend thank you or they likely will when I get around to telling them. LOL!

[Mother Of Four]

31. That made me smile :D

:loveya: Happieness to you and yours

[argyl]

25. "Badhdad Green Zone Opened Up As Shelter For Homeless,Displaced Iraqis"

[tavalon]

26. You took almost all the best ones! Almost.....

"Former United States peacefully divided into three different countries last year. Oregon and Western Washington at that time joined Canada to form the The New Canadian States"

"President Gore signs new Kyoto Accord and offers to make sure that The New Canadian States come in under the limits by 2012"

"Jesusland suffering from a brain drain as the best and brightest emigrate to The New Canadian States."

[orleans]

32. oh god--i just found this on the duzy! I LOVE THIS THREAD. (kick!) n/t

[Catchawave]

33. President Edwards names Democratic Underground Official White House Website.

Mods jump off a bridge :+