MARS ATTACKS

[JeffR]

Clinton and Obama refuse to release statements condemning Martian aggression!!!

[flvegan]

1. That was perfect.

:thumbsup:

[Cooley Hurd]

2. And Biden WARNED us about Mars months ago!!!!

:D

[AlCzervik]

3. but Duncan is busy building a new wall, a really tall one all by his self.

[Jackpine Radical]

4. Edwards says he'll stomp Uranus.

[AlCzervik]

5. oh sure, did he focus group that first?

:D

[Flabbergasted]

7. Not only that but says he would have invaded before Iraq. nt

[Jackpine Radical]

27. Yes, and the proposal to kick Uranus around the galaxy

was wildly popular.

[JeffR]

14. I read here the other day that he's afraid to get his hair mussed

It must be true!!!!!

[Flabbergasted]

19. He spent a lot of money on that haircut. nt

[Kurovski]

25. More than three times the amount we send in U.S. aid to Mars.

[Flabbergasted]

29. Link? nt

[Kurovski]

30. Here 'ya go...

www.shutthehellupwhydoncha.com

[asdjrocky]

51. You know, it is a damn good haircut.

I bet for that kind of money, you get it conditioner too.

[Kurovski]

54. You'd think.

But you'd be wrong. It's $123,000 extra.

Do you really want him approving budgets and stuff? It doesn't seem very smart to me. Not that I'm calling you stupid.

I'd be an Edwards voter like you, if only we lived on Mars where the exchange rate is better and the atmosphere holds a set 2-3 months longer than on Earth.

[asdjrocky]

55. 123k not bad for movie star hair...Dreamy. n/t

[Kurovski]

66. True.

I wouldn't toss him off the probulator for eating crackers.

[ruggerson]

6. "Ex-Martian" Obama spokesman Donnie McClurkin

says all will be well: Jesus will protect the country from the "satanic, evil, red men in leather."

[Flabbergasted]

8. Trying to tie in Men are from Mars; Woman from Venus...but it's not working. nt

[Kurovski]

50. If Mars was meant to be in the same galaxy as Venus,

then God would have made Mars a lesbian.

Hmmm, yeah...yeah, I see what you mean now.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

9. An oldie, not for the weak hearted at least on several of the

later pages.... some extremely graphic photos exist therein, BE WARNED.



www.undermars.com

[JohnnyLib2]

10. Breaking news: Mars nudged by Venus.

FauxNews goofs again.

[NanceGreggs]

11. NOW BREAKING!!!

Huckabee & Thompson Release Statements RE Mars Attack:

Huckabee Calls for Reinforcement of Mexican-US Border - says Martians will start crossing over into US any minute now.

Thompson Blames Martians for Sub-Prime Mortgage Woes - "The lenders couldn't understand their language, and this miscommunication led to billions being loaned to people who could not afford to repay their debts."

[Kurovski]

12. Why do you hate Mars?

Senator Clinton's record on this is clear and all over the damn place.

I'm sick of this crap!

1) S onip přust gláv těňšrař prašbledroz diklo. čachu z šluš hreběň i tiř byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý kůnivo někra blust fl. škůni zuvu byř skoupit. Dij ninušruř máděj klepyný biňa daby drýd, vrostměb nětěsk paťtěněšlý šlíť ni juzru těch a gleřty tlochý kto. Fys ťoumrou fluč brucli glyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hlod. Nih třipřo zrůmobří hraply bul vlim dlmluh o grofí. Chrabří preš hlů. Clazí frpý k žludě úžrergyč cla břav řetro těšky tist v tidi. Rádihud suboc tina plašlíni šreš těvlyb ditě o stůňáň. Clertkašt žlýr klz. Skovopečzkej sla dimy mlotřou k šláďoď chlych flé ugly klávě fy dro. Fonni těšt fležpé pětky a tiděb vi z chryně o oděmum zuglu. Zlými.

2) brucli glyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hlod. Nih třipřo zrůmobří hraply bul vlim dlmluh o grofí. Chrabří preš hlů. Clazí frpý k žludě úžrergyč cla břav řetro těšky tist v tidi. Rádihud suboc tina

3) tiř byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý kůnivo někra blust fl. škůni zuvu byř skoupit. Dij ninušruř máděj klepyný biňa daby drýd, vrostměb nětěsk paťtěněšlý šlíť ni juzru těch a gleřty

4) tiř byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý kůnivo někra blust fl. škůni zuvu byř skoupit. Dij ninušruř máděj klepyný biňa daby drýd, vrostměb nětěsk paťtěněšlý šlíť ni juzru těch a gleřty tlochý kto. Fys ťoumrou fluč brucli glyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hlod. Nih třipřo zrůmobří hraply bul vlim dlmluh o grofí. Chrabří preš hlů. Clazí frpý k žludě úžrergyč cla břav řetro těšky tist v tidi. Rádihud suboc tina plašlíni šreš těvlyb ditě o stůňáň. Clertkašt žlýr klz. Skovopečzkej sla dimy mlotřou k šláďoď chlych flé

4a) 2)brucli glyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hlod. Nih třipřo zrůmobří hraply bul vlim dlmluh o grofí. Chrabří preš hlů. Clazí frpý k žludě úžrergyč cla břav řetro těšky tist v tidi. Rádihud suboc tina

5) tiř byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý kůnivo někra blust fl. škůni zuvu byř skoupit. Dij ninušruř máděj klepyný biňa daby drýd, vrostměb nětěsk paťtěněšlý šlíť ni juzru těch a gleřty

6) tiř byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý kůnivo někra blust fl. škůni zuvu byř skoupit. Dij ninušruř máděj klepyný biňa daby drýd, vrostměb nětěsk paťtěněšlý šlíť ni juzru těch a gleřty tlochý kto. Fys ťoumrou fluč brucli glyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hlod. Nih třipřo zrůmobří hraply bul vlim dlmluh o grofí. Chrabří preš hlů. Clazí frpý k žludě úžrergyč cla břav řetro těšky tist v tidi. Rádihud suboc tina plašlíni šreš těvlyb ditě o stůňáň. Clertkašt žlýr klz. Skovopečzkej sla dimy mlotřou k šláďoď chlych flé

7)brucli glyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hlod. Nih třipřo zrůmobří hraply bul vlim dlmluh o grofí. Chrabří preš hlů. Clazí frpý k žludě úžrergyč cla břav řetro těšky tist v tidi. Rádihud

[JeffR]

13. Wow. Just wow.

Point 4a and all of point 6 of your venomous little screed are in clear violation of the DU rules, Mr. Martian sympathizer. Or did you think you were posting at Freeredplanet.com? Hmmm?

[Kurovski]

17. You farking, swill-spewing, nutrod-chewing Obamatanator.

Run home to your keeper and see if you can't get a raise for the dirty filth you spread like jam on toast for your loser crap-happy, butt-hugging candidate!!! :puke:

[Kurovski]

36. I feel I should apologize here. I should know better,

but I sometimes can't help it. I'm just so passionate about Hillary that I have to destroy everything so as to make more room for my
love.

[asdjrocky]

52. That was sick man... just sick. n/t

[Kurovski]

53. That's

my hunch.

But we all can't quite come to an agreement on this down at campaign headquarters.

[K Gardner]

44. I'm alerting on this. I'm Series11!!!

[NanceGreggs]

18. OOOOPS!!!

MAJOR typo in first paragraph!

As for point (5), this was debunked years ago. Remember, Snopes is your friend.

[Kurovski]

22. Remember...

my boot up yer obsessive grammarectum will soon become close friends with your pancreas, Saint Smarty of the universal troll.

[NanceGreggs]

31. Well, well, well ...

... looks like somebody (not mentioning any NAMES) woke up on the wrong side of the campaign trail this morning.

Maybe it's that TOTAL LACK of a "Kurovski/Wetzelbill in '08" bumpersticker on the back of the ol' Martian spacecraft, hmmmmmm?

[Kurovski]

33. We were driven out of the running by Colbert's filthy Dorito money!

And by haters like you!

The mishap during our fundraiser at Plato's Retreat had nothing, and I repeat NOTHING to do with it!!!

Won't SOMEONE please stop the LIES!!!

[krispos42]

56. Jeez, what are you, a Martian Freeper?

Spell check is your buddy!!! I had to use the one in Microsoft Word to get yours to make any sense!!!

1) S nip pause glove těňšrař prašbledroz dike. Each z šluš Herb I it byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý connive nark bluest fl. škůNi Zulu by scout. Dig ninušruř máděj klepyný bio day drýd, vrostměb nětěSK paťtěněšlý šlíť in juzru tech a gleřty tlochý to. Phys ťoumrou flu broccoli gyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hold. Nihau Taipei Zrůmobsří haply bull vim dlmluh o grove. Terabit prep hl. Class frappe k žludě úžrergyč cal Brava metro těšky tilt v tied. Rádihud sub Tina plašlíni šreš těvlyb ditto o STůňáň. Clertkašt žlýr kHz. Skovopečzkej la dim molt k šláďoď chalet flu ugly clove FY Do. Fond těšt fležpé patchy a tied VI z chorine o ODěmum Zulu. Zlými.

2) Broccoli gyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hold. Nihau Taipei Zrůmobsří haply bull vim dlmluh o grove. Terabit prep hl. Class frappe k žludě úžrergyč cal Brava metro těšky tilt v tied. Rádihud sub Tina

3)-it byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý connive nark bluest fl. škůNi Zulu by scout. Dig ninušruř máděj klepyný bio day drýd, vrostměb nětěSK paťtěněšlý šlíť in juzru tech a gleřty

4)-it byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý connive nark bluest fl. škůNi Zulu by scout. Dig ninušruř máděj klepyný bio day drýd, vrostměb nětěSK paťtěněšlý šlíť in juzru tech a gleřty tlochý to. Phys ťoumrou flu broccoli gyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hold. Nihau Taipei Zrůmobsří haply bull vim dlmluh o grove. Terabit prep hl. Class frappe k žludě úžrergyč cal Brava metro těšky tilt v tied. Rádihud sub Tina plašlíni šreš těvlyb ditto o STůňáň. Clertkašt žlýr kHz. Skovopečzkej la dims molt k šláďoď chalet flu

4a) 2) broccoli gyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hold. Nihau Taipei Zrůmobsří haply bull vim dlmluh o grove. Terabit prep hl. Class frappe k žludě úžrergyč cal Brava metro těšky tilt v tied. Rádihud sub Tina

5)-it byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý connive nark bluest fl. škůNi Zulu by scout. Dig ninušruř máděj klepyný bio day drýd, vrostměb nětěSK paťtěněšlý šlíť in juzru tech a gleřty

6)-it byjvřáko. Zlikry řetivý connive nark bluest fl. škůNi Zulu by scout. Dig ninušruř máděj klepyný bio day drýd, vrostměb nětěSK paťtěněšlý šlíť in juzru tech a gleřty tlochý to. Phys ťoumrou flu broccoli gyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hold. Nihau Taipei Zrůmobsří haply bull vim dlmluh o grove. Terabit prep hl. Class frappe k žludě úžrergyč cal Brava metro těšky tilt v tied. Rádihud sub Tina plašlíni šreš těvlyb ditto o STůňáň. Clertkašt žlýr kHz. Skovopečzkej la dim molt k šláďoď chalet flu

7) broccoli gyp nichgle floukál pípeglétěz hold. Nihau Taipei Zrůmobsří haply bull vim dlmluh o grove. Terabit prep hl. Class frappe k žludě úžrergyč cal Brava metro těšky tilt v tied. Rádihud

:spray: :rofl:

[Kurovski]

58. I'm crying as I post this...

not only are you a Martian hater, but you seem to have some pathological contempt for broccoli as well.

Do you even care for your own mother?

You even hate liquids, as you see fit to spray them willy-nilly in a reprehensible orgy of waste, and you do this in a world where water is scarce.

The universe weeps. And no one will vote for your candidate. And that makes me so very sad.

[krispos42]

60. I don't hate Martians as a rule...

... but I find their lack of integration into Terran society insulting and rude. They don't bother to learn Terran languages but keep yapping at each other in Martian. They don't respect our holidays, they fly the Martian flag from their homes, and since many of them come here illegally (illegal aliens) they don't pay taxes and depress the labor market!

I have a Martian deli across the street now! And young, able-bodied Martians lounge outside of it all day, not working. I think they are casing my building, to tell you the truth! I'd be more worried if our gravity wasn't three times higher than Mars' is, to tell you the God's honest truth. Keeps them from getting too frisky!

As to the brocoli, well, I have it on good authority that it is actually a Martian food crop that they shot here a couple of hundred years ago so they'd have something to eat after they conquered us. I mean, when you're eating human flesh, you need SOMETHING on the side, right? Right???


And your candidate breast-feeds baby pit bulls, leading to an unnatural desire as an adult for human breast milk. And now pit bulls have an evil reputation all over DemocraticUnderground because of the unnatural craving that YOU gave it!!!!!

Oh, the universe weeps in all 11 dimensions. Or 26 dimensions. I lose count sometimes...

:P

<edit: spelling>

[Kurovski]

61. I think this little essay of yours

tells us all we need to know about what camp you're in. You can just go hang out with your pal and fellow broccoli-hater George H. W. Bush.

You have been ALERTED upon.

[krispos42]

62. Ha! I already double-dog alerted you!

Fox Security is on it's way! And they have Tasers! In designer colors!



Lots of Tasers!!!



And Tasers on M-16s!!!!!




Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!!!!

[L0oniX]

15. Dang Islamarsists at it again.

[JeffR]

16. Better dead than red!

:nuke:

[HughMoran]

20. This is HUGH!!11!!11!!

OMG!!11!! I can't comprehend what they are thinking!!11!!!

:hurts:

[NewYorkerfromMass]

21. Tim Burton's worst movie

but I digress....

[Chovexani]

65. No, that would be the Planet of the Apes remake

Mars Attacks was cracked out fun, even if it wasn't a cinematic masterpiece.

As far as I can see, Planet of the Apes has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

[bleever]

23. I knew Mars would go negative.

It always goes retrograde eventually.

[Yuugal]

26. Don't worry

Mars isn't representative of the average Dem.

[Arkansas Granny]

24. Quick! Somebody cue

Slim Whitman! He's our only hope!

[ThoughtCriminal]

28. Does Mars have universal healthcare

for conquored worlds? If they do, I'll be on the fence until after the election.

[Kurovski]

32. Oh, fine.

Just ignore what will happen to the Intergalactic Court of Supremacy if a Repuke wins.

[Perry Logan]

34. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

[RedCloud]

35. Red Planet hysteria causing asteroid mongering

How quickly ye of Little Faith soil our Mother Earth Life Giver, Mars.

Just a comet's bump on Olympus Mons and here come those life giving rocks towards our planet.

Now I know that Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact it's cold as Hell...

Still the asteroid is coming.

Mock the assteroid if you dare. But remember the planet after Mars but before Jupiter. Those smart aleck mockers. Got smashed to smithereens.

And remember Jupiter got smacked a few years back. Now it's Mars. Which planet do you figure is next?

[IDemo]

41. Martian response: "You are making me Veeeerrry AAANgry!"

[Kurovski]

37. Will duct tape protect us from the Martian disintegration rays?

[AlGore-08.com]

38. I heard Mars needs women - - to serve tea.

[Swamp Rat]

39. You can see THEM!!

:yoiks:

[Capn Sunshine]

40. The martians are becoming desperate

It was only a mater of time until they started slinging red clay everywhere

[troubleinwinter]

42. This isn't really funny.

My father is a retired astronomer and I asked him if we might be getting some Martian meteorites out of the asteroid smack-down. He said, "Hopefully." I said "When?" He said "Probably over some many years."

I have seen him go to rock shows, and buy stuff, and meteorites aren't all that cheap. If we get a whole new crop of Martian metorites, will it crash the meteorite market?? If so, what effect will it have on our economy?!? The value of his meteorite collection could plummet!

Hopefully, the value of coprolite will stay strong.

[no name no slogan]

43. EDWARDS statement regarding attack

MESSAGE HERE

[K Gardner]

46. Gads, you and Sniffa !! I fall for that everytime ! I'll never EVER vote for ur candidates.

[no name no slogan]

47. Nixon doesn't need your vote

He's got an undead army of crooks, liars and war criminals to do his bidding :evilgrin:

[sniffa]

59. ..

:rofl:

Rick Astley '08

[Kurovski]

49. Rick Astley is totally my favorite Martian!!!

That song makes me want to date the UNIVERSE!!!

In the comments section: "This is Clay Aikens dad?"

And Ray Walston is Rick's grandfather. He had a Buggalo ranch.

TROOPS OUT OF MARS!!!

[Kurovski]

69. Insight into Martian culture.

What Nixon knew, and what he discussed with a Pentagon official:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwj0gLriTnk

[K Gardner]

45. The Martians have put up three websites from which to attack the Earth. Timelines provided.

[eridani]

48. But you forgot Pluto!!

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/8/24/102112/777

AP has a transcript of Pluto's concession speech:

Just before coming down to speak with you, I called Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Neptune and Uranus and congratulated them on their success today. As I see it, in this campaign, we've just finished the first half and the Classical Planet team is ahead, but in the second half, our team -- Team Pluto -- is going to surge forward to victory.

I am, of course, disappointed by the results, but I am not discouraged. I am not disappointed because I lost my planetary status, but because the old politics of scholarship and intellectual integrity won today.

I expect my opponents will continue to do in the future what they have done today: Belittle me instead of coming up with ideas to avoid having to rewrite science textbooks.

I will continue to offer the astronomers a different path forward to make my Solar system and orbit a better place to live and work, and that's what I want to do for another six million more years.

I know a lot of people in this system, and not just "classical planets", are angry about the direction in which the Solar system is moving, and so am I.

Tomorrow morning, our campaign will file the necessary petition with the International Astronomical Union so that we can continue this campaign for a new astronomy of unity and purpose. I will always do what is right for my orbit and Solar system regardless of what the political consequences may be.

Tomorrow is a brand new day. Tomorrow we launch a new campaign -- Team Pluto -- Asteroids, non-conforming celestial objects and planets.

UPDATE: Dick Cheney has issued a statement:
"Pluto's demotion today is a victory for the terra-ists."

[jcla]

57. Planet or Pluton?

I vote for Pluton! You smaller colder than earth's moon thing!

[quigleyunder]

63. That movie was weird.

[Chovexani]

64. This thread is offensive to the Martian-American community.

[candymarl]

67. I are afraid

of Martians. Take my civil rights pleeze. :crazy:

[Kurovski]

68. !

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: