You know what I did instead of watching the SOTU?

[Reader Rabbit]

I watched The Two Towers, Extended Edition!

I mean, if I'm gonna watch over two hours of evil on TV, it's gonna be Sauron, not Bush.

And you know what? There was no handshaking or non-handshaking—although there was quite a bit of manly arm-grips and hugging in a sort of "I'm glad the Orcs didn't kill you" kinda way.

And Legolas and Gimli didn't get along, but they had fun kicking Orc ass together. And Faramir realized that the One Ring was just gonna fuck him up royally, like it did to his bro Boromir, so he let it go. And Sam and Frodo agreed that their quest was pretty shitty, but that it had to be done, so suck it up and head off to Mount Doom!

And tomorrow, I'm gonna finish it off with Return of the King, and you know what? I betcha anything the good guys are gonna hand Sauron's ass to him! Those hobbits are great at kicking ass in a Zen kinda way.

Yes, I have had one too many Bridgeport Browns, but you know what? My post sounds a hell of a lot less batshit crazy than some of the stuff here.

[mathewsleep]

1. i drank guinness.

and bullshitted with friends at a bar. i then when home and had sex with my girlfriend.
was that too much information?

[EmperorHasNoClothes]

2. Most sane post I've read all night.

[murielm99]

3. I watched Modern Times.

It was great fun.

I don't understand how I got to be 59 years old and missed seeing that movie before now. Chaplin is great.

[Jim Sagle]

4. "Get back to work!"

[Gman]

5. I watched probably 3 minutes then changed the channel

I couldn't handle it any more after 7 just like this.

My wife came in and said, "I thought you were going to watch his speech." I said, "I can't stand that asshole!"

[sfam]

6. My axe was embedded in his nervous system!!!!!

Yeah, like Dwarfs know about nervous systems, ey? Bad mistake in an otherwise AWESOME movie.

[Reader Rabbit]

7. Aw, c'mon!

Didn't you read that part Tolkien put in the Appendices about how Gimli was a student at Middle Earth College of Biological Sciences before he got sent to Rivendell and joined the Fellowship? :P

And I must say, looking at my original post in the cold light of day, I'm pretty damn impressed with the lack of typos and general semi-coherence!

[Hard_Work]

8. I went to the gym,

worked out really hard, then made love to my wife. Slept like a baby after, too. Yep, that's right; I woke up every two hours wanting more...