BREAKING NEWS!!! Stunning new images of John McCain discovered!

[JTG of the PRB]

POMPEII, ITALY - Researchers excavating a newly discovered structure in Herculaneum were stunned to discover a very well-preserved wall painting that seems to depict Republican Presidential candidate Senator John McCain amongst several Roman citizens. Head researcher Richard Cox described his initial reaction to the painting as being hit by a ton of bricks.

"We had been working on a segment of a wall in what seemed to be a common area for about three days," Cox said. "We saw the paint on the wall, and it seemed to be incredibly intact. As we uncovered more of the wall from the ash, we saw the people at the right hand side, but was we moved further to the left, we saw the focus of the painting and when I saw it, my jaw just dropped. I turned to one of my associates and said, 'Is that John McCain?' Right away, we could tell it was him."

<snip>

Historians have been puzzled ever since this discovery came to light early Thursday afternoon. The eruprion of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD buried the city of Pompeii and its surrounding towns in up to 12 different layers of ash. Entire buildings and even bodies were preserved by the sudden eruption that silenced thousands of citizens.

The fact that Senator McCain could be depicted so clearly was the cause of the confusion. Historians have traditionally placed John McCain's birth sometime around the year 1052, but this new discovery casts new light on the Senator's history. One historian, who declined to give his name for this story, said that it is possible that McCain is much older than historians ever knew.

"We thought he was nearing his 1000th birthday!" the historian said. "This discovery, which is simply marvelous and terrifying, means the Senator could be nearing the 2000th anniversary of his birth. It is simply astounding!"

<snip>

Cox said that there were still more walls to be uncovered inside the structure.

"We don't know what we'll find there. This may be an isolated image, or we may find more images of McCain under there," Cox said with a smile. "We'll just have to see what's under there!"



For those wishing to see the uncensored version of the McCain painting found in Herculaneum, said image can be found... Right here:

[Oceansaway]

1. i knew he was a perv !!!

[skids]

2. .

After colorization one of the Easter Island statues reveals
it's secrets...

[madeline_con]

3. Why's the guy pointing to his penis?

I don't get sonme of the classics. :shrug:

[JTG of the PRB]

5. I kind of wish I'd taken that class on Italian Art History back in college.

Though maybe some things are better left unknown... :puke:

[DearAbby]

6. Actually they are pointing and laughing...

it was an itty bitty teeny weenie. I suspect McCain will not be doing any VIAGRA commercials.

No SCHWING....just a teeny "ping"

[hendo]

10. the guy is pointing to the dead minotaur

The body that McCain's head is photochopped on is that of Theseus.

[JTG of the PRB]

12. Hmm... So McSame went by "Theseus" back in the day, eh?

That explains a few things... Or not?

[Jamastiene]

11. Ahem...because it's kinda hard to see it. n/t

[LTR]

4. No wonder he acts so tough!

He's got a little wiener!

[RainDog]

7. I must keeek you!

:applause:

[JTG of the PRB]

9. And I must thank you kindly!

:yourock:

[JTG of the PRB]

8. UPDATE! Native American petroglyphs depict John McCain hunting!

MOAB, UTAH - A group of students on a high school trip were stunned when their chaperon discovered a previously unknown set of petroglyphs near the start of the Delicate Arch Trail in Arches National Park. The chaperon, Thomas King, was climbing on a rock just off the trail to take a group picture of the students on the trip when the rock shifted beneath his feet and slid away about ten feet. King was able to jump away and was not injured.

"Mister King was up on this rock, and he was going to take a picture of us," said one of the students. "The rock shifted and we screamed because we thoguht he was going to fall. When the dust cleared, there were these little drawing on a different rock, and one of them looked like that guy who's running for President."

<snip>

Native American experts on the scene have not yet come to a conclusion on why McCain appears in these petroglyphs, which they estimate to be nearly 700 years old. That would put Senator McCain inside the American Southwest sometime in the 1300's. This discovery, combined with the discovery earlier today in Pompeii, Italy, sheds new light on Senator McCain's personal history - as well as raising new questions about just how old he really is.

[JTG of the PRB]

13. NEW DEVELOPMENT! McCain's image found on 4000-year-old Egyptian papyrus!

GIZA, EGYPT - Archaeologists here made a shocking discovery two days after two other similar discoveries were made thousands of miles away. Inside a recently uncovered Egyptian tomb dating back over 4000 years, researchers discovered an ancient papyrus scroll with hieroglyphics painted on it. One of the figures on the papyrus is, unmistakably, Senator John McCain.

<snip>

The discovery comes less than 24 hours after a discovery in Herculaneum near Pompeii, Italy where McCain's image was found preserved in a painting nearly 2000 years old. Later on Thursday, yet another image of McCain was found - this time in Arches National Park, Utah, where McCain's image was found on a previously hidden stone petroglyph. This most recent discovery further casts doubt on the Senator's true age as the 2008 Presidential Election draws nearer with each passing day.

<snip>

When asked for comment, Senator McCain replied rather cryptically.

"So what? What's the difference whether I'm 72 or 500 or 6000 years old? I still believe I am the best candidate to lead this country, and I believe I will prevail in the election this November," McCain said. "Do I have centuries more experience than both of my opponents combined? Absolutely I do! That makes me PERFECT to lead this country! My experience is OFF THE CHARTS!"

<snip>

The discoveries of the last two days have prompted great excitement amongst the historical community. Clues to McCain's actual age have been popping up left and right in historical documents and images. Whether we ever learn Senator McCain's actual age is a matter for some debate, but one thing seems crystal clear at this point - John McCain is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY old man.