What wrong with being called 'Sweetie'?

[canadian_is_cold]

May 14, 2008
Obama apologizes for 'sweetie' comment

Obama toured an automobile plant in Michigan Wednesday.

Barack Obama has personally apologized to a Michigan television reporter for referring to her as "sweetie" as she tried to ask a question.

The comment came earlier Wednesday when WXYZ reporter Peggy Agar asked Obama at a campaign stop, “How are you going to help the American auto workers?”

Obama told Agar to "hold on, sweetie," and said he would address that issue with her later. Agar said she never got an answer to her question.

According to WXYZ, Obama personally left a voice message for Agar Wednesday afternoon, apologizing for both not answering the question and for calling her "sweetie."

"That's a bad habit of mine," Obama said in the message. "I do it sometimes with all kinds of people. I mean no disrespect and so I am duly chastened on that front.

"Feel free to call me back. I expect that my press team will be happy to try to make it up to you whenever we are in Detroit next," he added.

Obama also took some heat in Pennsylvania last month for referring to a factory worker as "sweetie."

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/



Seriously? How could anyone be that offended by something like 'sweetie'. My grandpa used to call me sweetie, it is nice. Obama can call me sweetie anytime ;)

[zanne]

1. I've noticed that since I turned 50...

People call me "sweetie" and "honey" and "dear" all the time. Makes me feel ancient.

[elocs]

5. I know what you mean. I am 55 and at a recent visit to my local 7-11

the clerk replied to me as she took my money, "Thanks honey".

[zanne]

7. GAH! nt

[livetohike]

8. I'm 55 and everyone here (rural PA) says "hon"

Obama can call me sweetie, though :-). I think the older I get the less these things bother me. When I was young and insecure in my career, I think if someone called me sweetie while I was trying to do my job it would have bothered me, but I was also pretty rebellious. I may have answered, "Okay hon!"

[babylonsister]

9. Ma'am does it for me. nt

[mac2]

2. It's a bit too familiar for some women.

[anonymous171]

3. A certain section of Hillary's rabid base obsesses over this kind of stuff

Early on it helped feed their smears about how Obama was anti-woman and wanted to insure women's children but not the women themselves, or whatever.

[Ellen Forradalom]

24. Yeah, like the section with self-respect

Who don't take kindly to someone we've never met before calling us "sweetie."

[casus belli]

68. What if it's an older woman? Is that different? And if so, why? n/t

[Hugabear]

80. But is it okay for a woman to call a man 'sweetie' or any other term of endearment?

I don't know how many times I've been called "sweetie", "honey", or something similar by a woman I've never met.

[Darth_Kitten]

64. Women don't like to be called names, period.

I really don't know anybody who does. Geez.

[Triana]

4. I have no idea. It's just bullshit! He can call me sweetie. I won't mind! n/t

[SeattleGirl]

6. I personally don't mind it overall, but there are some people from

whom I could hear that and not like it at all (Obama is not one of them; I wouldn't mind that at all).

I think this is one of those things that is personal to people, and I think it was right of Obama to apologize to her, because he had no idea if she would be offended by it or not.

[highplainsdem]

10. It's condescending, coming from someone who isn't close to you.

[OzarkDem]

15. Particularly when that someone doesn't care about women's issues

Obama doesn't have a record of advocating for issues that impact women.

[anonymous171]

19. And Hillary does? The Iraq War helped women across the world, same with her for Cluster Bombs.

[OzarkDem]

60. Hillary's health care reform plan

and advocacy for equal pay for women will do much more than anything Obama has proposed.

Women in the US count, too.

[Divernan]

21. Duhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! NARAL just endorsed him.

And exactly what issues DON'T impact women? The war? The economy? Health Care? Education? And the fact that the man has two daughters whom he clearly adores means he will be very sensitive to how issues affect them, as well as all children.

[OzarkDem]

59. Abortion rights aren't the biggest issue for women

There are many other issues that are even more important, which explains why the biggest percentage of poor people in this country are women and children.

Being able to get an abortion when you're poor doesn't exactly help very much.

Men (and some women) need to get into the 21st century and realize women's issues cover much more than the right to an abortion.

[Cha]

88. No, it's not..it's a term of

endearment.

[Popol Vuh]

93. Its a complimentary way of saying hello

I guess its different to those who want to see it differently.

[cliffordu]

11. I'm 56, a straight white "working class" 'Murkin....

Married for 25 years and he can call me or the wife sweetie any time he wants to....

[elocs]

12. The sad thing is that every word or comment that Obama makes will be dissected and analyzed.

There is nothing too small or insignificant that somebody will not take offense to it. Obama, his wife, his supporters need to be careful about what they say and how they say it.
There is no point in making the news cycle about some offhand and innocent comment that gets taken the same way. They need to think, actually think before they speak. Like it or not, fair or not, that is the way it is.

[livetohike]

17. That's so true, but the Obamas can in no way say anything

dumber than Dubya :-).

[VolcanoJen]

13. Down here in the 'Nati, the most southern town in the north...

... everyone calls everyone "hon," "sweetie," "darlin'."

Ain't no thing.

[sandnsea]

14. It trivializes women, especially professional women

I'd rather be called bitch than sweetie, and don't EVER call me cupcake.

[NashVegas]

47. Broadcasting Is a Field That's Dominated By Men

And it's necessary to keep one's emotional distance when reporting on something.

The people who think some are being overly sensitive would be the loudest to scream if the shoe was on the other foot.

[Brundle_Fly]

63. you just trivialized

non professional women...

sigh.

[Beacool]

16. Are you for real???

It's patronizing and condescending to call a woman in a professional setting "sweetie". I work for a Fortune 100, let him try to call any of us "sweetie" and see the reaction.

[LisaL]

23. Obama supporters appears to live in Obamaland.

Yea, they are for real.
They can't figure it out.
I don't know how they manage to survive in the work place.

[Beacool]

25. They live in their own little world.

Obamanation........

:rofl:

[Oleladylib]

42. do they work?

[sandnsea]

49. And Hillary's supporters are such gracious elders

Your remark is shittier than the sweetie comment - BY FAR.

[northzax]

48. hey, it's maybe better than 'whore'

once you are used to hearing a strong woman described as a bitch and whore, 'sweetie' doesn't sound so bad. Thank god there is no sexism left in the us though, right?

[Beacool]

85. Yeah, there's no sexism in this country

and none in this election.

:eyes:

[northzax]

95. oh sweetie-pie

don't you worry your pretty little head about it, the men folk are taking care of everything.

[Beacool]

97. So it appears........

Can't wait for Obama to call female cabinet members and foreign dignitaries "sweetie".

[MediaBabe]

18. It's demeaning. Would he call a male reporter Sweetie?

It's a disrespectful way to make sure women know their place in the world.

[Oleladylib]

43. Thank You!

[provis99]

53. since women employees at stores call me "honey"

but I never hear them call female customers "honey", would you say they are being disrespectful towards men? I suspect you have a double standard.

[Evergreen Emerald]

20. when someone is not close to you and calls you sweetie it is demeaing

it is putting them in a position of power over you. Very unacceptable in business to call a co-worker "Sweetie."

And, I am not rabid. I just want an even playing field for women.

[msallied]

32. I never felt it to be demeaning at all.

But I guess it's all a matter of individual perception.

[Evergreen Emerald]

54. No. It is more than "individual" It is the type of insensitive stuff

that would require the individual who said it to attend a class on sexism.

[Ellen Forradalom]

22. Coming from someone with whom I have no affectionate ties

it is inappropriate and demeaning. In short, sexist.

Would we tolerate any candidate calling a potential supporter "boy"?

[democrattotheend]

28. I think Bill Clinton referred to Obama as a kid at one point

While campaigning for Hillary in New Hampshire. It did not get much attention, but you could make the same argument about that.

It was a dumb thing for Obama to say but I don't think he meant it to be demeaning. I'm glad he apologized.

[Ellen Forradalom]

36. I think he knows perfectly well it was inappropriate

[highplainsdem]

26. By the way, just asking the question in the OP shows how pervasive sexism is.

So many here really CAN'T see it. And that's sad.

[highplainsdem]

27. I do admire Obama for realizing he owed her an apology.

[canadian_is_cold]

31. I am a woman. I am simply not bothered by being called sweetie.

[Oleladylib]

38. i am a woman too...and I tell any idiot that tries that less than term of

endearment...where to go...It's chauvanistic, it's patronizing and it's wrong!

[northzax]

50. really?

honestly? You are at work, and ask your boss a question in your staff meeting, and he says 'we'll talk about that later, sweetie' while calling you male colleagues by their names, and you're cool with it? Honestly?

[canadian_is_cold]

58. It is hardly the same situation.

This is a campaign, the candidates are running around kissing babies, calling men buddy, and women sweetie. They are trying to appear as though they are your friend, not your boss.

If my superior calls me sweetcheeks or something during a board meeting. I may take offence, but in the case of the candidate people all around me are fawning over hugging and blowing kisses at, him or her calling me sweetie wouldn't phase me at all.

Honestly. It is a term of endearment, commonly used, like dear or hunny, Heck I have had women call me sweetie. Maybe it was not entirely appropriate directed at that particular person, but is hardly a word that deserves this kind of outrage.

It is not like he said. "Keep your pants on sweetcheeks, I will get to you in a minute." ;)

[Brundle_Fly]

72. I totally agree...

sweetcheeks.

[northzax]

94. it is basically what he said

the reporter is there working, right? she's not a volunteer, she's not a supporter, she's working. it is her JOB to ask questions. so she's doing her JOB and gets dismissed with a 'sweetie'. does Obama routinely tell male reporters "look, bubba, we'll get back to that later?"

[msallied]

29. I admit, I use it a lot with friends and family alike. "Hon" as well.

Absolutely nothing offensive about it, in my opinion. To me, it's a way to breed familiarity. And I think it's a sign that Obama is comfortable with people. I guess it's also regional. I grew up in Ohio and I have a lot of southern family. People are just cordial like that.

Show me some outrage if he touches some ass, and then I'll join in.

[Ellen Forradalom]

39. With friends and family alike

But a voter, someone you've never met?

[sandnsea]

51. It was a reporter, professional

That's the difference. Would it be acceptable for him to stroll on stage at a debate and address Hillary as "sweetie"??

And I'm a huge Obama supporter and despise Hillary, but he needs to knock it off.

[JoFerret]

30. Amazing to me that you have to ask.

I ascribe no particular intentions to Obama's use. I have no idea why he uses it nor what he means or intends by the word.

However, I can assure you that the word is offensive (to many.)
(Grounds for complaint in any good workplace.)

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## DON'T DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

==================
GROVELBOT.EXE v4.1
==================



This week is our second quarter 2008 fund drive. Democratic Underground is
a completely independent website. We depend on donations from our members
to cover our costs. Whatever you do, do not click the link below!

[frickaline]

34. I think it's a matter of context

I don't mind being called sweetie for the most part. Sometimes it can be endearing. However, it can be used in a demeaning fashion as well and you always know it when it happens.

I don't think there was anything insulting in how Obama used it but then, I wasn't the recipient.

[Oleladylib]

35. Chauvanist pigs...freely use terms of endearment...it's demeaning..

He also did not answer the question..

[msallied]

37. Translation:

"Don't ever say anything nice to me ever, asshole!"

[Oleladylib]

40. Mam is just fine...other than that fogetaboutit!

[Brundle_Fly]

78. or another...

hold on a sec there.... .... how you doing....

[eek MD]

56. Next time I'm called it down in Southern VA..

I'll make sure to tell the little old lady behind the gas station counter that she's a sexist pig. Maybe I'll follow up with how she should be ashamed of herself.....

And to think, I never thought to be offended by it!! Next time I'll demand an apology!!

[TheDonkey]

41. I'd be very happy if Obama called me "sweetie" !!!!

[Oleladylib]

45. ride on, donkey!

[mamalone]

44. I am 50yo...

I like to be as warm and affirming as I can... I am always calling people sweetie, or honey or something similar. I have never had anyone seem to be insulted in the slightest. Quite the reverse actually. My teenage daughters say they can't wait until they are "old" so they can call everyone hon:D

[Oleladylib]

46. suwell!

[L0oniX]

52. Nothing is wrong with that ...honey.

[FlaGranny]

55. Obviously

to some people that makes him a rotten sexist. To me it means he grew up in an atmosphere where words like that were used matter of factly. Note to Obama: NEVER say honey, sweetie or dear in the presence of anyone who doesn't have enough self esteem to not be offended.

[akbacchus_BC]

84. Bingo, I so totally agree with you for a variety of reasons. People

use terms of endearment when they are comfortable with themselves. This thread is over the board ridiculous. There are much more important issues to discuss as opposed to this non-issue.

[Seabiscuit]

57. By now it's more than a "bad habit". It's demeaning.

[Brundle_Fly]

61. nice OP

sweetie.

[canadian_is_cold]

62. Thank you dear ;)

[casus belli]

74. How DARE you?! ;) n/t

[jillan]

65. It's patronizing.

[Marrah_G]

66. It is because this woman was at work, doing her job. Sweetie was inappropriate.

[Brundle_Fly]

70. so he would have been better stating...

excuse me while I ignore you for a second, unknown reporter woman?

it was a base level nicety, perhaps not worthy of top drawer etiquette, but certainly not demeaning.

[Marrah_G]

77. I am sure he did not mean it in a demeaning way

But it is not appropriate to call a woman "sweetie" in a professional setting. Especially one you do not know.

There were other ways he could have handled it. Other ways in which to respond to her.

He made a faux pas, he apologized for it. He slipped, and when he realized he slipped he said he was sorry, no big deal.

[casus belli]

67. If I had a dime for every time I've been called "Hon"

I'd be a wealthy man.

[RB TexLa]

69. Nothing if your name is "sweetie," if not it's degrading and dehumanizing

[Brundle_Fly]

71. My Name is Sweetie!!

when my grandma is in town!

[crankychatter]

73. I accidentally called my Doctor, "Hon" once

I had to apologize profusely and immediately

I'm not a "sexist"

But I'm sure it sounded condescending and diminishing of her person... being a younger lady

I totally understand the social strictures on such language now...

I totally understand inadvertently making such a gaffe

AND... I totally understand the need for an apology

What I TOTALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND... is all this fucking fake outrage and false accusations of "sexism"

it's all bullshit

[casus belli]

76. I like to call it "Grasping at straws for lack of any better ammunition" n/t

[crankychatter]

75. Better tell every waitress in every Waffle House South of the Mason-Dixon to cut it out

I'm from the Left Coast... you can call ME, sweety

but only my friends can touch my butt.

[Brundle_Fly]

79. Hillary called me

white and unedumacated!!!

[Hugabear]

81. I was called "Sweetie" by a female cashier one time - should I complain and get her fired?

After all, sexism is sexism, and harassment is harassment, right?

[Brundle_Fly]

83. depends

are you a professional woman/man?

they apparently are more important.

[Enrique]

82. suppose he had called Hillary "sweetie" during a debate

:scared:

[akbacchus_BC]

86. Thanks for your thread, guess we Canadians do like terms of

endearment. I just hope we do not get too politically correct where we have to have a word radar stuck under our tongues when we open our mouths to speak. Many customer service places use terms of endearment, they are just trying to connect with their clientele.

[ToeBot]

87. Not a thing, I think it's fabulous, absolutely fabulous!! nt

[JCMach1]

89. the same thing that is wrong with the term 'boy'

in reference to African Americans...

It is a typically southern derogatory (but not necessarily mean-spirited) term designed to put a person in their 'proper' social place.

In this case, it was a woman.


i.e. HIGHLY DISGUSTING

[myrna minx]

90. Well since all of my gay friends and I call each other Dahhring, I think I need

recuse myself from this argument. I've called people/coworkers/bosses "dahrling" accidentally, because it's such a common affection that I sometimes forget that not everyone: letter carrier/cable person/ bus driver wants to be called "dahrling". But accidentally I have found out that the make up lady at the pharmacy, their cashier, and the person who sells me my beer/wine, like to be called Dahrling. So who knows? Am I now a part of sweetie gate 2. electric boogaloo?

[Manifestor_of_Light]

91. I don't like it.

OTOH, at my age, (50+) being called "Girl" makes me feel younger. :D

I also answer to "Hey, Gorgeous!". :D

[HuffleClaw]

92. it is MOSTLY faux outrage

but what i find even more amusing is how easily it is being dismissed by obama supporters

he DID apologize faster than any politician has in recent memory for the faux pas which was nice to see. it IS stuff like this the media is going to obsess over.

[patricia92243]

96. It's my Toy Poodle's name. Was I wrong to name her that? Just kidding! To use the term "sweety"

may sound sexest. Even if the user does not mean it that way - the hearer may take it that way.

[Romulox]

98. Is wrong because Obama *had no answer to the question about American workers* nt