Obama Women! Post here if you love being called "sweetie" by a man while you are at work.

[Beausoir]

Chime in. Tell us how much you love it when men do that to you.

[Stephanie]

1. Let. It. Sink.

[Beausoir]

3. So, we can mark you down in the YES category?

You like it when you are at work and men call you sweetie?

How...odd.

[Hugabear]

7. So every woman should think the same way that you do?

How...odd.

[marions ghost]

102. I'd just call him "sweetie" back...

and not make too much of it unless it was a constant thing...

Men slip up about this. It's not good. Women have to get more assertive in such situations and just TELL them you don't like it, in a nice kind of way.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

54. another stupid "sweetie" thread. You'd think Obama lied about sniper fire or something

WTF.

[DesertFlower]

2. i'm retired but i don't think i

would have a problem with it. i tend to call people who are younger than me "sweetie". a friend always calls me "sweet". that's how i chose my username. sweet wasn't available. i had to add the "s".

[NanceGreggs]

4. I think I'd better mull this question over for a while ...

... before responding, because it's such an important issue.

:sarcasm:

[DesertFlower]

5. it is so important nance.

what's wrong with you?
:toast:

[NanceGreggs]

11. I know, hon, I know ...

:toast:

[grantcart]

6. I wouldn't move on it until there have been a couple of polls

[NanceGreggs]

10. And perhaps a government-funded study ...

By the way, how are you feelin' tonight, sweetie? It's been a damned good day, n'est pas?

:hi:

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

57. or see which way the wind blows

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

58. maybe get one of those Fox news "focus groups" with John Cleese:

John Cleese on Fox talking about Barack Obama | Monty Python ...Feb 1, 2008 ... It's a video clip with John Cleese as part of a focus group on the ... "tell Cleese that Fawlty Towers was WAY funnier than Monty Python". ...

video here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flpGEAs5_pA



http://pythonline.com/blogs/ron_obvious/john_cleese_on_fox_talking_about_barack_obama

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

56. at least as important as voting for the Iraq war

you'd think he did that, the way some are trying to roll him over
honey or sweetie.

I'm in the south, we do this all the time, male or female age doesn't matter
its just humanity.

The guy's on the campaign trail 24 7 its as if the media lives in his
space.

[cynatnite]

8. I'd be tempted to lay the printer on the side of someone's head...

for calling me that when I'm working. I wouldn't, but it'd be damn tempting. I do not like those kinds of endearments from someone I work with...especially a man. It's demeaning for me and I'm not looked at as an equal.

This goes back to my days in the Army when I had to fight men every step of the way to be taken seriously and to be considered an equal. I had to put up with so much of their crap just so I would be considered 'tough' enough to take it. Complaining meant I was weak.

So, I don't like it and I would tell any man who called me that to never do it again. I would explain why I find it offensive and demeaning at my job.

Now, if I was in a bar or my husband called me that...different circumstances. I would ignore it or maybe even flirt a little.

[mcctatas]

9. It depends...

of course being that until I graduate, I am a bartender and a waitress I tend to be more pragmatic about it. If it is in a sexual way, it pisses me off and I usually over seltzer their old fashioneds. If however it is genuine, it doesn't bother me at all and is far preferable to some of the other options like "Hey jugs, I'm dying of thirst over here" or "Can you bend over a little farther when you're scooping ice for my drink" (you don't want to know what I usally do to their drinks;) )

[DesertFlower]

12. i was a bartender for a few months.

i know all about that.

[Wetzelbill]

16. come to think of it, that drink did taste a little funny

:)

[Name removed]

13. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[cliffordu]

29. Ouch!! That's going to leave a mark...

:rofl:

[Wetzelbill]

67. rub a little dirt on it and walk it off.

:rofl:

[knixphan]

47. Zing!

[Wetzelbill]

14. I like it when women call me "sweetie" does that count at all?

[mcctatas]

17. Oh sweetie....

of course not, the question is for the section of the population without "dangling participles" ;)

[Wetzelbill]

26. I just swooned.

:loveya:

[TahitiNut]

51. So do I. Am I supposed to be offended?

It's soooo difficult keeping track of what should offend me. :eyes:

[Wetzelbill]

59. I know one thing

Outside of me blushing and stuttering like an idiot, I'm never offended at all. :rofl:

[Abacus]

101. me too...

:blush:

[southerncrone]

15. Well, I think it all depends on what region you are in & the tone used

In the South, we call one another sweetie frequently. It is considered just a friendly, gentile way of addressing someone. However, the tone used will denote if it is meant to be sexist or not, along with body language.

I doubt this is the case in other parts of the country. We are different down here! ;)

I can think of A LOT of other things that would be more offensive than being called sweetie. Seems petty to me. Or maybe my skin is just thicker.

[Forkboy]

18. I hear it from women up here in Mass a lot, too.

Of course, I AM a sweetie, so maybe it's just me. :evilgrin:

I can't believe I even said that.... :freak:

[southerncrone]

38. It probably is just you!

B-)
Because you're so humble.

[Forkboy]

41. I hate to fly in the face of public opinion.

:D

[southerncrone]

43. Some things you just can't fight.

[Marrah_G]

19. My boss would never speak to me in such a manner.

Most of the brokers would not speak to me in such a manner. I am fortunate to work in a very liberal, progressive office, my boss is VERY laid back. But there are lines you don't cross in the workplace. Unless you are good friends and there is truly affection there, such names do not belong in the workplace.

I have two colleagues that I do share a great deal of affection with. They may occasionally call me an affectionate name, but they would never do it in a meeting with everyone else there because they are professionals who know what is appropriate in the workplace.

[Wetzelbill]

20. isn't it kind of sexist to imply that Obama, as a male, owns women?

Isn't is supposed to be "women who support Obama" or some other derivative? I've been criticized for doing that before, so I think some people find it offensive. It's a subtle thing, but it's there.

[salbi]

90. Owns women? I use the term sweetie and do not OWN the people I've said it to

I'm not even sure where you were going with that. Using a term like sweetie does not in anyway imply that as a male he owns the person he is saying it to. I'm a middle aged white grandmother. I have often used the terms sweetie, hon, things like that. I've never meant it in a negative way. I've also been called those names and never thought anything negative. Maybe it's a generational or regional thing. I've lived in the midwest and south.

[busymom]

21. wow...you guys will defend anything

just because it was Obama that said it. I would find it condescending and inappropriate if Senator Clinton said something like that to a young, male reporter and I would say so. It's such a turnoff really to see people at DU rally around Obama as if he were some sort of saint or something.

[Eric Condon]

68. Let me guess...enough of a "turnoff" that you and your fellow Hillary supporters just CAN'T vote for

him in the GE.

After all, no matter what the issue is, in the end you can always blame it on Obama supporters on DU - the scum of the earth. :sarcasm:

As for this latest flap, I honestly didn't think there could ever arise a bigger non-issue than flag pins, but somehow, they've done it.

[KAZ]

85. Guess you'de have a problem with "oh, baby".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTFEtlDpbKA

[greguganus]

91. Is it okay for Hillary to tell another presidential candidate to "just stand there and look pretty"?

[DesEtoiles]

22. He has two little daughters-he probably says that word 100 times a day to them and

sometimes it may slip out when he is not with them.

[Marrah_G]

28. I don't think he meant anything bad by it- as soon as he realized what he did he apologized

And I think it is great that he did.

[LeFleur1]

30. Exactly.

It's a term used for cute, helpless little girls who have to be taken care of by the big protective male.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

62. speaking of, he said he REALLY missed his family

clearly he misses them all. He said he was going to DO something about that
too. I wish for him to be able to spend more time with them
and less time fighting for the nom.

[Arkansas Granny]

104. I call my grandchildren and other young children I know sweetie, but I don't

slip up and refer to my co-workers or other people in a professional setting as such.

[Heather MC]

23. As long as he smells nice and has good teeth

[EFerrari]

25. LOL!

:applause:

[Heather MC]

78. hee hee, The worse thing in the world is being called anything by a guy with bad breathe and

body oder

Wow now I am fantasying about what Obama smells like.
hmmm lilac and primerose.

he doesn't strike me as a Joop kinda guy

maybe Polo mmmm mmm Polo

I know CK 1
LOL

Maybe he is ole skool, and uses Old Spice, yeah Obama smells like my dad!!!!

[ecstatic]

80. hehe. so true nt

[DesEtoiles]

24. au revoir...

[marlakay]

27. depends on how they say it and how close to them

i am. obama is so polite if he did so i am sure it was by accident.

I used to have a boss who had all kinds of affairs come over look down my blouse behind me and call me honey...well i quit that job.

i sincerely doubt obama was doing anything like that.

[EFerrari]

31. "Obama Women" is supposed to be an improvement over "sweetie"?

I love these posts.

[4_Legs_Good]

34. Nice!

:)

[knixphan]

49. thank you!

[democrattotheend]

32. There's a man in my office who uses terms like that

It doesn't bother me because he does it to all the women and I know he doesn't mean anything by it, but I can see how some women might be bothered by it.

Similarly, I think it's a bad habit that Obama needs to cut, but I don't think he meant anything sexist by it.

[MojoMojoMojo]

40. I dont think the guy looking down a coworkers blouse meant to be

sexist either.

[Forkboy]

42. Which of course has fuck all to do with what that poster wrote.

But you know that.

[DU GrovelBot]

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This week is our second quarter 2008 fund drive. Democratic Underground is
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[casus belli]

35. IBTL

[graycem]

36. Do you think there

are maybe more important things to be outraged by? I mean honestly, this is way over the top. In my corner of the world, people use it frequently in just about any setting, the cashier at the grocery store, the people at the bank, friends, family, the waitress at the restaurant, and on and on, and it is NOT sexist. It's a habit and nobody takes offense, because it's meaningless. Geezus. The only way that could be sexist was if something more sinister was implied with his tone or body language, and anyone who's ever experienced ACTUAL sexism or sexual harrassment, knows better. Seriously, you people are giving women a bad name with all this fake outrage garbage. This is yet ANOTHER reason I would never identify myself with the "feminist movement" because of irrational stuff just like this. As a woman, I find it embarrassing.

[galledgoblin]

37. men AND women have called me "sweetie" and "hon"

usually it's a superior who just talks that way.

it's never bothered me as a sexist thing, just as a "I don't know you well enough to be called by a term of endearment" thing. but I also understand that they're just trying to get me to warm up to them and make the work environment a bit less stressful.

one summer I had a supervisor who said "dude" every three words. THAT bothered me much more!

[TexanDem]

39. Being from the south -- everybody is called "sweetie" or "hon"

[Maddy McCall]

46. Not in professional settings.

It's not cool in professional settings.

[Name removed]

60. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Arkansas Granny]

105. No doubt. It's very unprofessional.

[Kali]

44. depends on the man

:evilgrin:

[Maddy McCall]

45. A much older colleague once called me that.

And he hit on me--was often way too handsy. And he told me that "single parents are leading the decline in western civilization," knowing full well that I'm raising my son alone.

I distanced myself from him, and always made sure that I was not alone with him. He was a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.

[MadBadger]

52. Well that sounds a lot like what Obama did today

[EFerrari]

53. LOL

[Name removed]

61. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Moochy]

48. Where is the "Taser the OP" option?

You made it 7 years here. How much longer?

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

63. LOL your comment makes enduring the bs worth it

good one. Taser the OP.

[MadBadger]

50. He called personally to apologize to her...move on.

[Jamastiene]

55. I don't, not by straight men.

It's demeaning when men do that to a woman. It's like treating her less than when she worked just as hard to get where she is as any man would, sometimes harder. If a waitress does it at a restaurant or something like that, it's different, because it's meant as a term of endearment, and not to belittle someone. If a gay guy does it, it often really is a term of endearment too, but not when straight guys do it. I've never heard of a straight guy doing it except to be condescending.

[merh]

64. He realized his mistake and called to apologize.

Has Hillary yet admitted she made a mistake when she supported Bush and voted for the war, has she apologized yet?

What about when she misspoke about the sniper fire, I know she admitted after telling the lie, what 4 times, that she was mistaken, but did she ever apologize?

Would you like me to continue?

[Marrah_G]

98. This isn't about Hillary in my mind

It is about sexism in the workplace, even unintentional sexist language. It does exist. People do it all the time without thinking. Obama made a mistake and he did the absolute right thing by calling her and apologizing. I was proud of him for calling her personally and he gained some points in my book.

I know you probably think I have this opinion because I support Hillary, but that isn't it at all. This topic has always been one of great importance to me.

[concerned canadian]

65. i neither love nor object to it

mostly i find it humorous

[dave29]

66. I get called "Honey" all the time by female coworkers

never thought much of it

[curious one]

69. This is another one that has been taken out of proportion.

Stop it with reading too much into it.

[Hieronymus]

70. When did Obama call a woman who worked for him sweetie?

[Warren DeMontague]

71. I do!

[VotesForWomen]

72. heh. yeah, go ahead and tell us.

[anigbrowl]

73. Recycling in action....zzzz.

[lligrd]

74. I've Been Called A Lot Worse By Members Of Both Sexes

And I've been called "sweetie" mainly by older, white women. I never complain about what someone calls me, I just answer in a similar fashion.

[Guaranteed]

75. How about "moron" instead?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x5979785

[GoesTo11]

76. Sweetiegate - one last scandal for Hill to hype

Enough with the freakouts.

[HuffleClaw]

77. funny how ANYTHING he does is excused

had that been said by mccain...


that said, it IS mostly a case of faux outrage but the reality is that faux outrage has become a very real part of campaigning and can be just as damaging as genuine outrage. its how the game is played.

[ecstatic]

79. I sure don't like it when my married boss, twice my age, asks me to do blow jobs

Oh wait. That happened to Monica. Just a hunch, but I think she probably was referred to as "sweetie" once or twice.

[splat]

83. Disrespect of strangers belies a core attitude towards women

Your dissembling has nothing to do with what's revealed here.

[ShortnFiery]

88. Oh brother. I tend to call my daughter's friends "sweetie" just like my daughter.

It is not meant as demeaning but often used "unconsciously" as a term of endearment to "a younger person." DUH! :P

[cjsmom44]

81. RE: Opinion

As a middle aged woman, who has been called worse things from bosses, I consider it a minor slip of the tongue. He apologized...end of story....
This is minor...
I am a firm feminist....believe me I believe we have to give ALL men a little slack...
When society gives a constant message to men of how society views women...we can't be
too hard on men..but gently ever so gently point out transgressions...
My God the guy is human
End of Story...from a middle aged back woods soapmaker Obama Mama

[Evergreen Emerald]

106. I saw the incident on video. He was dismissive and condesending

I think he did not want to answer the question so he was defensive. It was a put down that he should have regretted and it deserved an apology.

Had someone at my office done that, they would likely have to take a class

[cjsmom44]

109. RE: Hmmm

Haven't we all been dismissive at one time or another?
He called the woman personally and apologized.

[greenbriar]

82. works

for me

[DangerDave921]

84. Sweetie is not offensive

Neither is a quick pat on the butt, or a nice shoulder massage while standing behind the young lady.

Come on folks! :)

[ShortnFiery]

86. Yes, Older men and women have called me "sweetie" often - it's commonplace in the deep South.

Could this be any more of an non-issue? :eyes:

[shaniqua6392]

87. Our Detroit reporter Peggy was a bit offended and so was I.

She appreciated his phone call and apology, but says he still never answered her question. We are still waiting Mr. Obama.........

[ShortnFiery]

89. It was not overtly sexist and he apologized.

Damn, you got thin skins. The MEN who you need to worry about MOST are not the one's who have a slip of the tongue use of a "term of endearment" to a younger person, but the ones who are APPROPRIATE and later "grab you" in private.

Seriously, you need to worry about the people who USE their rank to intimidate women NOT someone who called a younger person a "term of endearment."

Hell, I love it when a waitress calls me "sweetie" - it means that she cares. ;)

[shaniqua6392]

93. No our skins have to be extra thick actually.

She is a reporter. She is a professional woman standing there with a microphone in her hand. He knew it was a big "ooops" as soon as it started to hit the air waves. Why can't you admit it was a total screw up? Obama did admit it and rightfully so. He is not perfect. He made a mistake and apologized for it. Let us not be so blindly in love with him that we can not even admit when he makes a minor faux pas.

[ShortnFiery]

96. Well gee, a slip of the tongue? It's also a habit of mine to call many younger people "sweetie"

OK. This is huge. :P :eyes:

[Name removed]

92. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Doityourself]

94. I'm the boss..I actually call men sweetie...lol..shame on me..but it just slips out..thanks sweetie!

[SeattleGirl]

97. Well then,

you'd better flog yourself until you bleed, then pour salt in the wound, and flog yourself again. Otherwise, you are not fit to live.

:sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm:

Sorry, I just had to spew that, but not against you.

I just get so tired of women telling me how I should feel, and what I should and should not accept.

To me, being a real feminist is being able to decide for oneself what is and isn't acceptable.

(And I hope you know I am not insulting you.....)

[Doityourself]

99. I know you're not insulting me. Believe me, I follow my own path...but I do thank those that walked

the path before me, but I run things the way I see fit. I don't mean any harm when I say sweetie, I'm generally just being thankful.

[Maine-ah]

95. you know, it doesn't bother me.

But, I call the men hon, or sweetie too. In my area, it's the norm.

[cali]

100. He was wrong. He said he was wrong and he apologized for it.

I understand that you have murky motives for trying to make this a big deal. Tough for you that it isn't.

[Arkansas Granny]

103. Men I don't know sometimes call me sweetie, dear or hon on the phone.

I don't like it.

[NatBurner]

107. it's better than what mccain caills his wife

no?

[genna]

108. I don't like anyone who doesn't know me to call me sweetie. Sorry!

I don't think it is respectful. I don't make it my business to bristle every time I've heard it, but I don't like it. Not because it is demeaning, but because they don't know me well enough to call me that. It is a poor social grace like asking someone who are they doing but not staying around long enough to listen to the answer.

Obama made a mistake. He should have apologized. He did. Move on... It is a gaffe.

[FlaGranny]

110. This morning

in the office I was called "honey" by another woman of about my own age. Last week, I was called "darlin" by a sweet old southern guy. I wasn't even the slightest bit annoyed. In fact, they were both just being nice. I just don't carry chips around on my shoulder waiting for them to be knocked off over imagined "slights."