Onion: "Obama Modifies 'Yes We Can' Message To Exclude Area Loser"

[Bicoastal]

Yes We Can, Except Nate Walsh,' Obama Says

COLUMBIA, SC—In a nationally televised speech Friday, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama altered his vision of a unified America to exclude Dayton, OH loser Nate Walsh.

According to Obama, the 32-year-old Walsh, who has lived with his parents intermittently since receiving his associate's degree in 2001 and still does not have a credit card in his own name, no longer figures into the senator's long-term plan of rallying Americans from all walks of life around a common, higher purpose.

"People of South Carolina, people of the world, this is our time, this is our moment," Obama said before 72,000 supporters at the University of South Carolina's Williams-Brice Stadium. "That is, unless you live in apartment 3L at 1254 Holden St., you watched Money Train on TBS last night at 3 a.m., and your name is Nate Walsh."

(snip)

"People of America, not Nate, we have the ability to heal this nation," Obama said. "Yes we can, Nate excluded, seize our future. Yes we can, with the exception of Nate and his stupid cargo shorts that he never washes, turn the page to a new tomorrow. I am confident that where we—and by 'we' I mean everyone but Nate—are met with cynicism and doubt and fear and those who tell us that we can't, we—again, not Nate—will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of the American people in six simple words: Yes we can, except Nate Walsh."

Added Obama: "God bless the people of South Carolina, God bless America, and fuck you, Nate."

I wouldn't want to be Nate Walsh right now...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_modifies_yes_we_can_message">Entire article here.

[cliffordu]

1. rofl....

[madfloridian]

2. That is from The Onion.

You should indicate it.

[Bicoastal]

3. Oh fine...

...you're no fun. (pout)

[madfloridian]

5. Well, to the low info folks.....

just kidding.

[BlooInBloo]

4. I thought about posting that. heh.

[Venceremos]

6. Now I'm worried

After Obama's speech I didn't think anything could get me down. But the article says "McCain went on to promise that, if elected, he would rid the world of Walsh within his first 48 hours in office without raising taxes". I think that could cost us the election.

[Ian David]

7. Use mail-merge to create customized emails to all the Republiklans in your address book. n/t

[grantcart]

8. great