A Response to Lil' Davey Brooks - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Fri Aug-29-08 10:07 PM
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A Response to Lil' Davey Brooks

Edited on Fri Aug-29-08 10:37 PM by NanceGreggs

TO: Editor, New York Times
RE: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/29/opinion/29brooks.html?_r=1&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=all&oref=slogin

Sir:

I felt a responsibility to respond to David Brooks’ column of August 29, 2008, not only because I am a Democrat, but because I am a mature adult.

Surely you were alerted to the childishness of Brooks’ “Speech to the Delegates” op-ed when it arrived at your office, scrawled with a blunted crayon reflective of the kind of temper-tantrum most five-year-olds have outgrown before heading out for their first day of pre-school.

Written in first person snarkeese as though he were the Democratic nominee, Mr. Brooks begins his piece by referring to this election being “the most consequential election since last year’s American Idol.” Perhaps Mr. Brooks has been so busy warbling "I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” at the AI auditions in his area, he missed the fact that most Americans are taking this election a tad more seriously than he is.

Lil’ Davey then goes on to discuss the idea that this election is “about the future, and Barack Obama loves the future because that’s where all his accomplishments are.” While there is no doubt that Obama’s greatest accomplishments will occur during his future presidency, I can’t help but be astonished by the fact that Mr. Brooks’ would want to venture, with child-like abandon, into a discussion about future achievements when the current president, whom he has cheerleaded from day one, came to office with a lengthy history of failures behind him – a losing streak he continued at the expense of the American citizenry and the world at large.

The young Squire Brooks then launches into a tirade about passing the torch to “ a generation with a historical memory that doesn’t extend back past Coke Zero,” amazingly adopting the role of the grumpy get-off-my-lawn neighbor while still dressed in his knickerbockers and felt cap.

I am not quite sure who Davey thinks will inherit the country and make their own mark, just as every generation has done, because these kids today are obviously not up to the task. I suppose we oldsters have no choice but to live forever, rather than pass the reins of power on to a generation that doesn’t show the promise of the flappers and the racoon-coated twenty-three-skidooers our nation was solemnly entrusted to back in the good ol’ days.

Davey goes on to talk about “cute daughters who will someday provide us with prestigious car-window stickers” – an obvious allusion to the fact that Barbie & Jenna are more to the liking of a young man still dreaming about someday wearing long trousers and being noticed by young ladies unafraid to flaunt their misadventures in a special edition, two-disc DVD set entitled “Presidential Twins Gone WILD!”.

As for Davey’s phantasmagorical venture into his being raised by an ant colony, rather than offer my opinion, I will defer to psychiatric professionals who are much better equipped to analyze said remarks – or perhaps demure to Mr. Brooks’ local barkeep, whose own unique expertise might be brought to bear.

I must admit that as bemused as I was reading Davey’s entire column, I was especially delighted with his comment that “we were thrilled by (Obama’s) speech in front of the Greek columns, which were conscientiously recycled from the concert, ‘Yanni, Live at the Acropolis’.”

Coming from someone who has steadfastly supported a man who has staged every aspect of his so-called ‘presidency’, complete with sets and props, from ill-fitting flight-suited landings on aircraft carriers to serving plastic turkeys in Bagdhad, the irony is rich and the ensuing laughter uncontrollable. I guess that like every spoiled brat who can be counted on to ruin every family get-together with his hissy-fits, even Davey has his endearing kids say the darndest things moments.

Alas, Lil’ Davey’s one inadvertently adult comment zeroes-in on the crux of the problem he so foot-stompingly wishes would go way: “No, this country cannot afford to elect John Bushmccain. Under Republican rule, locusts have stripped the land, adults wear crocs in public and M&M’s have lost their flavor. We must instead ride to the uplands of hope!”

Despite Lil’ Davey’s efforts to couch the real concerns of the American populace in cutesy terms that your average kindergartener (or Republican, take your pick) can giggle over in the schoolyard, the fact that comparing losing one’s job, one’s pension and one’s healthcare coverage to annoying insects, trendy footwear, and chocolate treats that ain’t what they used to be is just the kind of grossly immature rhetoric that has cost the Republican party not only its credibility, but its once-loyal constituents.

I can’t help but be amused that while a pair of big-boy pants are in order not only for Lil’ Davey, but for the GOP operatives who are playing with their sticks ‘n’ hoops down the streets of American cities and small towns everywhere, the Democratic candidate is busy talking to the grown-ups who are not only hurting due to the Republican policies of the past eight years, but are incensed at the “whiner” barbs that the Republicans persist in throwing their way.

And as an arrogant, know-nothing brat like Lil’ Davey would say, “So what of it?”

The what of it is a middle-class worker who can’t make ends meet, who can’t afford to take on the second or third job he needs because the price of gas to get there exceeds the paycheck it would bring. The what of it is an Iraqi occupation that costs billions and delivers nothing more than more of the same failures.

The what of it is a citizenry that has the common sense to know that what people like Brooks are trying to pass off as political know-how in D.C. is the same thing that’s called cow manure in less sophisticated but more astute communities across the country.

While I have come to expect incredibly little from your publication, I would ask that you consider one all-important code of conduct in future: Next election, grown-ups only.

Or, in the alternative, if you insist on carrying columns like Lil’ Davey’s latest, at least include a Deluxe Set of Crayolas with Built-In Sharpener, so we can all play along with the kiddies.