If you had a 6 month old with Downs Syndrome

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

would you be looking to move 5000 miles away from your family and friends to a job that requires 15 hour days 7 days a week? I don't know how anyone with a young special needs child would want to pursue a job with those type of demands.

[mucifer]

1. would it be ok if it was a father or is this just a mother issue?

[vaberella]

4. I think it's wrong either way because not only are you forgoing your

bonding period. But your taking advantage and abusing your spouse by not providing the emotional and physical support needed to take care of any child.

[busymom]

8. My husband did residency and fellowship when our children were young.

He worked 100 hours/week. I'd definitely argue that he wasn't there to provide emotional or physical support to me or the children. We still love him anyway. He has a good relationship with our kids because we made the time that we spent together count. Ours was an extreme situation, but somehow we managed to pull together as a family.

[Turn CO Blue]

36. That's why I dropped out of pre-med.

The sacrifice of residency was too much for me to make - but it took a while to decide. We did have a couple of professors advising all of us that it was either family or being a doctor. Not both.

[busymom]

38. His life now is very balanced. He has a lot of time for family...

more than we imagined he would. There were a few very difficult years for all of us though. Now that it is all said and done, we have moved on. Honestly, I don't feel anything negative about him...and the kids are proud of him...well...so am I. He works hard helping people and doing something that he feels passionate about.

[Turn CO Blue]

41. Oh I know. They have lots of time once you have a practice.

that's why it's hard to get an appointment. My doc is out 6 weeks a year for vacation, and she's off at 2 on Tues and Thur.

But there's no time at all during school or residency before that for years... they only get to sleep like 3 hours for every 36 (or some craziness). No way. I would have missed my son's pre-teen and teen years completely. No way.

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

6. As a man, if I had a special needs child

I would make his/her care my first priority. I wouldn't be looking for a job with more hours, relocation, and more responsiblity while my child was still a toddler and needed a lot of family time and attention. I would be looking for the opposite: the freedom to spend more time at home.

[Abacus]

14. No.

I didn't write the OP, but I agree with it -- I think it's pretty selfish for either parent.

[RollWithIt]

39. I think it would be wrong for a man to do the same actually....

But that's just me.

[Liberal Veteran]

2. You'll catch hell for saying it, but the other side can and is capable of playing the sympathy card.

It's only a matter of time.

[az chela]

3. he is 4 months old and I asked that question earlier

[Debi]

5. Her family isn't allowed to go with her? n/t

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

7. extended family and natural support network.

[Debi]

11. Like her husband and other children?

It's not like she's alone - nor would she and her family be alone if she were to become Vice-President. (Had Kerry won would John Edwards' children have been alone?)

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

13. Are Edwards children 6 months old? do they have down syndrome?

Its a different circumstance.

[Debi]

24. A child with a disability is a child...

Edwards kids were 3 and 6 in 2004.

I don't think it's as different as the 'concern trolls' are making it.

The argument against Palin should be about her ability to be President if McCain cannot serve AND her ability to advise and assist the President during his tenure. I don't believe she is able to do either.

Should we ban women of childbearing age from running for President b/c they may have a baby during their Presidency? And that baby may have a disability?

[Abacus]

9. Me neither

Some posters here are interpreting this as a feminism issue; to me, it's a parenting issue. I'm a father of a 21 month old and another on the way and it is unfathomable to me to consider voluntarily taking on the sort of external responsibility that would put that kind of stress on my family at this juncture.

[Kber]

17. Parenting issue - exactly

I'd feel betrayed if my husband picked this time in our lives to do something like run for VP - so no, it's not just a mom thing, imo.

[philosophie_en_rose]

10. Downs syndrome isn't a death sentence.

I don't like Palin or her politics, but making assumptions about her children takes time away from attacking her policies. If she were a man, no one would be making comments about whether she should be able to work. She would presumably take her family with her, though that's all hypothetical since she's not going to get the job in the first place.

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

12. but it certainly requires extra attention and additional time from

parents, particularly when a child is young.

[Martinucho]

15. regular children need lots of time with their parents

But in some jobs such as politics, they just can't get it.

[Liberal Veteran]

18. Politics isn't "a job" (of shouldn't be)....it's public service.

This isn't "Daddy's got to work overtime to pay for a new dress for little Susie and put away some money for college".

And it's intellectually dishonest to say it is.

[LittleClarkie]

19. I would agree it she hadn't touted her choice

and wasn't in the business of denying choice to others who don't have the resources to take care of such a child as she does.

She chose to keep a child others would have aborted, she has said. She has made this child part of one of her key issues. She chose to bring a special needs child into the world. She says that they are a blessing and a challenge. To me that means she made a committment to raising this special child. Instead it seems she will hand him off to others.

It's her use of the child for politics that gets me.

[Beausoir]

16. What do you know about having a special needs child?

[AuntPatsy]

20. I DO and you give up your whole word for that child period...esepcially if she was a real fundie

her faith would demand it

[Debi]

26. I know I GAVE my child the world...but I didn't give up MY world for my child

Had I done that he wouldn't know what the real world is like. He would have lived in some unrealistic cocoon.

[AuntPatsy]

28. Spare me you know exactly what I meant

[Debi]

33. Obviously not - the world doesn't stop because a person is born with a disability

and creating a fantasy world where everybody puts everything on hold to take care of that child is unrealistic. What the hell is the IDEA? What the hell is the ADA? Those laws were created so that individuals with disabilities would receive the same opportunities that people without disabilities do. Children with disabilities go to childcare, have play dates, go to pre-school, have birthday parties all the same things that typical children do.

Why try to turn the clock back to make a bs political point?

[AuntPatsy]

35. when you decide to bring a child into this world and that child needs more than

you might have first realized, you deal with it, it is not the child's fault, sorry but unlike those iiotic pro life junkies I don't forget the child once it takes its first breath

[Debi]

37. What makes you think that parents of children with disabilities who don't just shut down their lives

because their child isn't like other kids are forgetting the child? Why would anyone want to segregate their child because the child has a disability? Why not let the child go to childcare? Why not let the child go to pre-school and be fully integrated to the best of their abilities into the general education classrooms? Yes, parents who have children with special needs do 'deal with it', that doesn't mean giving up a 'normal' life.

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

21. one of my close friends has a 5 year old born 4 months premature

and developmentally disabled. It requires a lot of time, a lot of extra attention, getting into right classes, making decisions about how best to help child reach his highest potential, etc. Its not an easy job.

If you are going to decide to carry a special needs child to term, and keep him in your home, you should be committed as a family to act in his best interest, not your own selfish political ambitions.

[Beausoir]

25. So, basically, you know NOTHING about having a special needs child.

You don't have a special needs child.

You really have no idea what it means to be the parent of a special needs child.

You are just blowing it out of your ass in an attempt to score political points.

Here's a little hint: Attack Palin on her policies....not on her children. You will find much gold to be mined.

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

27. do you enjoy attacking fellow democrats?

[OhioBlue]

22. Personally, no.

I have a 13 month old. I work full time and always feel guilty when I get a baby sitter outside of work hours. Tomorrow will be the first night he as spent away from me. I had him in my mid 30s when I thought I might not be able to have children. I try to cherish and hold on to every day as I know it goes so fast. He will be in school before I know it. He will graduate, go to college and have children in what will probably seem like a blink.

But, I would not vote for or against someone on that issue. Every parent has to weigh and decide what is best for their own family. I support that. I do however think your question is an issue that I would expect fundies are asking themselves right now.

As a feminist and liberal, I do not think a woman's parental status should be an issue in political elections nor in job interviews. But, I think the fundies do. And, I wonder what they are thinking right now.

[CK_John]

23. The VP job could be done at home, No requirement to live in DC.

The VP only needs to fly in if the Senate has a tie vote (and that is only if the party of the VP whats the measure to pass).

And should the VP wish to call every day to inquire as to the health status of the POTUS, that's about it.

[Catherine Vincent]

29. Make that hubby stay at home.

It's his child too.

[Quixote1818]

30. As Dr. Laura would say: "She is not her kids mom". nt

[emilyg]

43. Oh yes - Dr. Laura. What a joke.

[Chovexani]

45. Unbelievable.

DUers quoting "Dr." Laura in the name of bashing a woman's choices about her family.

Unfuckingbelievable.

[emilyg]

46. Some of these threads make me want to puke.

We are Democrats?

[Quixote1818]

48. What is "Unfuckingbelievable" is you missed the point.

Give it a little more thought and perhaps it will come to you eventually? :eyes:

[Quixote1818]

47. Maybe the hypocrisy went over your head?

The point is that Republicans preach staying home with your kids and she is not fitting in their perfect little mold.

[JVS]

49. Darn tootin

[JI7]

31. she probably wont be working 15 hour/7 days a week

she will probably do things like show up for some dinners honoring whoever/whatever. and of course attend funerals.

she will not be active like recent vps have been.

but the problem is if McCain dies. do people really believe that he thinks that she would be not just the best, but even qualified to become President at this moment ?

[Aussie leftie]

32. Call me old fashioned, sexist or whatever

a "special needs" child needs at least one full time parent. Preferably a mother.

[Debi]

34. Why? n/t

[Aussie leftie]

40. Is your preference to have someone else raise the child?

[emilyg]

42. I don't know what I would do.

Neither do you.

[skooooo]

44. oh hell no!

[AZBlue]

50. Of course not. No mother or father would do that if they cared at all.