"Democrats court the 'Asshole Vote'"

[buycitgo]

before you get all excited:

May 15, 2003 - WASHINGTON, DC – Citing the need to counter the Republican Party’s attempted outreach to their voter constituencies, Democratic National Committee Chairman, Terry McAuliffe, announced Wednesday that the Democratic Party would be fighting back by courting the “Asshole Vote.”

“George W. Bush and the Republican Party,” said McAuliffe, “are making a concerted and public effort to try and go after some of our core groups of voters, such as Latinos and Africa-Americans. So we feel it is imperative not just to respond in a defensive manner, but finally to go on the offense by courting the idiotic young white men who brazenly parrot whatever lines Rush Limbaugh feeds them each week.”

Former President Bill Clinton agreed with the plan. “The Democratic Party cannot just sit there while the Republicans try to siphon off our base. We must try to bring some of their core supporters over-to our side as well, and starting with the Republicans’ most important constituency, dumb white bullies who endlessly echo whatever lies they are fed, is the best way to go.”

McAuliffe says this particular constituency has been targeted both because it has been the backbone of recent Republican success, and because it, “should be pretty darn easy to tinker with these lie-strung marionettes.”

http://www.moderateindependent.com/v1i3news3.htm

if only this were true

[BootinUp]

1. this is not the kind of attitude that helps in a GE

We're not in the primaries anymore. :eyes:

[buycitgo]

3. hahaha

the unquestioning clark acolyte

see if you can get this one, bud; broad enough for you?

BUSH ADMITS HE'S BEEN ASKING “WRONG JESUS” WHAT HE WOULD DO

DAYTON, OHIO – Standing before a packed auditorium at Wright Patterson Air Force Base, President George W. Bush made a startling admission today.

“Folks, I just want to come clean about something here. Remember how I promised back during the campaign to always ask, ‘What would Jesus do?’” the President asked of the crowd of uniformed servicemen and women. “Well, I sort of kept my word – I was asking a Jesus what he would do.”

“But,” he continued, growing a bit subdued, “to be honest, I was really calling my old coke connection, Jesus Antonio Chavez, who happens to share a name with the Jesus that is our lord and savior, and asking him what he would do.”

First Lady Laura Bush expressed her relief at the revelation.

"I have to admit," she said, "I was very confused for a while there. Georgie would come in and say, 'Jesus told me to get everyone to hate French people.' 'Jesus told me to hell with heating the globe beyond livability, worry about corporate profits.' And I would say, 'Georgie, are you sure that's something Jesus would do? I thought Jesus said not to hate and not to value money above other, more important things.' And he'd say, 'Oh yeah, sure - I just talked to Jesus about it.' I knew I should have been more specific - I learned that back during his coke and drinking days, the word games he likes to play. But I just gave him the benefit of the doubt this time. Now I know better - again."

[BootinUp]

4. Its just in bad taste, I didn't even find it funny.

[buycitgo]

5. not surprising at all

[Guaranteed]

6. That's what they said in the primaries. nt

[atommom]

2. Of course not, but this is satire! But ...

like all good satire, it's almost too true.... :eyes: