Alaska search may never yield answers (satire).

[HereSince1628]

McCain’s chief vetter had been flying low for decades and was considered a master of flying fast and low. He was an intrepid pilot who learned the dangers of tree-top 'close air support' flying in service to the republican party as a legal counselor to Reagan during Iran-Contra, where he was rumored to have been able to find pathways through that tangled morass by flying close enough to the ground that props cut paths in the jungle brush. Since that time he made a career of vetting folks while flying under the radar. Very little is known about the events that contributed to his crash in Alaska. The use of a conservative blog written by a college sophomore mapping out the route to a Palin Vice Presidency may have contributed to the crash. Piloting in the Alaskan bush has always been a risky business, where cross winds, changing weather, and looming mountains are unforgiving to those unfamiliar with the exotic terrain or using false treasure maps. The Internets are pregnant with rumors that the vetter may have been shot down outside of Wasilla by a Dominionist faction of an anti-American Alaska-First separatist party. It seems unlikely that the truth will be recovered from the wreckage soon. Ground-based search teams face the prospect of picking through the debris in the long cold archival darkness of Alaskan websites whose information disappeared as surely as icicles sublime on a sunny Novemeber day.