We need Palins stance on Freedonia....

[Neshanic]

PARLIAMENT OF SUCKERS
From SPY Magazine, first published in the February 1993 issue...



We all remember being freshmen. The strangeness, the fish-out-of-water alarm, the terror that some big kid might humiliate us – why, it’s all just part of the fun of growing up!! But while the new members of Congress might feel a bit overwhelmed, it seems unlikely that nay veteran congressman – even Newt Gingrich, who seems as sadistic as any high school sophomore – will play pranks on the newcomers. Which leaves it up to us.

Prank Three:
We pretended to be Henry Rose, the host of a New York talk-radio program, and phoned several of the freshmen reps and interviewed them – live!! Here are the highlights.

*Freedonia, Marx Brothers fans will recall, was the country in which Duck Soup was set.

WE CALLED NICK SMITH (R-Mich.).
SPY: What should we be doing to stop the ethnic cleansing in Freedonia?*

SMITH: My impression, Henry, is we’ve gotta be very careful, that moving through the United Nations effort has a great deal of merit right now.

WE CALLED DON JOHNSON (D-Ga.).
Do you support Bill Clinton’s proposal to lift the ban on gays in the military?

No, I don’t.

I find it surprising that, as Georgia’s first openly gay congressman, you wouldn’t support that.

I’m sorry, did you say…What? You said I was the first what?

Aren’t you Georgia’s first openly gay congressman?

No, that’s not me, I don’t know that there is one.

We had a story come over the wire –

No, That’s not me. That’s not me.

WE CALLED JAMES TALENT (R-Mo.).
What should we be doing to stop the ethnic cleansing in Freedonia?

I think anything we can do to use the good offices of the U.S. government to assist stopping the killing over there, we should do.

WE CALLED DAVID MANN (D-Ohio).
Bill Clinton has proposed lifting the ban on gays in the military. As Ohio’s first openly gay congressman, do you support his position?

As Ohio’s first openly gay congressman – who’re you talking about?

Uh, the story in USA Today about –

Who is this? This isn’t me.

It’s not you?

No, no, no.

Is there another freshman who, uh –

There are six from Ohio.

There are six?

Uh-huh, Uh-huh. Anyway, if that’s true, that’s something that’s up at the other end of the state.

WE CALLED STEVE BUYER (R-Ind.).
Do you approve of what we’re doing to stop the ethnic cleansing in Freedonia?

Yeah. It’s a different situation that the Middle East.

WE CALLED CORRINE BROWN (D-Fla.).
Do you approve of what we’re doing to stop the ethnic cleansing in Freedonia?

Yes, and you know, I think all of those situations are very, very sad, and I just think we need to take action to assist the people.

WE CALLED JAY INSLEE (D-Wash.).
Do you approve of what we’re doing to stop what’s going on in Freedonia?

I have to be honest with you, I’m not familiar with that proposal, um, but it’s coming to the point now that a blind eye to it for the next ten years is not the answer.

[grasswire]

1. this thread needs a pic