Why does Hillary Clinton bug me? Or maybe it's not her... I'm confused.

sohndrsmith

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Tue Jan-13-09 02:40 PM
Original message

Why does Hillary Clinton bug me? Or maybe it's not her... I'm confused.

Edited on Tue Jan-13-09 02:45 PM by sohndrsmith

I'm also very uncomfortable - and surprised by this to a great extent. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something about these confirmation hearings, or Clinton herself, or both - or neither - that is really not working well.

Admittedly, I have never been a HRC fan, but that softened significantly after she lost the nomination to Obama. I thought her handling of the matter was wonderful (if not stellar... still, my respect for her grew in a very large way - to the point that I thought she could be an asset to Obama's cabinet or administration in some way, regardless of her role. I wasn't keen on her being picked for VP, though, I'm still skittish with her, but I'm glad to have seen a side of her I hadn't seen before: I'm hesitant to use this word because of the sexist, diminutive or servile sense it may provoke, but nothing could be further from the truth - I just don't know another or better word: but the graciousness of her concessionary actions in defeat showed me strength of character and even, yes, integrity, that I did not see in her in the past. I have come close to liking her. Almost. I certainly developed a great deal of respect for this most adept and skilled politician. That was big (for me).

There is no question that she knows policy, she knows Washington, she knows how things work and she knows how to play the game. She's extremely smart and her expertise on all things wonk are unparalleled. She also, (or so I thought before this past year) was the most formidable and expert political campaigner there is. Unfortunately, I acknowledge that with a bad taste in my mouth because I thought her ability to play dirty pool to keep that spot made this "first place" spot somewhat hollow. But that's just me).

But I made up with her on much of this, because I really thought she was going to become the honorable public servant I wanted her to be but never thought she was. This is all subjective and intuitive, but the way our leaders present themselves to us (even little nobodies like me) - matters. And I know there are millions of people who disagree with me and adore H. Clinton. This mystifies me. I don't know why and that bugs me.

I think what prompted me to write this post is my reaction to the Senate hearings today. Not what was said, not the specifics, not the questions or the answers, but the overall flow of the thing, the media coverage, the performance and interaction of those involved. I could be wrong, but I'm uncomfortable enough to wonder if I'm not the only one - or if I am, have someone talk some sense into me.

What startled me so much was the sense (not only in Clinton's demeanor, but in the Senate and the media as well: the message I keep getting alarmed by is: Clinton feels and is perceived as Obama's equal in a way that does not make sense and I don't mean that in any gender-derisive way, so please don't read that into this). But The SoS is not the CinC's equal, and I'm just amazed at the way this is playing out.

Am I off base?

Has anyone else had this reaction?

I'm actually really disappointed. I was rooting for Hillary more than I ever have before. I felt I made peace with someone I - plainly put - did not trust - for years. I think (or thought) I'd gotten past that, but what the Senate hearings evoked in me is... fear. She scares me. I don't think strength is well served in bullishness. She sounds adversarial and battle ready - and somehow that doesn't really square with diplomacy and detente in my brain... Maybe she's nervous. Certainly she's qualified as far as international politics are concerned. She knows every detail. But I can't shake the sense that she is missing an unquantifiable element that we desperately need as we rebuild our global reputation and respect, as well as finesse damaged allegiances and safeguard our nation. And I can only hope that her ambitions are led by what she's incorporated from Obama, not something else.

I understand this post is purely emotional and intuitive, and therefore a lot of people will probably dismiss it as irrelevant. Maybe it is. But one thing that has been sorely missing in our government and leaders, specifically, is that interactive, personal (human!) element that I think is far more valuable than perhaps some others might. Especially in this topmost negotiative position that the interpersonal abilities and deference when appropriate is more crucial than in any other post.

I'm surprised by my reaction, but for the first time since Election Day, I have had the sense that this is a troublesome post that does not fit. I have tons of faith in Obama, but I am uneasy and I feel guilty about that because I wanted to feel good about this and I don't.

Anyone else? Thoughts? Ideas? Reactions? Insults...? : )