'All the president's emails' (The Guardian, UK)

[Jackeens]

:-)

'All the president's emails: In a unique experiment in democratic transparency, Barack Obama - a BlackBerry owner, and the first American president to use email while in office - has agreed to copy G2 (The Guardian) in on his otherwise highly confidential electronic communications. Each week, we present a selection from recent days'

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/series/all-the-presidents-emails



To: Melissa Hathaway, Acting Senior Director for Cyberspace for the National Security and Homeland Security Councils
Subject: email security

Melissa, I know you're very busy, but if you have a minute could you show Joe how to turn on his spam filter? He's not good with this stuff and I'm worried he'll infect all the White House servers. Thanks, Barack




To: VPOTUS
Subject: Re: Fw: possible diplomatic overture?

Calm down, Joe. It's not code, it's gobbledegook. Do you think the real Kim Jong Il would sign off by offering you cheap Viagra and Cialis? Don't send me any more of these. BHO




To: Malia Obama
cc: Sasha Obama
Subject: pets and responsibilities

Hey, I thought we had a contract. When we agreed to get Bo, we also agreed that you two would assume all the duties involved - that includes feeding the dog, walking the dog, cleaning up the dog's business and answering the dog's emails. The IT desk tells me there's a 6.5 GB pile-up in his inbox. I know you've got a lot of homework, but it doesn't take much - "Thanks for the message, woof woof, Bo" and on to the next one. Let's aim for a significant dent in the backlog by the end of the week. Dad




To: Michelle Obama
Subject: Bo

I thought this dog was supposed to be for the kids. It follows me up and down the corridor. It watches me while I'm on the phone. It's watching me now. When I go to the bathroom it stands expectantly on the other side of the door. I'm the President of the United States, dammit. I have people for that. Bx



To: VPOTUS <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: Bank reform... let me know if I can be of any assistance *wink*

Thanks Joe. To be honest that's not what I meant by the phrase "Swedish model", but if I do ever need to appoint a Swedish model to oversee reform of the American banking system, yes, I promise to put you in charge of the search committee.
Later, buddy,
Barack



To: Malia Obama
Subject: transitioning the dog

I believe we had an agreement, a solemn agreement, an
agreement based on trust, regarding "off -limits" and
"on-limits" zones. This is especially important while we have
yet to make an official announcement about the puppy's
arrival. Let me say this: what happened this morning can
never happen again. I meet important people in that room.
Fortunately it's the incoming president's privilege to
commission a new Oval Office rug. That one is off to the GWB
library. Let them try and get the stain out.

I received your name suggestions. Gotta run them by
WH staff to make sure they don't present any difficulties,
eg they aren't also the names of prominent communists or
hurricanes that killed loads of people. I'm gonna presume
that "Levi" is a joke. Dad




To: Michelle Obama, [e-mail]
Subject: Re: Glass of wine?

Yes, totally, almost done, see you in 10. Another aggravating day - banks, banks, banks, and now Rahm's having some kind of screaming match with the Brits over how best to demonstrate global unity at the London summit. (Irony alert!) On the bright side, I've found a clever new way to deal with the incessant stream of irritating emails from Joe - fake out-of-office auto-responses! He can't tell I wrote them myself. He barely knows what the internet is. xB





To: VPOTUS, [e-mail]
Subject: Barack Obama Out of Office Auto-Reply

I will be out of the office until 3 April, attending the G20 summit in London. I will reply to your message on my return.






To: Reggie Love <[e-mail]>

Subject: Re: Washington Post story – "Greying Hair Shows Hardworking President Is Working Harder Than Ever To Solve Economic Crisis"

Your talcum powder idea was GENIUS. Thanks again. BHO




To: Sasha Obama ([e-mail])
Subject: Re: an idea for who could be your commerce secretary

Honey, it's totally sweet of you to try to help, and I know how much you love the Jonas Brothers, but, see, they're celebrities, not economics experts, so I don't think I'll be putting one of them in charge of the Commerce Department like you suggest! You probably saw that headline "Obama Team Embarrassed And Desperate As Yet Another Nominee Withdraws", but we're not THAT desperate! Good luck with your homework tonight – remember, seven minutes of TV as a reward if you get it all done. xx Dad




To: Rahm Emanuel ([e-mail])
Subject: Urgent – poss. Commerce candidates

R, can you dig out some background on the Jonas Brothers and meet me in the Oval Office in 10?
BHO



To: Arlen Specter
Subject: welcome aboard

Just wanted to drop you a line to welcome you personally to the Democratic party, and to say how much I appreciate this courageous act of naked self-preservation. Not everyone would have the nerve to abandon an affiliation of some 30 years standing in order to avoid a tough primary race. I've long admired your independent spirit, but you won't be needing it any more. Good Democrats toe the line. I'll drop by the debriefing if I get a chance - in the meantime I'm getting some bumper stickers and stuff sent over to your office. Update your website, and cover your mouth when you cough. Barack.

[Grey]

1. Funny....