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I don’t know how long my fellow Democrats are going to keep up the present pretences – but I’ve decided to come clean. Despite attempting to contain the forlorn feline within the sack, the cat is pretty well out of the bag by now – so I say let’s just go with it, and tell the truth for once in our America-hatin’ lives.
President Obama, a.k.a. The Supreme Leader of the Muslin World, is not a US citizen, having been born in – ah, yeah, Kenya – let’s go with that! (He was actually born on another planet, but the citizenry can only take so much truth at one time.)
The Democrats who supported his bid for the presidency were all hypnotized back in 1961 – at the same time his “birth announcement” was planted in a Hawaiian newspaper - paving the way for his illegitimate candidacy and election decades later.
It was a vast conspiracy bent on hatching an impossible plot – who knew it would be so successful, and come off without a hitch?
The Democrats (still operating under post-hypnotic suggestion) are now intent on putting The Omnipotent One’s devious plans into action:
Under the clever guise of healthcare reform, older Republicans will be legally euthanized by their family doctors. Once the Old Guard is out of the way, younger GOPers will be “dealt with”.
Monies now being budgeted for reconstruction of highways and bridges will be surreptitiously circumvented into the coffers of companies under the control of Obama loyalists, who will use the funds to construct prisons to house those who oppose us. These jails will be located underneath shopping malls across the nation, where inmates will be fed scraps left behind in food courts and parking lots – thus “cleaning up the environment” at the same time.
Abortion will become a mandatory annual procedure for all women, whether they are pregnant or not.
Christian schools will be shut down, and their students sent to “re-education camps” where they will be taught The Gay Agenda to the exclusion of all other subjects.
The wealthy will be taxed at a rate of 99% of their income from all sources, the proceeds of which will be distributed to the laziest citizens – like those who have used the fact that there are no jobs available as an excuse to not go out and get one anyway.
Disbelieve me at your peril. The Obamabots have already put their more subtle, albeit devious, plans into operation, to wit:
The TV “news” media will be forced to forego covering news items of national interest and instead focus on meaningless tripe about celebrity deaths and – oh, come on, tell me you haven’t noticed that one’s already in play.
Obama operatives will infiltrate the GOP, posing as “advisors” – and will encourage the powers-that-be to destroy their own party by supporting completely incompetent whack-jobs for higher office. (Surely you didn’t think Sarah Palin was an accident?)
In addition, these “consultants” will advise Republicans to send their most ill-informed, crazed constituents to public meetings, or stage “protests” while carrying mis-spelled signs, where their rantings will turn off former GOP voters who still have some common sense left. This, in turn, will cause a steady drop in the number of people identifying themselves as “Republicans” – and you can’t say that one hasn’t worked like a charm.
It’s going to be a brave new world, folks – the entire citizenry will soon be forced to become Muslins, all guns will be confiscated, drive-through Death Panel franchises will flourish, US troops will be used to wage the War on Christmas at an estimated cost of twenty brazillion dollars over the first five years, the “wealthy class” will cease to exist, and white folk will eventually be sold into slavery.
So, you still think your neighbors are “away on vacation”? Yeah, right. They’ve been disappeared, and are probably languishing in a cell under a shopping center Pizza Hut, trying to sustain themselves on snippets of three-day-old pepperoni.
I know whereof I speak. As a three-time Nobel prize recipient with a Ph.D. in every science known to man, a published journalist with a weekly readership of over ten billion people, and an all-around hot babe, I have been tapped by the Obama administration to catapult the propaganda to those of you out there who are willing to believe absolutely anything.
And you know who you are.
Now don’t forget to pass this information along to your friends, relatives and co-workers. They probably haven’t had a completely ridiculous, over-the-top chain email from you in the last twenty minutes – and, as we all know, they just can’t get enough of this shit.
So don't disappoint what's left of your party; spread the mis-information, regurgitate the lies, and be sure to lay on the insanity with a trowel!
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