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Edited on Thu Nov-18-04 02:28 AM by APizzedOffDem
Nov 2nd, 2004. The day I had waited four years for. The day I knew that I would no longer have to see that smirk. The day that our country could move forward. For me, Nov 2nd ranked in the expectation levels that only my wedding and births of my children would surpass. That is how much I was looking forward to this election. I had attended rallies. I stood three feet away from JFK at one rally. I put in more hours standing on street corners than a hooker on Sunset Strip. My arms ached from holding signs. I had no voice from cheering as cars drove by and honked in support of Kerry.
I was never a political person until this election, but Bush revolted me so much that I went full force with my gut instinct. I did everything that I could to ensure that John F. Kerry would be our next President.
Three days beforehand, I could not sleep. I know it sounds silly...but I couldn't. Every time I would close my eyes, my brain would say.."what if?" and I would contemplate everything that could go wrong. In the wee hours of the morning, for three mornings in a row, I had all the doubts quenched. All the "what-ifs" were answered. I fell into a blissful sleep dreaming of what Shrub would say in his concession speech.
On November 2nd, I just knew nothing could go wrong. I woke up at 4am, ready to vote! I was confident. I was proud. For the first time ever, I shed a tear or two when I pulled the lever because I KNEW that I was a profound part of history in the works. By 2 am, I knew that I would be dancing naked in the street because Kerry would win by such a huge margin, that no doubts could be cast. Nothing could go wrong. The exit polls were concise..all showing that JFK would win. You all know what it felt like to see those polls. It was better than sex. Damn, it felt good. I was high as a kite.
I was flying high until Florida went to Bush. My face matched those of the newscasters. I wasn't angry. I was in shock. My kids even started crying. I told them not to worry. "Don't worry", I said. "It's time for bed, but John Kerry WILL win Ohio. When he does, I'll wake you up to let you know." With sullen looks on their faces, they trotted off to bed. I assured them that they would know who our next President was before the sun came up.
We all know what it felt like to watch Ohio. I was talking to friends online, and we were going county by county in Ohio watching the results tally in. The confidence seemed to melt by the minute. Watching counties that had Kerry at 69% with 30% of precincts reporting seemed to flip before our eyes each time we refreshed the screen on CNN.com. "No! That's not right!" "How the HELL did Bush just get 3,000 votes???!" We tortured ourselves for hours. Each time we saw new totals, I felt like a pincushion full of razor blades rather than straight pins. It hurt. It hurt bad. Instead of dancing naked in the street, I went to bed. I was naked then too. Every hope I had for our country, every dream I had for my kids' future was stripped from me. I remember just laying in bed with silent tears soaking my pillow until I fell asleep.
I was seriously in a deep depression when I found DU. I had lurked a few times before, but never for any length of time. A friend linked me to a post on here about election fraud. Seeing that one thread was an epiphany for me. I read that thread..and then another..and then another. I was so wrapped up in reading all the threads, that hours had passed and I still couldn't get enough. I saw hundreds and hundreds of people going through the same pain, the same denial, and the same anger that I was feeling. I guess misery loves company eh?
This website, the people here.. the laughter, the anger, and most of all the hope that each of you have unknowingly shared with me, a lurking stranger, have helped me get through this.
I know it sounds foolish, but whether you know it or not, you have given me my strength back. I have a purpose again. I will wear my tin foil hat proudly. I will defend my rights as an American. I will not tolerate my children growing up in a dictatorial society. I will fight this with every ounce of strength I have (or at least until my husband has me committed) ;)
Tom Petty said it best...
Well I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
No I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin me down
gonna stand my ground
... and I won't back down
Chorus:
(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down...)
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down
Well I know what's right, I got just one life
in a world that keeps on pushin me around
but I'll stand my ground
...and I won't back down
(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down...)
hey I will stand my ground
(I won't back down)
and I won't back down...
(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
hey I won't back down
(and I won't back down)
hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down)
hey I will stand my ground
(and I won't back down)
and I won't back down
(I won't back down)
No I won't back down...
Any-who, this has gotten very long. I just really wanted to thank all of you for being here. You guys rock!
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