I listened to it as we hiked the trails at Philmont Scout Ranch, in Cimarron, NM.
I made sure everyone knew my favorite band was Metallica, that Cliff Burton was my hero and that I got my Metallica shirt in the yearbook a couple of times. Every time I got a new album, I would make sure everyone knew about it.
It just did something for me when I was 14. It served a purpose. Definitely had something to do with my psychology.
I think the lyrics to "Dyer's Eve" may give a clue:
Dear Mother
Dear Father
What Is this Hell You Have Put Me Through
Believer
Deceiver
Day in Day out Live My Life Through You
Pushed onto Me What's Wrong or Right
Hidden from this Thing That They Call Life
Dear Mother
Dear Father
Every Thought I'd Think You'd Disapprove
Curator
Dictator
Always Cencoring My Every Move
Children Are Seen Bur Are Not Heard
Tear out Everything Inspired
I think popular music like that, and popular movies, at least the stuff I was attracted to, reflected the times and addressed the anxiety that everyone knew was in the air.
In the 80's, when I was pretty young, it was Breakfast Club and Lucas. In 1989-90, it was Metallica. Later, it was Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails (and Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls to some extent).
I was later diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and I have been struggling for 10 years with different therapists and 12 step groups until the day the Dark Knight movie came out, when I walked out on someone who I was letting control me, and soon I found out something about my Grandfather who died long before I was born and I was able to forgive him for a resentment that was so buried I din't even know it was there, and things are just falling into line. Several times this week I have told people that it's like someone lifted the cover off of the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a long way off, but at least I know it's there, and I'm not afraid to try my best to get there, one day at a time, one problem to solve at a time. I made amends for at least two major incidents that have been haunting me from those days, and things are looking up.
A co-worker at the convenience store I work part time at, asked me what my favorite band was recently, and I had to think about it. I have been deep into other things. I told her what I liked when I was her age and that was where I left it.
I wrote an inspirational story on my myspace page about the Weezer song "Perfect Situation" and what it meant to me when I heard it in April 2007.
Please read it. I also have a ton of photos of my Dad and his story, and a lot of family pictures that I have been worrying about where I was going to put them for a long time. Now I just want to share my story with the world. I am only as sick as my secrets.
This may not be what you're expecting, or it may not mean much to you, but I am going to copy this into a blog on my MySpace blog and leave it there.
http://profile.myspace.com/371915224These thoughts have been literally going on in my head for two days now. Your question was such a good question. I hope that this reply means something to someone else who may have been, or still is, where I have been.
Thank you very much for this opportunity.
Warm Regards,
Kire