What type of mansion will you live in if you get to heaven?? (from the folks at Rapture Ready)

[Are_grits_groceries]

In John 14:2-3 we read, "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also."
The Bible says that each believer will be rewarded according to what good deeds he performed here on earth. I thought I'd speculated on what type of abode many Christians might find when they walk up to their heavenly mansion.


The Super Saint Mansion: This is the home of those rare folks who totally commit themselves to the task of advancing the Kingdom of God.


The Widow's Mite Mansion: Jesus' example of the poor widow out-giving wealthy men proved that it may not be so obvious who will be greatly blessed with riches in Heaven.


The God Fearing Mansion: The Bible repeatedly declares to us that God will, someday, pointedly ask each of us to give an account of the good deeds we've accomplished in our life on earth. This type of mansion is for people that wisely acted on God's warning.


The Average Christian Mansion: In heaven, even the average believer will enjoy living quarters that will be elegant by earthly standards.


The Struggling Believer Mansion: This home is for people who made it intoheaven by the skin of their teeth. It's far better to live as a pauper in heaven,than to face the alternative.


The Spiritually Immature Mansion: Many Christians fail to fully mature in their faith. Because these folks cling to juvenile ways, a play house would be a fitting home for them.


The Wood, Hay and Stubble Mansion: This is the dwelling place for those individuals Who did everything in life for their own glory. Many high-minded preachers would easily fit into this category


The Pew Warmer Mansion: One of the saddest groups of people in heaven will be those who never did anything beyond going to church every Sunday.They had the knowledge of the truth, but they never did anything with it.


The Quitter Mansion: This is a home that will never be lived in because the person slated for this lot was a believer in name only. Angels began to build him a mansion, but they stopped work when it was clear the client had no intention of fulfilling his commitment.

http://www.raptureready.com/photo/mansions/mansions.html

I guess the real estate market hasn't gone bust. And no I don't think they are kidding.

[NC_Nurse]

1. This would be funnier if it wasn't true.

[malaise]

8. It's great brainwashing for the sheeple though

Give your pastor his mansion on earth and hope. Don't envy the rich or you'll never see a mansion here or there.

I've never understood how people buy this crap.

[ITsec]

9. delete

Wrong place in thread.

[shadowknows69]

2. When my fellow churchgoers started to talk about subjects like this

Is pretty much when I stopped being a Christian and started off on other paths which I have never regretted. Your faith and your relationship with whatever you believe your creator to be, isn't supposed to be a competition.

[muriel_volestrangler]

3. Why is the toilet paper on the outside of the loo?

Do these people enjoy toilet paper that's been left out in the rain, or something? Or they like having to fumble around the door to get it?

[ConcernedCanuk]

21. I suspect there may be two reasons - one being they live in a dry climate

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The other being for those that don't quite make it in time?

Been there! done that!

(and they probably have some inside as well methinks . . . )

[Wickerman]

4. The average christian mansion reminded me of this one

for this average Christian




I wonder what kind of mansion the author of the piece gets? That whole casting stones thing and all?

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

25. Self-Delete. Oops.

[Cirque du So-What]

5. Literal mansions?

:eyes:

For being such faithful 'true believers,' they certainly have trouble letting go of the material world, don't they?

During the days when I considered the possibility of an afterlife, I looked forward to leaving the physicality behind - becoming a discorporeal entity without need for worldly accoutrement.

[Solly Mack]

6. Location.Location.Location.

[tularetom]

7. This is the kind of childish thinking that will doom this country

Most of the rest of the world has advanced beyond this primitive invisible cloud being worship and embraced science and education.

We're fucked if we don't. But the people who run the country don't want us to. Remember:

"Religion is what keeps the poor from killing the rich" -Napoleon

If these stupid dipshits didn't think they were gonna get at least a McMansion in the sky they'd murder all the rich people and take their homes and cars here on earth. And theres a shitload more poor people than rich ones. Soooo, if they're kept stupid and scared, they won't pull any shit like that.

[ConcernedCanuk]

22. "Religion is what keeps the poor from killing the rich" - dammm - I think Napoleon is right.

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Heaven help the robber barons if we all lose religion

as in the "Thou shalt not kill" thingie

yet we vote in "leaders" who participate in genocide and slaughter

and steal our money (taxes)

[ITsec]

10. Here's Sarah Palin's mansion...

All primed and ready for the Alaska fishing season

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

11. God has been offering ARMs to the suckers for millenia. Low down, easy payments.

Pass the basket.

[VOX]

12. The concept of "metaphor" is just too damned complicated for RW Christians...

They take it all so **literally**.

[Ezlivin]

13. Revelation 21:21

"And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; each one of the gates was a single pearl. And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass."

Hell, just go out to the street, chip up some pavement and sell it. Then you can get the angels back to your "mansion" to finish the goddamned job.

Nice to see that even in heaven there will be classes and/or castes.

[knitter4democracy]

24. Wait until they try to tell you that the gold is clear.

I've had that happen to me twice, fundies telling me that the gold won't look like gold but will be transparent gold. Seriously.

[flvegan]

14. Do Ferraris go to Heaven?

If so, I need something with a 4 car garage.

[Marr]

15. So heaven has a caste system?

How does that qualify as "heaven" for any but the few at the top?

It's no wonder they don't care about poverty here on Earth. To this sort of person, Heaven is just about sitting at the top of the pile.

[alfredo]

16. A small villa in a part of heaven that is similar to the Mediterranean.

[Incitatus]

17. /

:rofl:

[Vickers]

18. So, even in Heaven you get punished?

:rofl:

It's amazing how many so-called Christians totally misinterpret the Bible.

[onager]

19. And these are the people...

...who call us atheists "arrogant" because we admit to not knowing how the universe works. Though--speaking strictly for myself--based on the lack of evidence and fairy-tale bullshit like RR, I have a pretty good idea how it DOESN'T work.

As the great Robert G. Ingersoll said: "Never invest in any enterprise which only pays dividends after your death."

[Turbineguy]

20. A Rush Limbaugh look alike

I think would be favored.

[knitter4democracy]

23. I always thought it was metaphorical. Silly me.

When I was a kid, though, I thought it was one big house with many rooms with everyone getting his or her own room.

Personally, I think hell is seventh grade. All that hellfire and brimstone is just metaphor for seventh grade. Heaven, on the other hand, will have Saturday night movie night with God's home movies, all the yarn and fiber I could possibly want to work with, and everyone existing in harmony in a socialistic commune. :)

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

26. I always saw heaven as a metaphor for a spiritual relationship with God after death.

[juno jones]

27. In the '70s Diane Keaton won an oscar

for a documentary called 'Heaven'.

I watched it years ago and was blown away by the absolutely materialistic views the majority of interviewees held regarding Heaven.
To many, what happened here on Earth didn't matter because they were going to live in jeweled palaces and have Jesus come by for lunch every day. Bizarre, and worth watching if you can still find a copy.

[FM Arouet666]

28. Just sad

I really think that many religious people view their faith as an investment, believe now and get a just reward upon death.

I wonder, If Jesus had preached that in heaven as on earth there are poor downtrodden souls.
If you believe in me I will grant you ever lasting life. This I do so that you can minister unto these poor souls, FOR ETERNITY.

Heck, Jesus liked to walk around with the poor, didn't drive a fancy car, no mc mansion or servants or cable TV. Nope, seems to me that he lived a simple life and I wonder how many would believe knowing of such meager rewards.

My guess is a lot. Perhaps the biggest pay off is ever lasting life. Fear of death is a strong motivator all by itself, crazy to see all the fundies attaching bling to the eternal payout.

[Crowman1979]

29. What if a person doesn't like mansions or vast riches?

My idea of heaven would be a place free of hunger, disease, pain or extreme temperatures. In which we all live in a permanent forest of eternal peace & serenity free of ego or possesion.

[Odin2005]

30. More proof that religion is nothing but supersitition.

The religious beliefs of the average person are little different now then they were 4000 years ago.

[Evoman]

31. Materialistic assholes.

Who the fuck wants a mansion anyways? I don't...either in the real world nor their mystical fairy lands.

Mansions are for people who have small penises and more money than brains.