I'm coming out.!

[dapper]

I've told my wife and a friend of mine.
"I am atheist, I do not believe in god and I do not believe in the devil"

It was really difficult. I was raised a roman catholic, for 18 years of my life I was "trained" to be a catholic and did not have a say otherwise. All along though, I have had questions and doubts. So for the last 20+ years, I have been living the facade of a Catholic, while internally viewing myself as Agnostic and all the while wondering what was the right and wrong thing to do.

I learned about many different religious beliefs, many that conflicted with each other, even learning that many Religions based their story against pagan traditions. I learned that Easter was originally Ister and various other celebrations. Eggs were colored long before Christ was born. That's my loose translation of what I learned but I think you get the point.

I'm about to step into the realm of announcing it to my family. Originally I wanted to wait until the New Year but then I am putting off the inevitable. Plus, I am going to a solstice celebration on Sunday... Winter Solstice will be my symbolic celebration going forward and I'd like them to know that before it actually happens.

Yeah, I know I may get some grief but my mind is made up, it has been for some time now.

Thanks for listening.
Dapper

[riqster]

1. Good on you!

We have freedom OF and FROM religion in this country. Use it happily. :hi:

[AccessGranted]

14. Big Move....I'm Proud of You (Post In Wrong Place) But

Freedom will feel really, really good.

[MineralMan]

2. Well, you'll get various reactions...

I tell people I'm an atheist if they ask. Otherwise, I don't say anything about it, figuring nobody really gives a crap.

By the same token, I never ask anyone about any religious beliefs they may have. Very few people, really, volunteer such information.

It's all up to you what you do, I'd say. But, you'll get some negative response, in part based on how you say it.

[Warpy]

3. You might want to soften it a bit for family

as in, "I don't believe any of that Sunday school stuff any more," or even, "I'm just not religious any more." The "A" word is very scary to a lot of people and one of the hardest lessons new atheists need to learn is where it is safe to use and where it is not safe to use.

Believers simply don't understand that it's a simple lack of belief, that it has nothing to do with whether or not we're generous and ethical and that it certainly has nothing at all to do with them. They are universally threatened by people who are too honest to pretend any more and they do tend to get angry and defensive.

The best policy with people you want to keep, like family, is to soft peddle the whole deal. Let them know you're not going to want to be awakened for Sunday mass and leave it at that.

Really.

[Robbien]

4. Sounds a bit as if this coming out is planned to be a confrontation

More than likely your family probably already suspects your views. Making a public declaration rejecting their beliefs and being critical of their deeply held tenets is not something which is going to end nicely.

Just quietly tell one or two family members of your solstice plans and let them know you have decided to follow a different spiritual path. The news will get around the family.

[DesertFlower]

5. i came out about a year ago.

it's a bit scary saying it in the beginning, but you'll get used to it. i don't go around telling everyone one i meet that i am, but if the subject of religion comes up i do say it.

[uberllama42]

6. I never had to come out

So I can't really offer any advice other than to wish you luck. My parents have been lapsed Catholics since they were younger than I am, so nobody ever expected me to be religious. I stopped believing when I was a teenager, but nobody had ever gave us grief over not going to church anyway, so it didn't make much of a difference when I realized there isn't a man up in the sky who cares whether we go or not.

Both sides of my family are just pretending to be Catholic anyway. Except for one of my dad's cousins, none of them even go to church. It would be pretty rich to catch hell from a pack of wedding-and-funeral Catholics.

You seem fairly well-prepared to explain your beliefs and your decision. I hope the situation doesn't deteriorate into an ugly scene. Good luck.

[Lemonwurst]

7. Good for you...

Though technically not an atheist, I hold strong beliefs that don't align with any traditional definitions of a supreme being, though I refer to myself as a Christian mostly because I learned and generally understand the teachings of Christianity - and don't take issue with them (the self-righteous, arrogant "followers" of Christ are another matter entirely).

And whether JC is really the son of "god" or not doesn't matter to me at all. Even as a mere mortal, his presence 2000 years ago has had a god-like impact. No degree of faith, or lack of faith, can change that fact. But the future of humanity will unfold as it will. Despite what organized religions want us to believe, it really is all in our hands now.

Anyway, what you believe or what I believe won't cause problems. Problems stem from allowing our elected representative government to make or adjust policy based on a particular set of beliefs. In that regard, I see the US consistently headed in the wrong direction. Separation of church and state is one of my most strident beliefs, and the rights and treatment of atheists in this country should never be in question. So once again, good for you.

Edited: 2000, not 200 years ago. My, how time flies...

[4_TN_TITANS]

8. Welcome to OUR congregation my child.

My kids are being raised to have the freedom to decide for themselves and get straight answers from both sides.

I'm a Church of Christ preacher turned atheist years ago. I gave religion a harder try than most people, but I never was able to sense any great spirit in the sky. Also haven't seen any ghosts, leprechans, fairies, demons, etc. I've just come to accept that some things will never be answered, injustices will always be with us, and that one can live morally and peacefully without an intangible deity.

[northernsoul]

9. Welcome aboard!

I feels good to be able to tell the truth, doesn't it?

[rug]

10. What are you celebrating on solstice?

[dapper]

15. RE: Celebrating on Solstice

I'm actually going to a "Festival" Sunday evening in which they have crafts for the kids and story telling about the many beliefs surrounding Solstice.

For me, in years to come, it will probably be the day I will celebrate my independence from my old beliefs and my new direction... or something like that.

Dapper

[ZombieHorde]

11. Sucker. Now you're going to burn. Bwahahahahaha!

Just like the Buddhists!

[Silent3]

12. There's still an initiation ritual you have to go through...

...before you're fully accepted by us, and before you get to learn the secret handshake.

It's not too bad. After mine, I was able to sit down without too much pain after about a week. I still shudder a bit whenever I see a whisk, however.

[dapper]

16. lol

atleast it isn't the manual mixer utensil!

Dan

[Goblinmonger]

13. PM me if you want to talk

I was raised similarly (graduated high school from a catholic seminary) and we could share stories if you want. I have not "come out" to my mom yet (dad is dead) because she is old and won't talk to me for several years when she finds out (queen of catholic passive aggression) and I don't want her to die during the "not talking to me" period.

[dapper]

17. Did I mention Roman Catholic?

Wow, we were strict Catholics. If it was good... it was a sin :-)

Dan

[dapper]

18. UPDATE- Told my family.

I actually emailed them. 1 of my sisters understands but one part of the message she thought applied to her when I mentioned "intolerance" she thought I meant her... I had to explain she was fine :-)

One of my brothers who almost became a priest, also came back with kind words. I have a big family, so the full consensus is not in. I actually forwarded it to an Atheist friend of mine who was proud of me... I HAVE NOT SENT IT TO THE IN-LAWS YET! I have a feeling that's not going to go over too well.

-------------------

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen,
After much deliberation, I told that I am indeed an Atheist. For the first 18 years of my life I was brought up and educated as a Catholic. For the next 20 or so years of my life, I have always had conflict with those teachings and suffice it to say, I would probably have considered myself an Agnostic or atleast someone who wasn't sure whether what they really believed. At the same time, I did not want to say anything to my family and friends as… I guess I was embarrassed about it.

Over the course of my life, I have learned about many different religions and non religions. I have seen conflicting information between the different religions and conflicting behaviors of those who share the same religions. The intolerance embarrasses me. In researching and reading about traditions, I have found that many "rituals" we celebrate today, pre-date our own religion or evolved from different religions or celestial events. I'm not here to discount anyone's beliefs, however, I would like you to understand where this is coming from.

If "Spirituality" means "Ghost" or "Spirits", that is not the spirituality I follow but I do get a sense of spirituality when I am walking on a trail, under a canopy of trees, walking by a creek, sunshine, outside reading a book.... I feel at peace.

To put it another way, several years ago, I quit drinking then I quit smoking, in the middle of it all, I was getting pains in my chest, thought I was going to die, found out it was some sort of anxiety or perhaps a bit of agoraphobia as anytime I was out of the house and perhaps at a store, that's when I got the anxiety. You will never know the liberation I felt when I hiked for 4 hours at Park. Coincidentally on some of the same trails that hiked.

For , nothing changes. believes in God. For , he's never been baptized. He will learn about different religious practices, he will be tolerant of others, he will celebrate holidays, it will be up to him ultimately when he comes of age to decide what he wants to do.

For me, I will celebrate the holidays a bit differently. I will recognize the Vernal Equinox (Easter), Autumnal Equinox, Summer Solstice, and Winter Solstice (Christmas). But while different, it will be celebrated all the same. In fact, we are going to a Winter Solstice festival on Sunday. There will be crafts for the kids and story telling about how the different religions celebrate the "Winter Solstice"

I was going to wait until after the New Year to make this announcement but I figured, It is my time to celebrate as well. I just don't want my celebration to be under the guise of not being straight forward.

Happy Winter Solstice
Merry Christmas
Happy Holidays
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's it in a nutshell. I actually feel much better for being honest about the whole thing.

Dapper

[CelineX]

22. That's great!

I'm glad so many in your family have been understanding. When I told my parents they said that they were disappointed that after all the money they spent for college, I turned out to be an idiot.

[PassingFair]

19. Is this your mother?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Aq00yJSxo

:scared:

[dapper]

21. I'll have to wait on that one...

My son is in the other room and as soon as I heard the FAAAAAA, I turned off the sound.

I have to say that using that foul language was against the Catholic religion when I was growing up. I think it's amazing how much I'm hearing it from Catholics now a days. I did hear the part about going to church every sunday?!?! Like, what, that will change the kids mind?

and I don't mean to bash Catholics as that is the faith my family follows, I just don't understand the reaction, the intolerance... shown by the mother... and I'm only like 10 seconds into viewing it!!!

Dapper

[pokerfan]

20. You can be both agnostic and an an atheist

I am.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostic_atheism

[Strong Atheist]

23. Just don't tell people

who you work with....

potentially a BIG mistake...

[Mamacrat]

24. And this one from CNN.

I saw this video from CNN when I viewed the other YouTube video posted in this thread: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbjIYvXpvLM&feature=related That's scary!

[edhopper]

25. Congrats

Not to put to fine a point on it, but this is why I post a thread promoting the use of the term "Non-Believer". (referenced by Pres. Obama in his Address).
It feels less confrontational than Atheist, for many situations.