3rd time's the charm? Rapture conditionally predicted for November 11th

[laconicsax]

Our old friends at http://home.flash.net/~evt/rapture.htm have again predicted a date for the Rapture, and this one is conditional.

WARNING:

If an economic collapse occurs on 11/9/2009,

THEN:

The Rapture takes place on 11/11/2009!

I assume that if there's no economic collapse tomorrow, then we'll have to wait until after Wednesday for the Rapture.

[cynatnite]

1. So, I should write this down in pencil...right? n/t

[laconicsax]

5. I'd use a sticky-note.

[Deja Q]

2. Which economy?

I mean, if the economy of the non-existing country Glennbeckastan fails, it's doom'n'gloom?

[laconicsax]

4. Probably all of them...or any of them.

I'm just impressed they're clever enough to include an excuse in their prediction this time.

[Sebastian Doyle]

3. Doesn't Jesus get federal holidays off?

The Rapture on Veteran's Day? I doubt it.

I vote for "Black Friday". That way, He can do the Rapture and fuck with the modern day equivalent of the "moneychangers in the Temple" all at the same time. O8)

[zbdent]

7. well that's rather rude to the veterans ...

[Sebastian Doyle]

6. These wackjobs need to buy a calculator.

The Bible teaches that the church (Jesus’ bride) will not be here during the 7-year period known as The Tribulation.

Astronomical signs prove 100% that the ending of the

7-year tribulation period is at the end of 2015!

Therefore, the beginning of the 7-year

Tribulation period starts by FALL 2009!

2015 - 2009 = 6 years.

If the end of the 7 year Tribulation is "100% proven" to be in 2015, then that would mean the tribulation began a year ago. Good news for the "OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST" cult, I guess. Not so much for this mathematically deficient bunch.

[ginnyinWI]

16. But math is reality based, isn't it?

And reality means so little when you've got a rapture to sell.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[laconicsax]

19. They're probably using Biblical math.

You know, where 3.14159...3.0, 2499=5269, 29,818=31,089=42,366, and 43=44.

When you use Biblical math, anything is possible.

[zbdent]

8. also, ask them what they consider a "collapse" ...

Under Obama, Dow drops back below 10000 ... remember, the Dow rising under Obama is currently a bad thing ...

Under a Repug, Dow drops down to levels not seen since 1929 ... it wouldn't be a 'collapse', it was a "hiccup" ...

[laconicsax]

20. Why don't you?

I have no contact with these people I just like how that they keep predicting the Rapture and keep getting it wrong.

[NRaleighLiberal]

9. It's always good to have scheduling flexibility around one's rapture.

good thing - we are way behind on our rapture planning.

:beer:

[d_r]

10. 11/11/11

if they could just wait a couple of years 11/11/11 would be an awesome day.

[rfranklin]

11. I'm short the market... I'll be fabulously wealthy for two days!

Hmmm....Can I spend it all in one day?

[rrneck]

12. Maybe I should drop by there

and collect whatever cash, valueables and car keys from them before they leave...

[DeSwiss]

13. Why do they always use the A-bomb picture to signify the Rapture???

- You'd think Jesus would use something mmmmmm.... a little less hot to get your ass in to heaven? I suggest that no one wear their good stuff on the 11th.

K&R

[eppur_se_muova]

15. They keep confusing Jeebuz with Radioactive Man.

Laugh if you want, but they ARE amazingly similar.

[FatDave]

14. If all the Christians disappear this wednesday.

I'll throw a fucking party. Imagine how choice the job market will suddenly be!

[Mythbuster]

17. At the very bottom of the website's home page

I found (after wearing out my scroll wheel) a link for "Tour Of Hell!" I thought about clicking it, but I was afraid it would take me back to the top of the home page! :smoke:

[laconicsax]

21. !

:rofl:

[Silent3]

24. I thought you were about to tell us you found a disclaimer.

You know, like one of those things they say on TV commercials for "psychic hotlines" and the like:

Predictions of the end of the world are for entertainment purposes only. Consult with your personal spiritual adviser or attorney before making any plans to be Raptured. The management of and contributors to this web site accept no legal responsibility or liability for damages, direct or indirect, that might be claimed as a result of consulting material published herein, including, but not limited to, wild spending, sudden resignation from positions of employment, divestment of personal possessions, hiking to the tops of tall mountains to wait for end to come, stoning of unbelievers conducted while thinking one would be in Heaven before the police could do anything about your Biblically approved but secularly illegal conduct, etc.

[Mythbuster]

25. LMFAO!!!

:rofl: :rofl:

[Nihil]

29. Excellent!

Well played!
:toast:

[rosesaylavee]

18. Would it be impolite to ask them to park their cars and leave the keys in the ignition?

[Jester Messiah]

22. Please, please let this be true.

C'mon Jeebus, take your followers home. They've really made a mess of the place, and the rest of us just want them out of our hair.

[Christa]

23. Can we get an Amen to that?

:evilgrin:








there is no god and I am his prophet.

[NightWatcher]

26. yay, no collapse that I heard about

so we are spared

[laconicsax]

28. Well, they took the prediction down.

People visiting that site are now spared three lines of text.

[sakabatou]

27. *facepalm*